To ask what age your kids were before you could have a civilised meal in a restaurant?

[WildWombat]

Without mess, tantrums, having to take colouring to keep them quiet while you wait... It's feeling very far away for me at the moment!

Yes, same here.

Went out regularly, blah blah… kids just not that fussed about food and see no need to sit around taking to eat it.

Some of us took them out regularly from birth.

Are great at engaging our kids in conversation.

Are very strict and care about manners.

They still didn’t want to sit at a table and eat for more than 8 minutes tops until they were about 4.

So it does sound like smugness to assume it is all down to your parenting.

First child about 8 years old.

Second child from birth.

DD - newborn. She was amazing, the atmosphere would calm her.

DS is 6. Still waiting.

Bloody second borns.

You realise as soon as they get the chance your children will be up to their elbows in McDs having deliveroo bring it to the house with a Nando’s starter.

Always really, that’s not smug just factual. I am aware we’re really lucky and he’s an only child so used to adult company. He’s a teenager now and still lovely so we really are lucky.

3YO. Only recently DD has improved to the extent that going out for a meal doesn't turn into an 'entertainment battlefield'. However, we still go for shorter stints (eat faster, I guess) than when we go out solo.

It depends really what you class as civilised, if you're talking no colouring and you can have a conversation with other adults without all the attention being on them - I'm sure some adults can't manage that.

In reality you will always need to give them something to do, even if it's read a book/colour, but around the 3 mark id say.

I was 11 the first time I was taken to a restaurant. It was a sort of ‘treat’ for starting secondary school.

I’m from the ‘a child should be neither seen nor heard’ generation though. 🤣 (Not saying that’s a good thing, just that’s how it was.)

The state of these responses 😂. This thread has brightened my Monday morning and given me a chuckle

I reckon it was when the youngest got to about 4. For us there was a definite no eating out period for both kids between about 18m and 3. It's just not worth it.

I think a lot depends on whether or not your kids are into food. DS1 could spend an hour in a French restaurant aged 3 doing the pincer thing with mussel shells to get them out, DS2 loved his grub so as long as food kept coming he was happy, DD on the other hand was a bit of a shock as once she had eaten what she wanted (around 15 minutes) she got bored. We regressed to family friendly Italian restaurants for a while.

Around 2 but she never that bad in restaurants as she likes watching people and even as a baby was good....this is with colouring of course. Age 6 she don't even need colouring now. This a child that would lie in the middle of road and have a tantrum I'd she didn't want to walk from 18 months till 4 ...just strangely well believed in a restaurant.

Ok. For all you parents despairing at the responses detailing well behaved angels from the time they could fling broccoli, I'll happily admit that taking my children for anything more than a quick 40 minutes in pizza hut while either child was preschool age was a pipe dream. I had fidgeters and bickerers. Even up to about 7/8 both boys have historically been more interested in annoying each other than sitting still.

Thats not to say we never took them anywhere, or that they were awfully behaved the whole time. There was just an awful lot of heavy stares and separation of children and a occasional amount of standing outside while one or another child calmed down.

They are 12 and 10 now and they are well on their way to becoming civilised members of society. Its a pleasure now to take them out. They still bicker, but now its reasoned debate and they mostly make good points.

Our DC have pretty much always behaved ok in restaurants but only because we chose family friendly restaurants/ brought sticker books / chatted about their latest interest. Relaxing, enjoyable meals from when they could read so entertain themselves!

We've been dead lucky in this respect - I have 2 DC who always loved food and were easily entertained with table based activities. So we've always been able to go to fairly decent places from when they needed high chairs. Still, we probably used colouring/stickers/a magazine at the table until aged 6/7 or so.

We stuck too Pizza Hut and McDonald's until our now 8 year old was 6 years old as he was a pain and couldn't be trusted to behave

His younger brother who is a much easier kid was 4.

They are now 8/6 and if we do go to a nice restaurant like a Indian for instance we book a table at 4.30/5pm so we can guarantee it's quiet and not busy.

As they can still be a bit loud at times.

Also I don't agree with iPhones/ iPads at dinner table so maybe that would of made it a bit easier if we had. But it's just something I don't agree with. Hence maybe why ours were a bit older because we could take them.

I loathe eating out with the kids, I've 3 and am in a state of don't make a mess/too much noise etc. the entire time. Then it's the non stop toilet trips, mine are 5 and 7. A friend said she feeds her children before they go out and the kids have dessert when they get to restaurant so they are behaving and eating at the same time.

Contrary to most of the kids on this thread, my 4 year old is still a total nightmare 😩

We can usually buy some time now with colouring or iPad but he still gets very restless and wants to run around. Obviously we don't allow that but then he starts kicking off and demanding to go home

I remember DN being the same at 4 but is now a civilised human being at 6 so I'm hoping for improvements over the next couple of years!

I've always been able to take them. We started at a local Italian where I know the service is very quick. These days we can go anywhere. I can't remember when I stopped bringing sticker books, reading books etc. but it was no hassle to shove that sort of stuff in my bag.

I think a fair chunk is that we're lucky they a) love eating out so see it as a treat b) they get on so I'm not having to break up fights c) have always been happy to do colouring, stickers etc.

I think it is worth persevering with as often as you can

Lots of things will impact the two camps - camp of mine were fine, vs. mine are a nightmare:

Eating out often

Kids being into food

Discipline / boundaries / parenting style (talking about the expectations before the meal)

LOTS of praise when they are doing it right (key one)

Eating at the table at home (so many children I know, ok anecdotal, have dinner without their parents at home, so when they go out, they aren’t used to eating with other, picking up on the social cues that we as adults know)

Both parents there (tag team)

Activities / distractions

No. of children

Length of time it takes food to come

SEN/ hyperness

LOTS of things that all feed into if a child behaves or not. I could say mine were perfect but it means nothing really; I might have been lucky OR I did a combination of the things above that made it easier for us to instill good table manners (we’ve always eaten at the table at home, one DC so far easier, eaten out a lot, I’m strict on not getting up from table from very early age, at home and out and about, my child loved her food so that was/still is a bonus)

@WildWombat don’t sweat it too much. Keep doing what you’re doing. Try talking to the 4yo about what it means to go out for a treat lunch/cake and it only happens if she behaves in a certain way and remember, keep talking about how amazing she is during and afterwards (when she has behaved) even to other people, children love to hear how proud mummy is.

We stopped going out to eat after a particularly awful Sunday lunch when our twins were about 3 … me and DH took it in turns to remove them from the pub whilst the other ate alone. After paying quite a substantial bill we decided it was a complete waste of money.

I do think with more than one child they get each other going.

By 5/6 they were a lot better. Now 21 they’re fab and buy me cocktails 🍹😊.

We went on a very long road trip. when the DCs were nearly 2 and 4. I think that's when they learnt to sit in a restaurant and eat nicely- we must have eaten in restaurants 3-4 times each week for 8 weeks. It's just exposure. Aged 6ish they could read the menu and order for themselves- that helped. I would say keep trying practice makes perfect

Toddlers - but taking ‘colouring’ turns into taking Lego, or toys, turns into taking Dobble or Too Trumps turns into taking cards or other games.
Basically, unless you want to have kids sat on phones - pet hate of ours - you’ll have to engage with them, play with them, chat with them etc
other kids there help…

From babyhood. Took sticker or colouring books when younger, top trumps from about 6. Tended to get exercise in first or earlier in the day so they were okay to sit still. Any bad behaviour and I took them out to the car.
DS2 complimented by strangers when 7 after a week of good behaviour on board very formal cruise ship. Top trumps quietly between courses …
There is no way I would tolerate noise or running around from mine. But neither would I expect them to sit there in silence with nothing to do. Same with flights - I always took a new comic, small Lego kit, notebook for doing noughts and crosses, new book etc and I read/did Lego etc with them during the flight- I didn’t ignore them.