Would you offer a lift?

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So this has happened twice now where I’ve gone out with two friends. One of them her boyfriend will pick her up and she will always offer the other friend a lift and not me.

Friend lives the same way as her so I get it. But the added driving time to give me a lift would be exactly 10 extra minutes to their journey.

Last time she even said “oh wish we could all go home together but we live in opposite directions” .. and then they drove past me waiting for my Uber and waved but also kind of looked like they were laughing (I can’t be 100% sure).

I wouldn’t offer one person a lift and not the other unless they were very much out of the way, 30minutes+ etc

Personally I would offer but if it is not her but her boyfriend, then maybe she doesn't feel that she can ask him? Maybe the cost of the mileage is too much?

I would offer and my DP also would.

I would absolutely give you a lift, 10 minutes out of her way is nothing to make sure you get home safe.

No it’s definitely not on anyone but me to get myself home. I never go out with the expectation of getting a lift home and I never ask.

I just personally couldn’t offer one person a lift and not the other. It would make me feel awkward and I’d want to make sure they got home safe (even though it’s not my responsibility)

10 mins is not much to add to a journey to make sure a friend gets home safe. But if you have a lift sorted already then why would they? I would always try to make my own arrangements so I wouldn’t have to ask, is that what you do or do you all just make plans at the end of the get together?

What do you mean? I live on my own so there’s definitely no one to give me a lift. I just always get an Uber as we meet in the city - and if I couldn’t get one there’s always taxis around.

As a last resort I could get a public electric scooter .. or walk 45 minutes (thankfully never had to do that)

Friend lives more rurally to me (half an hour out the city) so she likely does plan a lift with her partner in advance.

Again I never ask for a lift or make a comment hinting for one.

Perhaps from their point of view, it is no inconvenience to take the other friend home as they are going that way.

A ten minute detour to make sure a friend got home safely would be nothing to me and I would gladly do it, but maybe they are a bit tight / skint / inconsiderate / or just see you as very independent.

If you live in a city can you not get a bus?

I would offer you a lift if it was 10 minutes though. Is it an extra 10 in total, or is it 10 to drop you off and then 10 back again? In which case I probably wouldn’t.

If you think that they’re laughing at you, though, it’s not much of a friendship.

I had a "friend" who did this sort of thing. I remember her driving home (sober) from a night out we'd been on and her dropping me off in the street 10 mins from my house and getting me to call a cab for myself saying she was feeling tired.
The cab driver was mistified by it saying "why didn't she just drop you off it's like 10-15 mins drive". I made excuses in my head for her but couldn't shake the feeling I'd never do this to a friend myself and felt confused that you could spend hours with me out but 10 mins more was too much hassle. It turns out she wasn't a friend at all but a complete manipulative, fake nightmare. Look out for patterns for example her being late, letting you down etc.
Like you I didn't expect a lift home in general but in the context someone is driving nearby it's odd not to be offered a lift in my opinion.

I should have said you had a way home organised already instead of saying you had a lift. They know you won’t be stuck so maybe aren’t overly concerned if they think you have it sorted.
The laughing business is a different matter, do you actually think they would be laughing at you?

This is when I find MN a bit odd.. because people add things that don’t exist.

What’s me getting a bus got to do with anything?

And yes 10 minutes added to her overall journey, which is what I said in the OP.

Well it sadly looked that way. I was waiting on the pavement and they had to drive by me slow as there’s lot of parked cars, people just crossing on that road.

Guess it’s something I’ll never know for sure but it did seem that way.

Yeah I agree and I do understand why other friend is offered a lift.

I guess I included it as it makes things a bit awkward as she asked friend in front of me if she wanted a lift home. Then potentially it did make her feel awkward as she tried to justify her not offering me a lift when I never said a single word about it.

If the two of them live near each other, it makes sense for them to come together. Do you drive?

I suppose it's up to her boyfriend. Maybe he's said he doesn't want to go out of his way.

How long is your Uber trip home? Is it a long journey?

If only ten minutes, in a different direction, it sounds like it isn't very far for you so she probably doesn't think it that much of an issue.

Yes but I’ve explained why and clearly said in my OP that I get it, or did you just not read that?

Yes I drive. What does that have to do with anything?

Yeah maybe. I just wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving a friend waiting for a taxi alone.

What I absolutely wouldn't do is leave you alone whilst you waited for the Uber.

I would offer a friend a lift and, if for some reason I couldn’t. I would always most certainly wait with them until their taxi arrived.

As long as I knew that you had a safe way of getting home, I would not offer a lift to someone who lived in the opposite direction to me.be especially if it wasn't actually me doing the driving.

Even if it was a total of 10 minutes added to your journey?

Or just a hard no regardless of how much added time.

Could be a issue with her bf rather than her. I have a family member who is happy to drop people who is on his route but will not go an inch out of his way (even just to pull into a driveway). He is very fixed with things though in general though and even a small diversion upsets him.

I personally have taken DHs friends home if they live nearby. I wouldnt take friends who live off in different directions unless I was really worried about them getting home safely.

If you have an Uber sorted then they won't feel the need to offer. Perhaps ask in future and then at least you'll know if it just hasn't crossed their mind or they would rather not do it.

So it's a 5 minute drive but a 45 minute walk?