To ask what age your kids were before you could have a civilised meal in a restaurant?

[WildWombat]

Without mess, tantrums, having to take colouring to keep them quiet while you wait... It's feeling very far away for me at the moment!

They are 22, 20 I'll let you know 😂😂

honestly? it varies, with the same DC, too many factors. (are they tired, do they want to go, is something amaznig being served on the menu that they wouldn't normally get at home)

we have had situations where 1 week with a 2 year old we got an extra scoop of ice cream for free as DC had been "amazing, little angels, a dream for serving staff"... lots of big eye coos coming from tables next door, quiet, respectful, only 1 bathroom trip. you'd think we had this every time to look at us.

next week? slightly tired with a "boring" (what you get at home menu) shit show involving DH and I tag teaming, about 7 trips to the bathroom, food being thrown on the floor, about 5 knives and forks on the floor.. fucking nightmare... we ended up just asking for take home boxes for the food amidst a flurry of "fuck this, let's try again in 6 months"...

if you saw us at the first restaurant you'd think we had it cracked. we haven't!!!! just luck. i often think back to that period/age group when we're out eating - it couldn't possibly be more embarassing and worse than that 2nd attempt eating out!

3+ is a safer bet but still open to wild vairance, IMHO.

I took mine from as soon as they could sit. Colouring is fine as is reading. That’s civilised. Have been to all sorts of restaurants and they behave themselves

Honestly some of these smug replies! My first was an angel, would sit and work her way through a bread basket and DH and I would have a lovely meal. I definitely put it down to my excellent parenting, she'd obviously been socialised perfectly. My youngest is a demon child! He's 2 and nothing, not even food will keep him seated if he doesn't want to. We have about a 20 minute window to all eat, otherwise its chasing him around or him crying because he doesn't want to be there.

It's pot luck OP! I'm hoping come 2.5 he'll magically grow an attention span or real love of food!

All the "my child has been fine eating out before they were an embryo" brigade make me smile. Most children are just not designed for civilised relaxed meals out. I have always been keen on "table manners" and taken quiet entertainment such as colouring but even so mine can still be a blimin nightmare. Little children just aren't designed for sitting quietly at a posh dinner table whilst I have a relaxed 3 course meal, one of us generally will have to go outside to run off some extra energy at some point with the little ones. I reckon 10 is where it starts to finally settle down to be more relaxing, though not sure of the impact yet of teenage hormones!

My DC adore going out to restaurants. They are always impeccably behaved, and often insist on leaving a generous tip with their own pocket money. I think this is mainly because of my amazing parenting, and because I have always taken them to fine dining establishments from birth. They are 2 and 5.

Oh hang on... No, that's not my family I'm thinking of. As you were.

We haven't had any issues with our 4 year old but I think that's due to us always having him with us from newborn. We're now doing the same with 2nd DS who's 8 months. I think they just get used to it so it isn't a novelty that brings on over excitement. Don't get me wrong we aren't visiting fine dining places but he's always been well behaved.

I dread going out with my incredibly high energy 4 year old. He is so lovely and very polite, but CANNOT sit still for more than 15 minutes. He wants to talk to everyone, turns around and chats to the people on the tables next to us, wants to go to the toilet 5 times because they have 'cool wallpaper' etc etc. It's cute but exhausting. It's just the way he is.

It really depends on the kid. We were able to take our kid out from when he was a baby and had no tantrums and minimum mess and fuss. His cousin same age was the complete opposite.

Mine are 11 and 7 now and they were mostly fine from maybe 4ish. I definitely noticed a bit of a regression after Covid though. I usually take a card game or books or something but we chat as well.

But having said that you never lose the instinctive urge to move drinks away from elbows 😀

Depends so much but mine were hard work for many years! We persisted and tried to drum good table manners into them, ate out regularly from baby age. Got easier when they were around ? 5 and 7. Dd1 on her own was a nightmare and dd2 much more placid.

9.5 mths. He loves his food and restaurants. It’s one of the places where he has never had a tantrum.

Accidentally ended up in a posh restaurant in France with all 4dc aged 1-15. Total shitstorm, customers tutting, food and bits of frilly french wooden highchair flying.
Whereas Pizza hut= fine.

so I'd say when youngest as 7?

Any age, but I never minded them doing quiet colouring or looking at a book while waiting for their food.

I tend to take something like at least a sketch book for my ds aged 8, but he does have adhd. He’s pretty good in restaurants generally but does need something to do other than just conversation and waiting for food.

He’s been fine as long as he has something like that from about 4/5.

DD is now 14 but she’s been fine in restaurants since she was about 4/5 also - no need for something else to do in her case from about that age but she’s NT so that’s different.

Theyve both been taken out to eat pretty much since they were born, with whatever was needed to entertain them - whether it was drawing/ colouring, playing a game or whatever

My 2.5 year old can't even eat in a civilised way at home so we have no chance out and about 😂 obviously failed at parenting

Around 3.5 - but only child
and to be frank he regressed between 10 and 15 - more argumentative or moaning rather than messy etc

If you instil table manners at home you shouldn’t have a problem with eating out.

Complete pot luck to be honest 😂 she is out of practice though - she spent a while eating while sitting on a parent's lap, so suffice to say she doesn't want to sit still for very long.

Im still waiting at 10 and 7.
They are both adhd though. Meals out are not enjoyable for them or us.

Honestly? About 7 or 8. DS wasn't much of an eater for a long time, so eating out wasn't an enjoyable experience for him.

He gradually became less fussy with food and now he's 11 we can have a lovely long leisurely meal.

Mine is 2 and we've always been lucky in that he will do really well in a restaurant, even over a longish lunch. Lots of books, cars, chat and food does the trick for us.

We've done a couple of early dinners but it's usually always in the day which also seems to do the trick.

Depends. With DC1 and DC2 they ate out from a young age and never had a problem. DC3 was born at the start of lockdown and we still can't really eat out with him. Not sure why he's fine eating at home or nursery (well actually he isn't fine eating because he doesn't eat much but will sit to the table and not mess about). He's only 2 though so am hoping he'll get better as he gets older.

We have twins, I don't remember when the colouring books stopped - we kept eating out from the start because it made me feel part of the human race...in the beginning, we timed it with their naps, then when they could understand we told them if things went well we'd stay for pudding otherwise we'd leave, we left a few places early - no stress, we just left...it was always managed, sometimes light and sometimes they needed more input but we ate out once a week and I refused to go to chain restaurants - the outing was for me - it was my interaction with the outside world - my connection to who I was before - I needed that. Our kids loved eating out though and they were easy going (mostly).

Depends on the place for mine. My older one is 8 and is really great to go out with. My 4yo is fine during the day and early evening. We went a bit later though recently and to a not particularly child friendly place (but not Michelin star either) and I was on edge. He mucked about a bit. Nothing terrible, but it was enough to make me anxious. So we won't be doing it again for a while!

I do think if you pick your restaurant and the time of day, you can do it from any age really and we definitely did. It wasn't always 100% civilised but it was fine. It's only uncomfortable if you've gone to the wrong place ime.