Grandparents 'beat us'to give 'the big gift'

[Notahappyelf]

I'm just heartbroken. Ever since a friend got one in January this year,
all my little boy has asked for for Christmas is a remote controll monster truck. We've ummed and erred but it's the only thing he asked for this year so we got him one from the same series as his friends. It was £70 but having seen his ability to control his friends truck and how well its lasted this year we decoded it was worth it. Its a full on rc truck not a 'toy' one of that makes sense and we've been so excited to fufulill this year long dream for him.

We've just come back from my inlaws having an early Christmas and they gave him books, Christmas pajamas and... a cheap dinosaur themed 'toy' remote controll monster truck!!

I'm heartbroken. I'm not sure I can be cross with them as they aren't the sort to ask what to get him or what we're getting him the way his other grandparents or relatives do. But they've taken that special gift away from us, or am I being ungrateful here? I'm sure they knew that's what he wants, although possibly haven't been told directly that we were getting it. They haven't asked my husband what they should get but I'd hope they'd think we were handling the one thing on his official letter to Santa?

He even commented at bed time that we don't need to get him one now as he has a truck now :(

I just feel he's going to be so disappointed with our gift, and due to its value there's only stocking stuffers from us to go with it. Our son is too young to appreciate that our truck is of much better quality etc. I just feel that, possibly unintentionally, they've stolen a magical Christmas morning from us. I know grandparents like to spoil their grandkids, its lovely, but not to get 'the big gift '?

I want to ask them in future to at least run their gift ideas by us if they're not going to ask what to get him??

Am I over reacting?

Why is your DS opening xmas gifts nearly a week before xmas?

Why don't you communicate with family?

It's fairly obvious why....

because the HAD AN EARLY CHRISTMAS.

It's it fucking rocket science is it?

Yes, this is an irrational overreaction!

That's because a small tub of bath gel clearly isn't intended to be a 'main' present or to outshine another.

Had you bought gim an iPad or whatever, then they wouldn't have been so happy that yours had been the favoured over their smaller present.

This

Your in laws sound lovely in that they are making effort with these gifts for their grandson, I’d appreciate that. I’d happily be in this predicament.

Exactly this. If this is what you need to worry about, I’d be grateful. He’s happy and wanted over Xmas, that’s the main thing here.

@00100001 Of course. But like everything, some ways work better than others.

Op post clearly shows the downside to opening presents before Christmas is the risk they take away from the ones on Christmas Day.

But they didn't, xmas hasn't moved... if they had an EARLY xmas he would have had both gifts at the same time.

They just opened SOME random gifts early.

Neither set of grandparents have ever bought my kids a Christmas present - my Mum got me to buy them gifts on her behalf for a couple of years - then never paid me, - didn't really care what I bought, seriously your ds is so lucky to have grandparents to think about and buy a gift he loves, we have had to have the chat about grandparents still love them etc - I know you wanted the joy but long term - your little boy is very lucky to have grandparents who care.

I'd take your back and get a refund and get something else I think or keep it and do races with them both!!

At least they chose something that they knew he would like.

Last week we had a thread about lazy grandparents who want parents to send links to what dgc want or for parents to get gifts and GP send money to parents. These GP were deemed lazy. Now your GP go out and find a gift they believe their dgs will love and equally complained about. I really don't see the issue with either GP gifting. Your son will love all his gifts.

'Heartbroken' ?? My dd doesn't have any grandparents to buy her Christmas presents. Let that sink in for a moment. You're being pathetic.

This is the solution!

How sneering of you

It’s OK to be annoyed/upset. It really is. Lesson learned: you need to communicate better when it comes to who is buying what at Christmas. Easier said than done sometimes, I know.

The PP who said that grandparent gift giving has changed over the years is spot on. When my children were little we’d turn up at my parents’ house to find a bigger spread of gifts than we gave 😳 And it all comes from a place of love obviously, but in reality, it was a bunch of toys they had no interest in and was a massive waste of money.

My in laws don’t really “do” Christmas in a particularly enthusiastic way (different culture) so thankfully I didn’t have to deal with any competitive gift-giving from that side of the family.

Many years ago when my 2 dnephews were 4 and 6 they wanted a Castle Greyskull. They love in Jersey and my sister said there were none left on the island so she begged me to come to her for Xmas and bring the Castle for her son's to be given to them by Santa. I queued for hours but got a castle which was in the most enormous box ever. I wrapped it using the extra long wrapping paper and took it over on a ferry. I was very sea sick on the way so arrived feeling shit. Got to their house and dsister came out and took castle into garage so boys did not see it. Xmas Eve BiL' sister arrived from Australia and gave boys Castle Greyskull. My sister and BiL had no idea. We managed to solve problem though as my sister rang a close friend who's son also wanted one and she swapped the castle I had brought for toys her friends son was going to have. Xmas morning my nephew's were playing with their castle and friends came over so excited he had a castle too. My sister's friend was so grateful to me for lugging it across on ferry.

YABU. Take your one back for a refund and get him something else. He'll be bored of the truck in ten minutes anyway.

Great story! Fabulous that both kids got one.
What a great auntie. Have you told your DNephew the story?

I think it is a bit sad actually. My MIL is always giving gifts earlier than Xmas so she can get in first. I've asked to return things a few times and she was very put out, but it was exactly the same thing as I'd already bought and wrapped.

I would say still give your truck as it's likely to last longer.

Really enjoying all the competitive “wooden toys are better than plastic toys” on this thread when in reality most kids much prefer the cheap plastic tat 🤣

I think this will be my last reply, thank you all for your opinions, I needed them.

As for all the thoughts on how we manage Christmas presents, I can't imagine him opening all this gifts Christmas day. He's awake for 13 hours ish a day and honestly receives so kuchen with such a large double blended family he'd have about 10 mins per gift with so little time to appreciate any. We spread it out to make it manageable and let gift givers see him open/enjoy his toys. This is what works for us, usually, just backfired a little this time.

I very much over reacted and feel better about it today, as in my previous update I'm just going to be thankful he is surrounded by so much love.

Yabu you should have got him the cheap version back in January or his birthday...

Op, just want to say that your responses have been brilliant and you sound like a really decent and self aware person. Ignore the arseholes on here.