Smug couples at Christmas

[Aquarius1234]

Why is it seen as superior to be in a long term relationship at Christmas?
Why do I feel side lined always being single at Christmas.
Yet other siblings get more attention and everything arranged around them just cos they are in a couple and or with young children.
Of course I don't have plans just cos I'm single...

To be fair, OP you’ve taken it all on the chin. Thank you for this thread, it’s been quite entertaining 😊
I hope you find what you’re looking for (although I’m still not really sure what that is).

I'm not even sure if I want to date men or women. It's been so long.
Not sure I could handle a sexual relationship. Ahhh.
That' why I prefer dating it keeps a barrier up.

Oh dear now I sound very weird.

Not a good idea as that position would mean it couldn't be centered around you .

And this definitely sounds like the typical Narc moaning !

which I can understand your perspectives, but then there is a mix as to how long building friendship "dating" could progress before it naturally goes to the next level presuming you wanted it to.

You sound bratty and whingy and hard work tbh

Now?

😂

Thread makes zero sense.
🤖
Thought Id throw in a robot. Or is that a transformer? Makes just as much sense as OP.

I Guess we all have different perspectives of strange

Shout out to all the outsiders / misunderstood people at Christmas 🎄

Very much appreciated, and a merry Christmas too

It comforting but changing the perspective that happy = being in a couple and unhappy = single

This thread seems to be getting a bit harsh? You sound fine to me OP and there are lots of nice people in your situation too

If you need to imagine other people to be unhappy in different circumstances because you don't like your own, that's a problem.

Horrible evening- Xmas Shopping, smug couples, Supermarkets smug couples, Train Stations- smug couples.
I felt isolated and I got stuck and delayed middle of nowhere phone died and no watch.

This is because you’re surrounded by arseholes not because you’re single. My last LTR his family treated me like this it was horrendous
this isn’t anything to do with your situation it’s because you’re surrounded by bellends
this might be a historic problem and there may now be things engrained in you like being overly responsible or accommodating that you could get help with via counselling to change
anyway that’s what I’m doing atm.
i hope you’re ok ❤️

Again I ask. Are you so bored in life that you have time to notice these things?

I am in my 20s still. Single, no kids. My god, I don’t have time to notice other people’s smugness as much as you do. 60-70 hours a week job. Siblings and family to keep in touch with. Friends to meet up with and visit from time to time. The dreaded ‘life admin’ as they say on Mumsnet. I don’t have time to notice all that because life is busy as it is. A bit of Mumsnetting in the evenings is as far as free time gets.

Do you really have so much free time you notice this stuff? I suggest you get a hobby. Or a more interesting and busy job.

OP, I’m 29 single, no kids, living with parents after not being to afford my own place alone.

It’s depressing to be single at Christmas. That, I agree with.

All my friends have partners, husbands and children. They have their own lives. I feel a bit lost and like a failure. Especially seeing all their cute family days out, seeing Santa with the children, going to the markets etc. it hurts that I don’t have that. It’s easy to feel lonely.

BUT. I don’t describe any of my friends or any couple for that matter as smug. They are not smug, they are just HAPPY.

People are allowed to be happy, and show their happiness. It’s not to rub anything in single peoples faces. Not at all. Stop playing the victim here, because your bitterness isn’t helping you. You need to change your mindset.

Single people are not treated differently. I am never treated differently by my coupled up friends. Our priorities are different. That’s all.

It will all be over in a few days. All the smug couples will be taking the decorations down, cleaning up after the kids, stressing about January finances and cost of living. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows for couples.

Life is what you make it. You’re only going to feel worse with this victim mindset.

Okay. How come you work such long hours?
Not avoiding being alone more..
Yes I am more 9 to 5pm type job and can be a bit of a people watcher, but when there is nothing else going on and I'm just waiting in a queue or sitting around.
Yes I'm lacking in the friends depth have been out more in the last week but its not consistent.

Is there a difference between couples and 'smug couples'? I am married but struggling to see how that fact alone makes me smug...

I feel like its harder when your single even doing the the Xmas shopping for individuals. I do make the effort but wonder why I bother sometimes. Then I pack my bag and stay with parents for a few nights then back again to mine. Happiness comes in waves for me. I'm up and down.

In the past I've got on better with males than females. Easier to become friends with and meet up with...

I work long hours because that’s the nature of my job.

When I don’t work I don’t avoid being alone, no. I can enjoy my own company and equally enjoy meeting up with friends or seeing family when I can.

You need to nurture any friendships you can or actively fill your time with activities you find interesting and that might give you a purpose in life. Happiness does come in waves, but only you can take control of your own life and decide how to live it. No extra points are awarded for being miserable - take the reins of your own life and start enjoying it. That includes, however, the will to look for the positives in other people. Not just people watch and try and find things to snide at to justify feeling alone and sad. Glass half full and all that.

It doesn’t matter what sex your friends are, that’s for sure. Do you have any good male friends you could make plans with right now?

No I've lost touch or they moved away.