To ask what age your kids were before you could have a civilised meal in a restaurant?

[WildWombat]

Without mess, tantrums, having to take colouring to keep them quiet while you wait... It's feeling very far away for me at the moment!

Dd was ok pretty much any age (bar a holiday where she wasn’t) but we’d use the colouring in option most times when a toddler / age 3 / 4

As a baby, then only abroad really (as generally eating out is a less uptight experience). I'm too embarassing to be seen with in public now but probably DS (21) would dine out with me if I insisted.

Previously no actual restaurant-related tantrums really, just actual autistic-related public meltdowns which were eventually quelled by understanding.

Just find a mutually-acceptable 'dining' environment to start with, then build it fom there.

We’ve been really lucky with our DC, we eat out with them a lot and have since they were babies so they got used to it over time. We don’t typically do iPads etc but previously when they were younger we did take little colouring packs out which worked well.

For us the trick is to really involve them in our conversations to stop them getting bored.

Some of the replied on here are, erm, surprising.

The idea that you could take a newborn or a toddler to a restaurant and they will sit making polite conversation- no nappies needing changed, no crying, no loud comments, no restlessness, no toddler accidentally knocking things over? Hmm.

Anyway, back in the real world I'd say 4-5, depending on the child and the venue.

We've had meals out with our two children pretty much since birth, and throughout the baby toddler stages, mostly without major problems.

However, with toddlers and preschoolers, you need to (1) time the meal to be around their normal meal time, which might mean having a very early lunch/dinner, (2) Go somewhere which serves food promptly and something that they will actually eat, (3) Make sure that they've had plenty of exercise and aren't tired. We also went straight to main courses and only attempted dessert/coffee if things were going well.

I don’t have children but I suppose it varies.

My friends 2 year old is a complete angel. Will remain seated, even if she’s being fussy with her food or doesn’t wish to eat. No tantrums, nothing.

My BILs children are a nightmare on the other hand. His girls are 8, 4 and 2. Tantrums, screaming, crying (including the 8 year old), running off to the bathroom, don’t want to remain seated, won’t eat their food, will throw their cutlery around and also food.

I Iive in a part of London with lots of children. If restaurants and pubs aren't child friendly they don't make money.

So they encourage parents in with newborns onwards.

The restaurants were kids are the best behaved in general are the Turkish, Greek and Indian ones.

We have eaten out since he was born so we always could I guess mind you we stick to pub food and eat out for lunch more than fancy restaurants, nothing to do with our son just since he was born we don't want to spend heaps for a small amount of posh food

I’m struggling to work out how those with 4 and 7 yo dc, for example, managed to take them out regularly from birth to lots of different types of eating establishments so they got used to it. Ok it’s been a short while now, but there was a massive chunk of time in the lives of those kids when restaurants weren’t open for eating in…. My kids got out of practice during covid and it took a long time for them to get used to it again. And even now it’s a bit hit and miss.

My son has just turned 4 and we can now enjoy a meal in a restaurant. My daughter was able to do so from 6months!

From toddlers.. they like food and they like restaurants.

We did take colouring books and stuff and they had books in their bag.

More of a problem getting teens of screens.

Most 2 or 3 year olds don't like sitting still in a highchair for a couple of hours. A few will but not many.

I think it depends on the personality but also the number of children. One on one all my kids can do a nice restaurant without much fuss, 2 adults to 3 kids is pushing our luck and we hope for quick service, 1 adult to 3 kids there better be a playground or outdoor space.

From birth but then only had one child and very used to eating out. The dogs are always well behaved too. Go under the table and don't move until we do. Maybe it's luck, maybe it's training/parenting.

Can't abide feral children in restaurants. Many because they're not used to it so get rather over excited or their behaviour is often ignored by their parents. By feral I mean running around annoying others.

iPad, headphones, pre-snacks and you'll be good

Since birth. Colouring when old enough, have never allowed screens as it's a pet hate.
May sound smug but she's a horrific sleeper to balance it out.

Ds 1 about 5. DS2 is 4 and a long way off

i wonder if there’s a sex split? I don’t know a single small boy who would sit and do colouring. Mine wouldn’t! We’ve taken ours to restaurants since birth with extremely mixed results. I believe that going somewhere grotty is best because you’re only spoiling a cheap snack if they’re awful for the other customers. DH believes only take them to expensive places as if you’re paying a shit load the staff have to be nauseatingly polite even if the kids are total dicks. Some places the boys have been absolute gold, gorgeous, smiling, a delight to be with. Other time they’ve been utter twat badgers and I considered selling them for parts. Sadly it had been very difficult to predict which side of the fence they’ll be on when heading out the door.

'They were always taught to sit at the table and eat their food nicely at home, so there were no issues when eating outside the home.
Mine are adults now and when eating at my home or eating out with me, they still darent get their phones out at the table in case they get ' the look ''

I'm sure lots of children are taught to sit and eat their food nicely at home. It really doesn't mean they will in a restaurant in public. I think it is awful to look at a misbehaving child and assume they haven't been taught otherwise! It is also top much to expect children to behave like adults. A certain level of good behaviour yes, perfect behaviour no! To be honest I don't know many adults with perfect behaviour in restaurants either!

It was never a problem. We had a rule at home that all food, even a snack, had to be eaten from a bowl or plate while sitting at the table. So they were used to it anyway and were fairly quiet shy children when out and about. DS was marginally better than DD but both could go anywhere.

DH and I left a restaurant early last summer due to feral children.

At 4 and 6 we can usually have an enjoyable meal out. Dd1 was tough going when younger, did not want to stay in a high chair, always wanted to be on the move and exploring, so we were lucky to have her first as dd2 is generally a bit easier!

We are the same. We have gone to cafes and restaurants since the kids were weeks old (in fact I think second child was 6 days old going to Costas haha). We went to family friendly places when they were really young, and took sticker books, colouring etc (we are screen free) and we chatted with them. Sure they made a bit of a mess when they were young but we never had a tantrum issue.

My DCs behaved immaculately from toddler onwards - other diners would pass comment on it which was lovely. This was in the days before screens.

As teens they sniped at each other, moaned, sat there sourfaced…was such an ordeal. I’d sit mortified. Now they’re older they are quite pleasant dining companions.

Going out to eat is still an absolute draining nightmare with my two who are 8 and 6. It's always been awful and I don't know why. I was taken out to eat as a child regularly as I grew up in the states where dining out is much more a day to day thing so I just thought it would come naturally. I love to eat out and have taken them since babies. I don't know how it ended up like this, it's actually kind of depressing. I feel that children's menus are not the best idea and it would be better to just have the adult menu. All this choice is too much for them, and since there's always the option of burger and chips they go with that which defeats the point. They squirm and argue, get upset when the food is "too spicy" (it's not) then bang their head on the table because they're upset and then howl loudly. It's awful. Good luck with yours

Some places the boys have been absolute gold, gorgeous, smiling, a delight to be with. Other time they’ve been utter twat badgers and I considered selling them for parts. Sadly it had been very difficult to predict which side of the fence they’ll be on when heading out the door.

Exactly this. Mine are 8 and 10 and we are always without fail the loudest people anywhere we go. I've learned not to be embarrassed or I'd never go anywhere!