Would you offer a lift?

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So this has happened twice now where I’ve gone out with two friends. One of them her boyfriend will pick her up and she will always offer the other friend a lift and not me.

Friend lives the same way as her so I get it. But the added driving time to give me a lift would be exactly 10 extra minutes to their journey.

Last time she even said “oh wish we could all go home together but we live in opposite directions” .. and then they drove past me waiting for my Uber and waved but also kind of looked like they were laughing (I can’t be 100% sure).

I wouldn’t offer one person a lift and not the other unless they were very much out of the way, 30minutes+ etc

If DH is picking me up when I've been out with female friends he will (and often has) take everyone home no matter how far out of the way they are. Even to the extent of leaving me and a friend in the bar while he nips the closest ones home and comes back, if we don't all fit in the car at once.

The only time he won't is if a friend INSISTS she is fine, he draws the line at arguing over a woman's right to be independent

A 45 minute walk - so, what 2, 2.5 miles?

No way would I leave you standing waiting for an Uber for the sake of a short car journey. I don't think YABU.

If they have a long journey as it is and you are adding more to it ( even 10 mins) then I would let you make your own way. I hate driving though as I live in London.

YABU. Its her boyfriend that is picking her up, so its nothing to do with her offering? I wouldnt expect my friends boyfriend to give me a lift if it was out of his way. 10 minutes or not. That goes past him being a good boyfriend and more towards being a taxi service for a girls night out.

I will stay up late to bring DP home from a night out to save on a taxi and because i love him, but i would be annoyed if i also had to go out of my way to drop off his friend. Its late, I'm tired. I want to get back home. Fine if they are on the way but I'm not adding on extra time. No sir. I've already stayed up late and driven for X time. They are old enough to sort themselves out.

Hmm. But it's irrelevant isn't it? Her bf doesn't have to pick anyone up or offer a lift. What anyone else might do is irrelevant. He is not prepared to go out of his way. End of story. You could not go out with them. But you don't get to dictate what someone else does. I'd drop you off. But I'm not him.

Where in the world did I put anywhere was 5 minutes?

From the city centre it pretty much exactly 10 minutes. You realise people don’t walk as fast as cars drive right?

A different friend lives a 20 minute drive from me. Walking distance on Google maps says it’s 1 hour and 49 minutes.

If friend in my OP went straight home it would take her 30 minutes. If she drove to mine it would be 10 minutes to get there and then 30 minutes from mine to hers.

We’re not in complete opposite directions as if she’d have to go back on herself to drop me off.

I thought that didn’t sound right!?

What I don’t get is why don’t they wait with you until your safe in your Uber not drive by you

The time might not be the only factor, they may be thinking about familiarity with the roads or there is something along that route which they don't like, bad junction, busy, lighting, bad bends, speed bumps etc.

But that’s just a presumption. She hasn’t said Phil won’t give you a lift (and I doubt she would even if it were true).

And who am I trying to dictate? I’ve never asked either of them for a lift. So how’s that dictating?

My aibu to simply would you give your friend a lift home based on the situation in my OP.

Wow that's harsh. I've picked up and dropped off friends in a different village to me and drive back through my town the the destination. My friends have done same for me. I would prefer to go a little out my way to make sure you're home safe but it shouldn't be an issue with friends. Maybe her bf is off and she doesn't want to rock the boat x

Of course they're not obliged to blah blah but I absolutely would if it was only 10 minutes.

Maybe because I never said any part of the drive was 5 minutes.

So here on Google Maps. 11 minutes drive and 45 minutes walk with “your location” being me in my house right now.

Are there other things making you question the friendship. The fact that you think they were laughing at you, makes me think there are other things going on as otherwise I would think them laughing as they pass you was purely coincidental.

I don't think a 5 minute drive/45 minute walk sounds totally unfeasible. I'm not sure why thats seen as an issue.

At 60mph, 5 minutes would be 5 miles. At 30mph, 5 minutes would be 2.5 miles.

A 45 minute walk for me would be somewhere between 2.2 and 2.5 miles. I don't know exactly, but I walk to work (2.2 miles) in under 45 minutes.

I would never leave a friend waiting alone. At the very least they should wait with you until you get your Uber. I can't believe anyone would leave a female friend alone at night! I'd definitely give you a lift!!

I would expect a grown adult to be responsible for getting themselves home - it's already kind of them to drop off the friend who lives on route, but asking them to go out of their way to take you home is expecting a lot of generosity. Especially since you say this has already happened twice so clearly you are wanting to make a habit of using him as your personal taxi and all of those detours would add up.

I don't understand from your screenshot how, if you're 11 min drive away from the bar, your friend's journey will only take them a total of 11 extra mins if they drop you off seeing as you don't live in the same direction as them?

Well she was sat in the front with him driving, they waved at me and clearly started laughing. I obviously don’t know what they were laughing at and could have been a coincidence but it made me feel a bit uncomfortable… to then be stood there alone waiting for my Uber.

I hate driving in the dark especially if it's a route I am not familiar with so if your route took my another route I was not used to I would not offer ( dp would)

I would, if my DH was picking me up he would offer without hesitation. 10 minutes is nothing.

Its not the same direction though, so why eould you expect it.

Saying that, if a pair of us were going home together I'd probably either offer you a lift, or wait until yours turned up. I would leave you alone.

A good friend wouldn’t leave you standing there along at night. Even if they weren’t prepared to offer you a lift (which is pretty shabby) they should have stayed until the Uber got there.

Alone

Erm … what? 😐

Hes never given me a lift home. My OP states the situation of offering other friend a lift when it’s been the three of us has happened twice.

Not sure how someone who’s never given me a lift and neither have I asked for a lift makes me trying to turn them into my “personal taxi”

I think maybe read the OP before you start trying to accuse me of something.