To ask what age your kids were before you could have a civilised meal in a restaurant?

[WildWombat]

Without mess, tantrums, having to take colouring to keep them quiet while you wait... It's feeling very far away for me at the moment!

'If you instil table manners at home you shouldn’t have a problem with eating out.'

If only that was actually true for all children! 😁

By the time they were in preschool, so 4 or so. We eat out a lot though.

they’re tween to young adult now

Kids are all different. But successful restaurant trip is about managing expectations. Don’t expect to be able to eat multiple courses. Do bring entertainment. Do order as soon as you can - at least a drink for the kids to keep them occupied. Do consider getting them something that takes a while to eat. Do pick a restaurant where they will actually eat something.
For us it was about 3 yo when we could start contemplating having more than one course (with sticker books etc). May be 5-6 for entertainment not to really be needed for one course, but we still allow eg books if it’s somewhere we want to linger after eating (eg with other adults). I would avoid fine dining because a) it goes on for hours and b) the food will challenge most kids.

We've taken our 5&6 year olds out since they were born. Dining out adapts depending on their age. When they were younger it was either early lunch (don't go when they're hungry - go 45 mins before so you have time to wait for the food). If we went out for dinner it would be early dinner at 5pm.

Now they're a bit older we still go for dinner earlier - 5:30 or 6pm. I give them a snack before we go so they're not fed up. We take colouring and dobble and uno and it keeps them entertained.

We never take tablets or give the kids phones. It's a real pet hate and a terrible example for table manners.

I think I’ve erased all the negative bits from my memories 😉

My eldest has been pretty civilised from around 21/2 as long as she has
colouring. From 5 I’d say she has actually been a pleasure to take out. Obviously for some time I felt relatively smug about my good parenting… and then my second child happened. She’s an older 3 and still hard work to take anywhere. She can sit in restaurants etc but it requires a lot of effort on our behalf for it to not be a shit show which doesn’t make for a relaxing meal. I’m hoping she’ll be easier in 6 months to a year.

Your BIL children sound appalling. There is absolutely no need ever to be screaming and throwing food.

HollyDollyChristmas · Today 22:17

Oneofthosewsillydays · Today 22:13

'If you instil table manners at home you shouldn’t have a problem with eating out.'

If only that was actually true for all children! 😁

I think I’ve erased all the negative bits from my memories 😉

😂I'll probably do the same one day!

This made me laugh out loud.

Cafes and pubs were fine from birth. They would happily colour in and chat while waiting for food. The only challenge was DS2 was fascinated by cutlery when he was at crawling stage and would make dives to get at knives and forks.

I wouldn’t take them to fine dining because they wouldn’t like the food and while they are very well behaved they do both talk quite loudly. It doesn’t matter how often we say inside voice please.

I'd say about 5 but I took DD out for a meal on my own a few times before that and we'd have some good chats.

10-14 years it was actually a pleasure to go out for meals en famille

It proved to be a relatively narrow window. They’re now older than this and in full stroppy, sulky teenage mode, plus eat at breakneck speed. Now though we can leave them at home.

Still waiting. Turns out mine are autistic. Nightmare

Mine were out from being babies, no issues

We regularly have meals out with 3 and 4 year old..I take small colouring pens and book with me if they get restless.

There's an short window when it's all good, and no high chairs are needed - and then they grow out of the kids menu / half portions, and suddenly it costs over £100 just for the four of you to go out for lunch, as everyone is on adult servings 😭

Me too 🤭

I think they are... the problem is I can't remember what my eldest was like at that age now because it's such a blue

People have skewed perceptions of their kids OP so you won’t get honest answers.

Im on mat leave so have done LOADS of lunches this past year with mums and their kids. How they perceive their children is worlds apart from reality.

One particular mum friend has an appallingly behaved 3 year old. One time we went for lunch and her kid was running off and throwing himself off the chair screaming. Throwing things and refusing to eat his food. It was awful it really was. At the end of the meal she got him an ice cream for being so well behaved! I was 😮! She genuinely believed he was impeccable, funny and ‘loving life’. She would definitely comment on here smugly about how well behaved her kid is when it’s the opposite in reality she just genuinely cannot see it.

then another friend I went with had a really well behaved child during lunch. Played quietly with his stuffed teddy bear and ate all his food. He did keep asking for ‘mama’ when she went to the toilet and when she got back to the table shouted ‘MAMA’ as soon as he saw her. She took this as bad behaviour and apologised to everyone for his outburst despite him being good as gold. If she were to reply she’d say he was difficult to take out and poorly behaved at meals. I think because she’s so aware of others and not disturbing other peoples meals. So her perception is also skewed of her kids behaviour.

So you really won’t get honest responses as people are honestly blinded when it comes to their kids.

“Jesus, the smugness and superiority on this thread is astounding.”

Why? The op asked the question and for some of us the truth is ‘from birth’ - I’m sorry that is so unbelievable to you. I can’t stand being around badly behaved children so I was very strict with my kids about behaviour in public. As a consequence I could take my three (very different) children anywhere even when they were little. It’s not smug or superior to say the truth.

From 3. But we always ate early and kept meals short to start with. At 9, my DS is a delight to have dinner with now.

Life will be easier if you accept it is a constant battle until they are adults. If you are finding it easy you are not challenging them enough, the aim is to take them to places they find slightly challenging at each age and stretch them so by the time they are 18 you know they could cope with an Oxbridge dining hall or a Michelin starred restaurant.

I have 3DC between 10 and 15. We are a very foody family and have always eaten at nice cafes and restaurants (although mainly at lunchtime even now), I've never been to a Giraffe, Nandos or McDonalds with them and have no desire to. My children are well behaved and don't disturb other tables (and while the colouring and story cubes and screens are a pain they are infinitely better than parents who allow their children to disturb other tables). But most meals out with the whole family are a trial still. My 10yo is incredibly fussy and finds eating out stressful even though we don't expect him to order or eat things he won't like. My 15yo gets stressed out about portion size and gets upset if she doesn't like what she's ordered (there were tears in Spain when she got prawns with eyes, DH had to deshell them for her). They argue with each other and with us. They are fractious if we eat late. But they are constantly improving and the older two do enjoy eating out at really good restaurants now. So they will get there and we can see the end in sight.

Mine are 12, 8 and 5 and although they are all angels if I take them out individually they are a complete embarrassment if I take them all out to eat together so I just don’t do it any more. I would rather we all sat on a cold street bench eating chips then take them into a restaurant together. I’m a failure as a parent in this respect!

Well mine are 28 and 21 and still fight about who sits where. It’s a bit like Friday Night Dinner 🙄

My experience as well.