To ask what age your kids were before you could have a civilised meal in a restaurant?

[WildWombat]

Without mess, tantrums, having to take colouring to keep them quiet while you wait... It's feeling very far away for me at the moment!

'We've had a general approach that life shouldn't change with kids.'

'Shouldn't' is definately the operative word here.

One on one is always easiest. From aged 3/4 I found I could take them out on their own and they behave nicely as long as service wasn’t too long. When they are together, it’s a gamble as they can rile each other up.

Ds was a dream as a baby. Newborn-2 years was easy. He’d just sit, smile and wave at people.
Things went south after age 2.5. When he was 3 he violently threw a block of wood (the table number) onto another empty table, we left immediately, I cried. Ive had anxiety at the idea of taking him to a restaurant since then.

Mine are 4 and 1, and it is getting better but oh so slowly. The 4 year old gets impatient waiting and the 1 year old scoffs her food and then wants to escape the highchair and run around... I'd just love to be able to enjoy and finish a meal in peace! 😂 We only ever go out for lunch, never in the evening. We are very much not ready for that yet!

DD probably 2, we don’t eat out often so she’s always found it very interesting. My DSC were so feral at around 6/7 we stopped eating out at all for about a year. They’re all different.

Eating at the table together at home as often as possible with proper cutlery and lots of chatter and no tv or distractions helps.

DD probably 4, the boys 5.

Please know that’s really normal 3 year old behaviour - I wouldn’t let it put you off- he’ll learn to control his frustration in different settings the more practice he gets.

My 3 year old is more civilized than the preteen at the minute. The nine year old is great but tends to break out into spontaneous dance. Someone always drops something like a sausage or the best bit of food they were saving on the floor. A drink hasn't been knocked over in a few weeks, so that's good 🙄

It may be some time yet before we get to dine without someone crying, sulking or nearly punching an innocent diner, with a dance move.

Wishing you luck 🤞

Mine we took in to restaurants since she was tiny and could sit in a high chair. Yes to colouring or something equally appropriate. I can't recall any issues though I'm sure we probably had to walk her outside occasionally.

Best to go without them, I think

( still waiting for that civilised meal out with out older teens bickering 🙄)

As long as it’s close by and doesn’t take too long I find 5ish a great time to eat out with kids. The only other people there are other families!

From newborn.

The thing restaurants do that is bad is bring kids meals out first. They need to be brought out at the same time as adult meals.

Otherwise the distractions are need to get them to behave.

Mine went from being born. There were never any problems, nor entertainment.
They were always taught to sit at the table and eat their food nicely at home, so there were no issues when eating outside the home.
Mine are adults now and when eating at my home or eating out with me, they still darent get their phones out at the table in case they get ' the look '

I know we took DS to London for a few days when he was 5 and we ate in an Italian restaurant and a Chinese in China town as well as staying in a 4* hotel. Never had a problem with him. We did make sure to eat early (5pm) so that he wasn't over hungry, tired and the restaurants weren't too busy.

At 3&5 they were fine.

Jesus, the smugness and superiority on this thread is astounding. You don't get any medals if your child has impeccable table manners, can hold 'civilised conversations' from birth, makes no mess and is a old head on young shoulders. I personally haven't witnessed any toddler like this for the full duration of a meal. There will be at least a cry, winge, talking too loud, bickering with sibling, spillage, some sort of mess in highchair etc. I often wonder if some of the parents that think little Timothy or Arabella are complete angels pay any attention, when their children are seeking attention by annoying other customers.

From around 3 but he is an only child and therefore has our undivided attention which probably helps.

Before that, cafes or carvery were fine. The local Italian restaurant has always been brilliant from him being newborn- they are so good with children!

My son is 9 now and loves eating out with us.

We’ve always taken our kids out to eat but that didn’t stop them being horrors at times! Once they got to about 5/6, it actually felt more pleasurable rather than us eating as fast as possible just to get out asap.

Gosh, there are some very smug people on this thread 🙄.

We used to refer to eating at a restaurant as tag team. One would sit with then 10yr whilst the other dealt with then 3 yr. Trust me, you're not alone.

This exactly sometimes I took the odd thing to help entertain them but our two have both been to restaurants since they were days old as we had no sitters. If service was slow you have to sometimes be quite creative as they can get bored, chat to them, book an early slot and definitely don’t eat too late or at peak times so they aren’t over tired and service is quicker outside peak times etc. Loved going out with my young family and was often complemented on how polite and well behaved my children were in restaurants. They are both late teens now.

DD is 2Y4M and happily sat in a pub from 16.30 - 18.15 today. But if I had two I'm sure it would be a different ball game with both wanting attention. And sometimes if DD isn't on form we just wouldn't go. Today we set the day up so she would be best placed to handle it well. But if she was overtired or unwell we would call it off type of thing as the risk wouldn't be worth it.

We started in a local cafe and and worked up from there. Cafe meals tend to be quicker. There was usually plenty of space and the tables were wipeable.

We started with cake/drink, then ham sandwiches, then a hot meal. Expected them to sit quietly, engage with me and I always brought something with me- a pad or colouring. I also learnt (by experience) to not go if they are really hungry. Because if the sandwich doesn't come precisely 32 seconds after they ordered it, then it all kicks off.

They are both fine in restaurants now.

'We used to refer to eating at a restaurant as tag team. One would sit with then 10yr whilst the other dealt with then 3 yr. Trust me, you're not alone.'

I think most children do need this approach. I wonder if some people have selective memories if their children are now alot older. I know my dm does, she will say "oh you and your siblings didn't do x, y and z, never had a tantrum etc." I will then gently remind her of all of the times we did! Conveniently she can never remember these occurrences.

I would have been similarly smug with my firstborn. The younger one not so much! They’re also better behaved on their own but siblings together seems to be a recipe for disaster in a nice restaurant!

I know this struggle. I would say around 3 is a safe bet. My youngest is just 2! We eat out a lot and have the usual trying to get up and wander off, dropping his fork to see my reaction, then immediately dropping a replacement, a sudden scream at the top of his voice, deciding to take his shoe off and put it on the table then crying when we took the shoe off the table.. all fun and games