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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not collect my 18 year old daughter

336 replies

tengreenbottleshanging · 21/12/2022 21:28

so she went off to have a treatment and was due to meet a friend after.I dropped her there. I came home , started a film and have had two glasses of wine so cant drive. She rang for me to collect her. She is a mile away , its well lit and a cool night where I am..no snow etc. She is losing the head that I wont/cant collect her. AIBU

OP posts:
Lcb123 · 21/12/2022 21:45

my god, I used to walk 2 miles each way to work when I was 14. Wouldn’t even bother asking for a lift. Kids so soft nowadays

ithoughtitmihtbenicetochat · 21/12/2022 21:45

She's 18 and cold, why doesn't she ring a taxi if she is that concerned?
She is an adult!
Christ alive some of you posters are mental. Treat adults like adults. It's a twenty minute walk.

Purplecatshopaholic · 21/12/2022 21:46

It doesn’t matter how spare she goes, you can’t drive just now! Tough, you are entitled to a glass of wine if you want one. Jeezo

Jackie17177 · 21/12/2022 21:47

I want a glass of wine now.... saving my stash for Christmas though!

BiddyPop · 21/12/2022 21:48

Yanbu especially after wine.

then again, Dh and I were talking earlier bout our silver wedding anniversary coming up relatively soon (not just yet but within touching distance) and t the potential
For a night away. As DD would have finished school so should be in 1st yr Uni (or something else... which could be anything including still
Totally dependent on us!). So I empathise entirely!

AnneLovesGilbert · 21/12/2022 21:49

curvymumma79 · 21/12/2022 21:44

Can you walk and meet her half way?

But why?!

AngelsWithSilverWings · 21/12/2022 21:49

If it were my 14 year old I'd walk the mile to meet her ( do this often). An 18 year old in a safe area can walk a mile on her own.

BiddyPop · 21/12/2022 21:50

EspacialLy as DPs didn't like us walking home half a mile
Up
The hill alone (there were plenty of friends happy
To walk us up)...

Yutes · 21/12/2022 21:50

Options to give to her

she can get a taxi
she could meet another friend
she could walk
I mean, I guess you could also walk to meet her half way but I agree that it’s your night and it’s up to her to plan how she’s going to get home

BethJ62 · 21/12/2022 21:50

curvymumma79 · 21/12/2022 21:44

Can you walk and meet her half way?

Are you being serious ??

FunnysInLaJardin · 21/12/2022 21:52

DS1 wanted collecting last Friday in similar circumstances (he has been playing football). We paid for a taxi home

curvymumma79 · 21/12/2022 21:53

@BethJ62 yes. Maybe she doesn't feel safe walking on her own?

Would you of felt safe at 18?

Flapjack637 · 21/12/2022 21:55

‘Losing her head’?! Is this for real?

how would she feel if you were spending the night in a cell following an arrest for drunk driving.

Show her this thread when she finds a way to get her adult self a mile to her home.

Jesus wept.

lambsandlion · 21/12/2022 21:55

Walk to meet her, that way you'll know she's safe.

Ellie1015 · 21/12/2022 21:56

Yanbu. Also you can't collect her, so I don't understand what the point in her complaining is. It is a short walk or a taxi if they will take her (taxi wouldn't take a 1 mile job here).

She isn't saying she is terrified or feels unsafe, she is cold. She will be fine.

Moomieboo · 21/12/2022 21:57

My 11 year old has to walk a mile to the bus stop to get to and from school!!!!

Oysterbabe · 21/12/2022 21:57

curvymumma79 · 21/12/2022 21:53

@BethJ62 yes. Maybe she doesn't feel safe walking on her own?

Would you of felt safe at 18?

Yes, of course.
Most 18 year olds think they are invincible. Some 👀are just super lazy.

FunnysInLaJardin · 21/12/2022 21:58

and thinking about it DS1 got a taxi as it was 5 miles from home. The bus drops him about a mile from home down unlit county lanes and he walks that regularly, so she is being very unreasonable!

UsingChangeofName · 21/12/2022 21:58

She is being ridiculous.
As are the posters suggesting taxis. As are the posters suggesting that the OP goes out to meet her.
No wonder there is an obesity crisis if this is how people think people should travel a mile.

Frenchfancy · 21/12/2022 21:59

YANBU. But it is dark and I wouldn't want my DD walking alone at night. Tell her to stay on the phone and keep talking to her as she is walking.

EternalSunshine19 · 21/12/2022 21:59

Woopzies · 21/12/2022 21:30

Given the atrocities going on in the world right now, I don't blame her for going spare. But I would pay for a taxi for her at the very least.

Agree. Get her a cab

Newwardrobe · 21/12/2022 22:00

How was she planning on getting home if she had met up with her friend?

AnneLovesGilbert · 21/12/2022 22:00

curvymumma79 · 21/12/2022 21:53

@BethJ62 yes. Maybe she doesn't feel safe walking on her own?

Would you of felt safe at 18?

At 18 I backpacked half way around the world on my own without a mobile phone then moved to a city I didn’t know for uni. Neither uncommonly adventurous…

AnneLovesGilbert · 21/12/2022 22:01

EternalSunshine19 · 21/12/2022 21:59

Agree. Get her a cab

Show quote history

She can get her own cab! Wtaf is wrong with people tonight?

Theimpossiblegirl · 21/12/2022 22:02

It's dark and late. I'd either walk and meet her or offer a taxi. I'm all for not pandering in general but women feel unsafe walking alone for good reason.