Would you offer a lift?

[countingdowntoxmass]

So this has happened twice now where I’ve gone out with two friends. One of them her boyfriend will pick her up and she will always offer the other friend a lift and not me.

Friend lives the same way as her so I get it. But the added driving time to give me a lift would be exactly 10 extra minutes to their journey.

Last time she even said “oh wish we could all go home together but we live in opposite directions” .. and then they drove past me waiting for my Uber and waved but also kind of looked like they were laughing (I can’t be 100% sure).

I wouldn’t offer one person a lift and not the other unless they were very much out of the way, 30minutes+ etc

Bloody hell why does everyone need to nitpick the op. Her house isn't directly on their way home and would add around 10 minutes to their journey. Where as presumably the other friend lives directly on the route home.

It's also not inconceivable that a 5 minute drive on a 60 mph road would take 45 minutes or more to walk.

maybe your rude and combative attitude has put them off you

If they live in opposite directions and it's 10 mins from the place to OP house, it will be 10 mins back. So adding around 20 minutes to the friends journey. Maybe she doesn't want to go out her way, or has the worry it may become a habit.

Why not offer your Uber fare in exchange for the lift? Make it casual and say 'hey instead of me paying Uber, why don't I give the X pounds to your BF and he could drop me the 10 minutes home?'

Because you’re making a thing out of it being a choice between them giving you a lift, an expensive taxi or a dramatic 45 minute walk home. If there is a bus option that you’re not using then it kind of explains why they aren’t offering you a lift. I’m not adding anything in, I’m asking for more info.

And I was just double checking that was what you meant by the ten minutes.

But I'm guessing if she lives in the other direction it will be at least a 20 min round trip for her. I absolutely would have waited with you whilst you got your Uber but tbh I may not have offered you a lift home.

OP clarified it wasn't on their way and would add 10 minutes to their journey. Why the endless nitpicking over how she phrased itm it's so tedious!

I think it’s pretty irrelevant if some people on here would have given a lift. It’s the OP’s friend’s boyfriend’s opinion that is the only one that matters here really. If he doesn’t want to do an extended drive home late at night, that’s up to him. If I didn’t like waiting for an Uber on my own, I’d just drive.

How much does the Uber cost?

It's not irrelevant at all. Op asked the question 'Would you offer a lift?'.

Is a bit weird. Are you sure these friends actually like you?!

Or maybe the boyfriend is a knob 🤷‍♀️

I think it’s weird my DH and I would never leave a friend alone if he was picking me up from
a night out. We’d drop a friend off even it was in the opposite direction (within reason).

I’ve clearly stated twice now that it adds 10 minutes to their journey.

It’s not like she lives North and I live South.

*I’ve clearly stated twice now that it adds 10 minutes to their journey.

It’s not like she lives North and I live South.*

Well maybe she just doesn't feel like it. Maybe the boyfriend doesn't want to. Maybe she feels you can get an Uber easily and cheap so there's no issue.

So it's a triangle situation. Bar is A, OP lives at B and friend(s) live at C. To drive from A to B is 10 mins. B to C is 30 mins. A to C is also 30 minutes.

It's really not that difficult to figure out

No I wouldn't because I've leaned from experience it turns into an expectation
Order your uber for 10 minutes before her BF turns up

Sadly Uber is not cheap. £27.80 for my 11 drive.

Yeah, we get that now, but in your OP you said she said you live in opposite directions so I think that’s why people have read it that way.

Perhaps the boyfriend doesn’t want to start offering lifts to out of the way friends of his girlfriend in case it starts to become expected every time the three of you go out.

Do you actually drive @countingdowntoxmass ? it's a pain in the arse giving people lifts when you just want to get home

I would offer a lift, I would prefer to know my friend was home safely.

You live in the opposite direction, so you should find your own way home, sorry. Taking the other friend on the same route home as they usually go causes them no inconvenience but yours would.

If it was the friend driving however, I'd personally be a bit disappointed, but I'd still understand I was out of the way. Its your responsibility to get yourself home.

As a driver it really does not bother me to add an extra 10-20 mins, sometimes more to get someone home safely and to avoid a long public commute (disclaimer, as long as not a piss taker). I think this was influenced when much younger and not driving- it was what friends did. I would do it, but I have also learnt that there are many people who would not even consider it. They just have a blank spot- or no generosity of spirit- but just about lifts.

if It’s 10 minutes in the other direction I probably wouldn’t get my partner to drop you, but I would wait for you to get the Uber. If it was very late though I’d maybe ask him if he’d mind.

absolutely 😂 maybe they’re not dropping her in the hopes she’ll stop coming out if she speaks to them with the tone she’s using on here.