To stop 9 year old eating all the time

[Pineapplestropical]

9 year old dd is overweight. She eats far too much and exercises too little. Started putting on weight in year 2 now in year 5 and kids have started to call her fat at school. Bloods been done all normal. No medical issue to explain why she should be eating too much. Constantly grazing and looking for meals. Yesterday example;

9am 2 scrambled eggs and 1 toast
1130 am Small bowl of rice
Orange
4pm Another small bowl of rice
6pm A small bowl of pasta bake
French francie
7pm; 2 thin slices of rolypoly cake.
9pm; a grilled cheese sandwich.

I know i shouldn't have the junk available. I do have 3 other kids all healthy. Find it a bit unfair that none of us can have treats Coz of her but maybe that's a sacrifice we have to make. She hates exercise, will do less than 2 minutes then sit down.

We did a timetable yesterday to say we need to stick to these times for eating (3 times with 2 snacks) she agreed and was happy with healthy ideas. Fast forward to today and she's gone downstairs by herself to make a grilled cheese sandwich again. She's definitely not hungry as had a good dinner of chicken soup and garlic bread. Im Losing it with her and have said you are getting overweight , you need to get healthier, im worried about ur health. Feel bad about this but i just can't stop her eating or get significant exercise out of her. She helps herself to food if i say no and im with the other kids. AIBU for pointing out she is overweight?

Where is lunch?

Sorry but that's a really weird day of food. Where is her actual lunch? Why is she only having rice and an orange at 11.30 with no protein? Is that what she normally eats?

Is she bored? Has she learnt to associate certain feelings (ie lonely, sad, angry) with food? Can you/another adult help keep her busier so she isn’t thinking about grazing but more time is passing when she’s doing other stuff?

I don't have children and don't know anything about them but is that a lot, really for a growing 9 year old? It It doesn't even sound like enough food to me. It seems like you're fat-shaming your child to me. (I understand I'm not a parent so may be wrong about this).

She needs a balanced diet. A bowl of rice isn't a meal

That seems like an awful lot of carbs. Maybe cut out at leastbone bowl of rice is this all in addition to her lunch and dinner?

She’s hungry because she has far too many carbs and not enough protein. A bowl of rice and an orange isn’t enough for lunch, which is why she’s snacking so much.

That's a very strange diet. Where are actual meals?

It doesn't sound like an excessive amount of food for a growing child, but it does seem like the balance of food types is out and there's not really set meals.

There's not many vegetables and there's a lot of fat, probably refined carbs/ sugar.

She also needs to be moving more because being sedentary won't be helping.

I don't understand, you're saying she eats far too much but then you've listed two items as 'small bowl'

Honestly can't understand why a child would eat a bowl of rice mid-morning either. As in actual rice, or do you mean rice pudding or similar?

She needs more protein to fill her up; other than eggs and some cheese there’s zero protein here and a lot of carbs. A small treat is fine for any child but a French fancy and 2 slices of cake would be a lot for an adult. Stock up on healthy snacks and fruit and just a smaller ‘treat’.
You mention exercise - is there anything she enjoys? Have you tried any activities like dance, gymnastics swimming etc that she likes? Could you all go on family walks together?
please please don’t tell a 9 year old she’s overweight it can be so damaging. She’s 9. You’re responsible for what she eats so fill the cupboards with plenty of protein, fruits and veggies.

more protein and higher fat will make her satisfied. Are you a low fat family?

I was an overweight child (not obese but definitely overweight) because all my mum cooked or provided was carbs- white bread, rice, pasta. No protein. I was constantly hungry and eating toast or cheese on toast.
I'd suggest adding more vegetables to her meals, omelets with veg, yoghurts, fruits, homemade smoothies. Definitely more meat or fish.

She isn't eating too much, she is eating the wrong things. Decent sized portions of good meals will make her less hungry.

She needs protein

and meals

poor kid

No vegetables and barely any protein?

Two small bowls of rice? How small? Plain, boiled rice?

A distinct lack of protein and veg in that day. She's probably got spiking and dropping blood sugar with all those white carbs, no wonder she's hungry!

From what you’ve posted, you are making her responsible for her weight gain. But she’s only 9 (and has been gaining weight since she was much younger). If you
lose it with her and blame her for being overweight, you could give her a life long complex about food. You are the adult and you need to take responsibility for this problem eg

• get rid of treats/snacks - nobody in the house “needs” them and it’s asking too much of DD not to eat them
• get rid of the ingredients for fattening snacks like grilled cheese. If you only had boring brown bread that had to sliced it wouldn’t be so easy for her to make and eat fattening food
• make sure she is getting filling meals with plenty of protein. My child wouldn’t have been filled up by a small bowl of pasta bake or soup + garlic bread at that age

Is that a typical days diet? There's not enough protein and no lunch? The breakfast is good, but she need a proper lunch - maybe something like a chicken wrap, some veggie sticks, fruit and a yogurt? Then a proper dinner - a small bowl of pasta won't fill her up, that's what she's filling up on cake.

You’re giving her crap food then telling her she’s fat? Nice going.

Ask the GP for a referral to a Paediatric Dietician so that they can help you plan the meals and quantities that she actually needs.

The times and food you have given are not good at all; what is with morning but a bowl of rice and an orange around midday? The whole diet is loaded in carbs and sugar and no good quality protein, fruit & vege, calcium etc.

Exercise needs to be fun for some children or they just won’t do it. Do you go swimming, have bikes, a good playground, sport sets like cricket that you can play as a family, basketball hoop at home or at a playground etc?

Apart from eggs for breakfast that’s pretty shite meals. Not surprised she’s always hungry

Where is her lunch? Why is she eating bowls of rice?

Lots of experts online will talk about how every meal and snack should include some protein and healthy fat, and fibre. Like salad with meat/egg/avocado/nuts etc. Or chicken breast and heaps of veggies. Snacks like Greek yoghurt and berries. Nuts and fruits etc. Protein and fibre (from veg and fruits) are so important to keep people feeling full and to properly fuel a body!

You told your 9 year old who might be starting puberty that she's fat? You need to have a word with yourself

Stop giving her bowls of rice for a start and give her more protein !