Husband lay on sofa when I shouted Help

[darkbluenails]

This has been bugging me all week. A few days ago I was in the back garden alone, went over on my ankle and fell against a sharp bit of wood causing my arm to bleed quite badly and me end up in a pile on the ground.

As I fell I shouted, then I lay on the ground shouting help. OH was just on the other side of the door watching telly, instead of getting up he told our 8 year old to go see what I wanted. 8yo came out and got upset as saw all the blood which by now was all over my top. He helped me up, hobbled inside and OH still lying on the sofa, no effort at all to see what was wrong.

I'm so angry as he heard me, I've never shouted Help before so it's not like a Peter cries wolf regular thing and he must havev heard the urgency in my voice. When I asked why he didn't come out he said "I didn't know why you were shouting". WTF?! As if I would have to inform him what my emergency would be for him to move.

AIBU being annoyed about this? I could have been lying with an artery severed for all he knew.

If my partner or I hear a crash or a yell, we'll naturally go and make sure the other person is okay. Even if there's something interesting on TV. Because we're normal.

Indeed. It sounds like a nightmare family that ignores the first ever cry for help, rather than get off your arse and go and see what the matter is. If it turns out to be 'dramatics' then the time to handle that is afterwards, when you know it's nothing serious. Not during, when you have no idea.

Posts like this make me happy. 😊

Who died & put you in charge of triage, Nurse Ratchet?
"If you can get up 'unaided', you have no right to have any feelings & must suppress your natural instinct to cry out. Also, I demand that you know whether you CAN get up 'unaided' before you even try to, no matter how illogical that is."

Being shocked, hurt (you have no idea how hard OP went down or what part of her body/head took the impact) & bleeding, & automatically shouting out for help isn't really dramatic in the slightest.

In fact, it's a FAR more normal human response than hearing another human cry for help & not feeling bothered by it.

Sending an 8 year old child instead wasn't great either. Lovely life lesson for them to learn "when mummy falls down & is bleeding, daddy doesn't care, so he sends me, even though I'm only 8". Kids are often freaked out by the bloody type of accident. Big parenting fail from DH as well as spousal one.

Did he properly swing into action once he knew you were hurt op?

I am just wondering whether he misunderstood and thought you were asking for help with something.

I am sure you've asked him by now why he didn't come, what reason did he give?

If he says "I didn't give a shit that you were hurt" or "you sounded hurt but I really wanted to watch the news" then I can see why you're upset.

If he saw how hurt you were and ignored you, I can see why you're upset.

If he thought you were calling someone to help you bring the washing in, then I think it's probably forgivable.

Do you and your DH not have a good relationship? That sounds appalling. As if he is not bothered about you. YANBU to be annoyed about his lack of care.

What has he said since?

😆🤣😂priceless,

But the thread isn't about your lack of imagination is it?

Maybe you've never been winded by a fall, so don't know how disconcerting it can be, or how it prompts a primitive involuntary self-preservation instinct - which is programmed into humans to make them call out. alerting others to potential danger/need for assistance.

Ok. I took that to mean decide if this is symptomatic of a bigger problem or not.

Everyone knows you should not call an ambulance unless you are actually dead for at least an hour, and shouting for help is dramatic.

Being dead is just attention-seeking behaviour if you ask me, @3luckystars

@rwalker would you have just let her bleed too, and not bothered with stitches?

Did you have to make your own way to minor injuries/A&E to get your stitches done @darkbluenails?

I am sure you've asked him by now why he didn't come, what reason did he give?
If he says "I didn't give a shit that you were hurt" or "you sounded hurt but I really wanted to watch the news" then I can see why you're upset.
If he saw how hurt you were and ignored you, I can see why you're upset.
If he thought you were calling someone to help you bring the washing in, then I think it's probably forgivable.

Agree with this. I can kind of see why it happened, but I would have just said to 8 year old go and get daddy quickly

I'm sorry Op. When he heard you he should have rushed to help. He is lacking in empathy and compassion or he has checked out.

Yes this is shit of your husband. You've never shouted for help before but he didnt come out because he 'didnt know why you were shouting'. If my husband shouted help I'd be there like a shot whereas if he shouted my name I might take longer to respond because its regular. Either way hopefully putting your 8 year old in the position of having to help his bleeding hobbling mummy might have taught him a lesson

If my partner or I hear a crash or a yell, we'll naturally go and make sure the other person is okay. Even if there's something interesting on TV. Because we're normal.

Exactly @Coffeetree. All the replies saying it wasn't a problem that he didn't investigate because he didn't know she was injured are really missing the point. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that he heard his wife, the person he's supposed to care about, shout for help and he didn't get off the sofa and go to her. That's not being kind, caring, supportive, and if a partner of mine did that I'd feel undervalued and unloved. I'd rather be on my own than with a man who makes me feel like that.

Your DH is a dick.
It doesn’t matter how badly you were hurt, the point is he didn’t know when you called for help. It could have been really serious.

(This is assuming this was your first time doing a bit of crying Wolf as you’ve said it was.)

However, I hope your 8yr old wasn’t traumatised by all this. I would have said oh, it’s not so bad, and sent them back in the house myself and not had them help me up. They don’t need to see that or experience that fear.

I, like other posters, can’t imagine lying in the garden calling help for a sore ankle and gash on my arm. I read you had 8 stitches which is a minor injury. But then again, it might seem like a lot to someone who has never had a serious injury of any sort (I have).

OP, there is no reason why a good husband would behave this way. Im afraid he sounds indifferent to you, which to me is not a good sign. Unless, there’s no way he would get to me, mine would not ignore my scream for help.

Also, to the poster who doesn’t believe an 8 yet old can help an adult up, they’re either used to very weak children or heavy adults 🙄.

It’s actually hard not to giggle about it and the comments.. I’m probably way evil for even saying that..

Not evil but definitely unpleasant and very odd.

I had a horrible flu when I was 35, my now ex, then H did nothing to help me. Refused to call 111 or an ambulance for me. I had to text my friend to bring me some soup as I hadnt eaten in 2 days. I decided that day that I will leave him. And I did. You should leave him too. He is showing you how little he thinks of you. How little he cares. There is no love, adoration, affection and admiration. Why waste your life with some who lacks basic human empathy? You deserve better. LEave.

Perhaps I am a mix of evil, odd and unpleasant. I’m okay with that.

She should divorce him. She don’t need him anyways. That better?

School holidays have brought mixed up kids to the site again.

My DH calls to ask if I'm alright when I drop the shampoo bottle in the shower.

He'd be mad at me if I hurt myself like that and didn't call out! As he says, that's what partners are for - taking care of each other.

I hope you are feeling OK @darkbluenails and a bit less shaken 💐