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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what age your kids were before you could have a civilised meal in a restaurant?

192 replies

WildWombat · 18/12/2022 20:26

Without mess, tantrums, having to take colouring to keep them quiet while you wait... It's feeling very far away for me at the moment!

OP posts:
Heartsofstone · 18/12/2022 20:28

Depends on temperament of the child, time of day, so many variables. I had wonderful civil meals out my 4 year old on his own. Together my teens can be very uncivilised. 😀

mahrezzy · 18/12/2022 20:28

2.5. Sorry! But it’s just us (me and 4 year old son) and we’ve always eaten out a lot and he hugely enjoys it. I think if he had a sibling or was competing for my attention with another adult it would be a different story.

Mañanarama · 18/12/2022 20:29

Mess and tantrums - no problem after they were 2 or 3 and could communicate.

Colouring stuff - until age 7 or 8. Then Uno til they were teens.

TheWayOfTheWorld · 18/12/2022 20:29

Totally depends!

DC1 was a dream from around 3; DC2 not so much 😭

Ringshanks · 18/12/2022 20:31

we are fortunate to eat out with our two (4 and 18 months) without much hassle . We cycle or walk there so the kids are happy to sit still for a bit , and choose easy places whilst they are still learning. So mostly carvery pubs , greasy spoon cafes or Chinese buffet places . I know that’s not really ‘fine dining’ but it suits us and we don’t feel we disturb the other patrons with our endless games if ‘I spy’ etc as they are generally noisy anyway. Hoping to build up to quieter places eventually!

Scottishgirl85 · 18/12/2022 20:31

We've always taken our kids out regularly for meals, from newborn, and never had issues. They're 7 and 4 now. We don't take anything to entertain them, but family friendly restaurants usually give a colouring sheet. If not things like I Spy, planes from napkins, chatting etc fills the waiting times. We've had a general approach that life shouldn't change with kids, and we are very laid back.

DilemmaDelilah · 18/12/2022 20:34

I could rarely afford to take my children out to eat, but I do remember taking them out when the youngest was around 3 and they were beautifully behaved. I recently took my 7 year old grandson out to eat in a 'nice' restaurant before we went to the theatre in the evening, and he was beautifully behaved. I got him to choose what he wanted from the menu and tell the waiter, and he ordered all our dessert choices. He has excellent table manners and is (usually) a joy to be with, when on his own!

ofwarren · 18/12/2022 20:35

Depends on the child surely?
My eldest was always well behaved.
Middle child messed about till about 4 and the youngest till about 3.

DilemmaDelilah · 18/12/2022 20:35

No colouring or other entertainment required, by the way. We made civilised conversation.

mangoesaretheonlyfruit · 18/12/2022 20:36

Taken mine since newborn stage and never had a problem. How do they behave at mealtimes at home?

W0tnow · 18/12/2022 20:37

We pretty much always could, as soon as they could sit up in high chairs. But we had to select restaurants with very quick service, and where we could eat early. Plus we tended not to go unless they’d had a decent nap that day. Most places with kids’ menus had their own colouring in utensils. I never brought my own.

Theydoyaknow · 18/12/2022 20:38

Took all of mine out since they were babies. Never had an issue.

Mumof1andacat · 18/12/2022 20:38

We never had the tantrums and mess. Still aged 10 we take something out to entertain, small game, book or colouring. We don't do 'fine dining' though. Pubs and cafes have never been a problem for us to eat in

RosesAndHellebores · 18/12/2022 20:39

Can't remember this ever being a problem.

UmbilicusProfundus · 18/12/2022 20:40

Some slightly irritating and smug responses. Some people get lucky with their kids, it’s not always about superior parenting…Taking out a 7yo without any sibling to compete with is as easy as it gets. But it’s fine to take activities if you kids don’t have the attention span or desire to have long conversations.

LeevMarie · 18/12/2022 20:42

3.5 before DS could be consistently reliable. Prior to this, I'd say that the success rate was poor at home, so we didn't bother!

I've got really high standards though, and I was always quite nervous about the chance of him pissing people off when in reality, it was probably just normal kid behaviour.

creamwitheverything · 18/12/2022 20:43

4 yrs old old enough to sit still and use good table manners, She is 11 now and eats out regularly with us for dinner.

Reindear · 18/12/2022 20:44

Prob aged 3 but with colouring to do. Mine are aged 7 and 10 now and I still sometimes bring a notebook and pen and uno/dobble to entertain them if they want them. They could cope fine without though and have done on many occasions.

Luncheonmeatsandwich · 18/12/2022 20:45

Agree about the smug responses. Mine are 9 and 12 and I can't wait until the day when I don't have to worry about someone knocking a drink over.

ohfook · 18/12/2022 20:46

Mine have regressed massively. We've always taken ours out for meals so mine has always been fab in restaurants (and I was possibly a bit smug about this). Then covid hit and now it's mega expensive to eat out so they're out of the habit and they're absolutely feral. Like a real embarrassment/stick them in front of the iPad sort of behaviour!

edenhills · 18/12/2022 20:47

28

Etinoxaurus · 18/12/2022 20:47

I love food so they’ve always eaten out. Right from babyhood when I’d seek out cafés rouge because they always had banquettes.
Other things that made it easier was that they loved their food and we were used to sitting up for meals and chatting- comfy high chairs then chairs that were high and prioritising meals being relaxed.

Prettyinpink22 · 18/12/2022 20:50

All children are different. Mine has always been able to sit in a restaurant without having a tantrum. Colouring kept them quiet and they loved their food so was happy to sit looking around the restaurant at others while eating. When they reached about 8 then they were not into colouring and were happy to sit chatting.
where as my 3 nephews are the total opposite. They are now 10, 8 and 6; the 10 year old will only sit with a mobile phone glued to their hand and if the battery goes then they throw a strop. The 8 year old isn’t too bad and will sit and have a chat about his interests. The youngest is fidgety and is constantly walking around and fiddling with what ever is close by.

Zombiemum1946 · 18/12/2022 20:51

Around 5 or 6 depending on the child and restaurant.

RainbowCat26 · 18/12/2022 20:52

I’m dismayed about some of these responses 😩 I have a 3.5yo and eating out is a constant battle to keep them entertained, we eat out at least once a week so they’ve had plenty of practice, and I always bring stuff to do and address poor behaviour (hence the constant battle comment!). I have noticed that over the past few months I’ve been saying “they were ok until that last 20 mins” so hopefully I’m seeing a gradual improvement?! I assumed all children were like this!