Husband lay on sofa when I shouted Help

[darkbluenails]

This has been bugging me all week. A few days ago I was in the back garden alone, went over on my ankle and fell against a sharp bit of wood causing my arm to bleed quite badly and me end up in a pile on the ground.

As I fell I shouted, then I lay on the ground shouting help. OH was just on the other side of the door watching telly, instead of getting up he told our 8 year old to go see what I wanted. 8yo came out and got upset as saw all the blood which by now was all over my top. He helped me up, hobbled inside and OH still lying on the sofa, no effort at all to see what was wrong.

I'm so angry as he heard me, I've never shouted Help before so it's not like a Peter cries wolf regular thing and he must havev heard the urgency in my voice. When I asked why he didn't come out he said "I didn't know why you were shouting". WTF?! As if I would have to inform him what my emergency would be for him to move.

AIBU being annoyed about this? I could have been lying with an artery severed for all he knew.

@ForTheLoveOfSleep how do you assess from the sofa when the accident happened in the garden?

I expect it is not the only example you have of him putting you last.
I wouldn't tolerate it. I'd think about your longer term strategy, it's not a relationship I would put up with.
Unless it is a completely isolated incident I think it's a sure sign that he doesn't care about you at all. Take heed.

Mumsnet is stalked by teenage misogynists - never assume posts here are from women, although women can be misogynists too.

How did he react when he saw you/ presumably had to drive you to hospital? I'd never let him forget it.

I broke my ankle a few years ago when home along with dsd she was about 8 as far as I remember and she got me out of the bath and downstairs onto the sofa. Adrenaline kicks in for kids too when something scares them and someone is hurt.

The therapy she will eventually need for the way she found me sprawled is another matter.

How do you know its an accident at all when someone just shouts "Help" repeatedly? It could be anything. I am not saying the husband wasn't an ass for not responding. I am just pointing out OP could have been more clear about her situation if she needed help that badly. She didn't even send her 8 year old back in to get said lazy twonk to help her.

Yes exactly! If I heard a crash and then my partner yelling "Help" repeatedly, how am I meant to magically intuit that he might need assistance? Am I a mind-reader?

Sorry to sideline, but how did you break your ankle in the bath?

(I am someone who managed to slip in the bath and bounce my face off the taps splitting my lip and breaking a front tooth, so I know strange accidents can happen. I'm not doubting - just bliddy nosey . . . 😁).

When you are in pain and shock it is easier to shout help than shout out the details of what is wrong. I assume if the OP had shouted out she had hurt her ankle and cut her arm, the lazy arse husband would probably think graze and minor twisted ankle and not bothered to get up

Oh OK you're just trolling I see. Try a bit harder.

@SweetPetrichor as someone who has broken my nose and my ankle on separate occasions whilst rushing to get somewhere quickly, I would probably be better being the lazy arse on the sofa!

"HELP! I've fallen and twisted my ankle. It's really, really painful and I'm on the point of fainting - it might even be broken, and I can't stand up. I've also impaled my arm on a filthy, sharp piece of wood and there is blood all over so it must be quite deep and I feel sick with pain and shock!

"Would you mind pausing <whatever sh*te you are watching> please, and coming out to help me back into the house.

"Only if it's not a particularly gripping part of the narrative, obviously"

🤔

Yes - runs trippingly off the tongue, doesn't it?

THAT is what you should have said OP.

"HELP! I've fallen and twisted my ankle. It's really, really painful and I'm on the point of fainting - it might even be broken, and I can't stand up. I've also impaled my arm on a filthy, sharp piece of wood and there is blood all over so it must be quite deep and I feel sick with pain and shock!

"Would you mind pausing <whatever sh*te you are watching> please, and coming out to help me back into the house.

"Only if it's not a particularly gripping part of the narrative, obviously"

🤔

Yes - runs trippingly off the tongue, doesn't it?

THAT is what you should have said OP.

You should change your username

Sorry about the "doubler".

I would be seriously evaluating my relationship after this. This man is a role model for your children and his behaviour is appalling.
get well soon

As someone who has never had stitches apart from after giving birth and after an operation I would assume a cut that involves 8 stitches is still a reasonable wound. For those saying it is nothing would you have not bothered getting anything done?

No... Is everyone who doesn't agree with you a troll? Maybe take your head out of your ass and realise your opinion is not the be all and end all of everyone else.

🤣🤣🤣

OP you’ve had some really harsh responses on here. Horrible human beings. The bar for men is low. It’s very low on here. YANBU.

This would be a deal breaker for me. He didn’t give a shit. Not only did he not give a shit he sent your child out to help instead. Ffs.

Thats why you are still angry about it because he’s shown you that he doesn’t give a fuck. Not even a little one. He’s shown you who he is. Listen to it. You deserve better 💐

Years ago l slipped on our front path on my way to pick my husband up from work. Went flat on my back, and thought, oh god, l hope nobody's seen me... til l tried to stand up and nearly passed out from the pain.
Managed to crawl back into the house, phoned him at work, telling him what l'd done, and asked him to get someone to bring him home, l needed to go to hospital.
He finished his shift, didn't say a word to anyone at work, but phoned his sister in law. Who said she was waiting to collect their little one, so she'd be a while.
I lay on the sofa sweating from shock and cuddling our dog til he turned up two hours later.
Seemed to think l was making a fuss about nothing. I asked him to help me out to the car. He started shouting at me, "Well try and help yourself! Try and walk!"
I was passing out from the pain if l tried to put any weight on it.

We sat in A&E for four hours before l was seen and xrayed. He was still huffing (complaining he was hungry, he'd missed his tea) when the doctor came in with my xray plates. And announced l'd broken my ankle in three places and needed surgery. His face was priceless.
Me 'making a fuss about nothing' turned out to need two plates, nine screws, a week in hospital, and five months off work, including three months of physio so l could walk again.

If l heard someone calling for help, never mind someone l (supposedly) loved, l'd go to see if they were okay. Why wouldn't you? Even if it did turn out to be 'nothing'? I honestly can't understand why you wouldn't.

This thread is so over dramatic. Theres no context to accurately judge.

Yes the op had a serious injury. Yes she was shocked. But someone shouting help from the garden and her husband not automatically running to help means very little. For one thing he didnt know she was hurt, for all we know being in shock her call for help didnt sound urgent or agonised and he may have assumed she was asking for help with garden work. He didn't bloody deliberately send his 8 year old into a bloodbath knowing thats what happened. So yes he was lazy but not necessarily malicious. How he behaved after finding out is way more important.

The idea that if you are lazing on the sofa and hear someone shout help you shouldn't lift your butt off the sofa unless they give a full explanation of their problem is utter bollocks.

Jesus! Only page 1, but the replies! Apparently if a woman falls, has hurt her ankle, is cut and bleeding and asks for help she is being U. And there is where the focus should be, criticising her, rather than criticising her H for not dragging himself away from the tele.

Its like posters on this thread see woman only as body shields for men's shit behaviour. Make the woman take the blows instead!

Irrelevant he didn’t know she was hurt. Who knows what was going on, someone might have broken in, something might have been falling down. It’s irrelevant why, she called to the person in her life she is meant to be able to rely on for help and he couldn’t be bothered to respond. . If a stranger called for help I would go and see what was wrong. Calling for help is an automatic response. Responding to that call is what a normal human would do.

Feel sorry for the people in your life if they can’t even rowse you by shouting help. Very odd take on life.

Looks like we've found OPs husband.