Can't cope with constant intrusion by new neighbour

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

Earlier thread below for context and latest missive from neighbour.

I was not feeling well yesterday and went to bed. When I got up I went out to a friend's house to watch Strictly, a film and chat. I left 2.30am and had to scrape the windscreen. Home in the wee small hours and went to bed.

Neighbour had texted me saying she'd come to ask me to move my car because it was in the way. It wasn't and as I went out it was immaterial anyway.

Today I get another text from her about me allegedly banging my door. I do not slam doors. I arrived home in the early hours and closed the door of course but I don't slam it.

She told me when she moved in that her neighbours slammed the doors. It's odd that the common denominator is her.

I've lived here for years and since she moved here in September I'm anxious all the time.

I think she thrives on attention so I'm not replying to her.

Apart from being considerate with noise what would you do?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4661796-next-door-neighbour-and-normal-volume-of-household-noise-sorry-a-bit-of-a-saga?page=5&reply=122372236

Well the council have been round to check, & they disagree.
You seem to be projecting somewhat ...

@KettrickenSmiled The @Redebs poster has actually gone too far in mocking my ADHD and referring to my poisoned cats as "shenanigans". I just think their mum's found out about their inappropriate internet usage as they've not been back.

A house over the road is rented out and between tenants. The landlord for that place has been sprucing up for the next people and encountered my neighbour and says she tells a different shaggy dog story each time he sees her and thinks she's a damaged person. I'm sort of sorry not sorry for her.

Bit of an update on this saga. I'd heard zero from the neighbour since March and hadn't seen her, other than spotting her in her backyard. Then earlier this week I left the house at the same time as her (we're terraces so no escape) and the window cleaner was there. He was chatting to her and he said good morning to me, so I said it back, then I'd noticed I'd left my key in the front door and went to retrieve it, and she made a remark - to me - about Alison across the road doing the same and how she'd been and retrieved it and texted her to say she had it safe etc. I just nodded.

Next morning, I left an old radiator and some other items out as the scrap metal man was calling for them, just at the same time again as she left the house and she asked about it. I saw that she'd left some old garden furniture by the bin and so said that if she left it on the front he would take those too. She did, and they'd gone when I got home. I don't want to get chatting with her though I did think the bare minimum of conversation was OK and then I would walk away, which I did.

This morning, a note is stuffed through my letterbox saying that I'd kept her awake with my telly being on loud late at night and that she'd texted me twice but I'd not replied or turned it down (I wouldn't, as I'd blocked her and not got the messages). I'd actually fallen asleep in front of the telly and woke at midnight (so annoying when that happens and you're in the middle of a film!) but it was no louder than it has been every single night of this week, last week and the week before and nothing had been said.

I won't be responding to the message, but I'm thinking that because there's been some form of low-key interaction this week she now feels entitled to start telling me about noise and so on all over again? Just thinking this through and wondering about her thought patterns. I'm curious as to why after three months she suddenly decides I am noisy again when I am doing nothing differently.

You reminded her you're alive! 😝

I know that is what I'm afraid of!!!

@Connected1 That's interesting, because if I wasn't on her radar, she wouldn't have been bothered about the TV, but now I am, she is ...

Just ignore her note completely. And be less communicative when you meet. A brief morning is all you need. If you don’t reply to her note (she will think you’re not answering her txts, how could you block her!) she will either stop, which is great, or ramp it up, in which case you go back to logging it and contact the police again.

After three months, to just start her batshit behaviour again is crazy, and she’s played into your hand. Keep the note and any subsequent notes, and keep her blocked.

What a nightmare! You must have had a lovely three months!

@MinnieGirl I did think it was all too good to be true!!!

Funny enough, i was thinking the other day you had gone quiet, and hoping she had been evicted!
Do keep any notes and don’t respond, it seems that when you respond to her she starts up again….
Have your other neighbours heard from her?

I haven't heard anything @MinnieGirl that they have, but they all keep away from her! The morning I referred to when the window cleaner was there she was giving him a rundown on how she can't sleep since her relationship ended and goes to bed at 8pm. Really not interesting to the window cleaner. Unless, of course, he's Robin Asquith I guess!

Honestly! It’s all about her isn’t it….. she has to go to bed at 8pm so everyone must be quiet so she isn’t disturbed….
And you live in terraced houses……
Noise is part of life. Kids playing, splashing in pools, cars coming and going, people talking in their gardens, the radio or tv…. All totally normal everyday sounds.
If she chooses to go to bed at 8pm (and she says she can’t sleep, but goes to bed at 8pm?) she has to accept that she may well be woken and at that hour it’s tough! You clearly haven’t disturbed her for the last three months and nothing you’ve being doing has changed. She is batshit and entitled, and no one is going to accommodate her crazy demands so she needs to get used to that fact.
What about another quiet word with her landlord? Did I remember that her tenancy was up this summer? Would he be prepared to serve notice?

@MinnieGirl And she gets up at 7, I know that, because I heard her alarm clock through the wall of my bedroom! I also heard her doing Whitney Houston impressions on Tuesday when I was hanging washing out. I've heard her singing "If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it" through the bathroom window, too. The point is, I don't much care - it's part of life!! I'd not complain about it.

Exactly!
Who has that amount of sleep at her age….. my toddler grandson doesn’t sleep that much! She’s crazy…

Update this week.

My friend called round on Monday and her husband came to collect her. He is the person who fitted my doors and windows, and I asked him to take a look at the door to see if there was any problem with it. He tried the lock from inside and outside the house, and said there is no problem and it doesn't bang or slam when closed normally - I showed him how I closed it.

The neighbour came out of the house in her pyjamas (this was 7.55 pm) asking what all the noise was. I introduced my friend's husband to her as the door fitter and he told her there was no problem with it and the noise level was normal.

She looked embarrassed and slunk back inside!

Excellent update! 👍

Ha ha…..
She came out and asked what all the noise was?! That says it all… it’s 7.55 in the evening… not 3am for goodness sake. I would add the door fitter’s testimony to your pile of evidence….
Stupid woman…

Can you see about gettng a cease and desist letter to her about complaining about the noise (of which there isn't any)?

Ha, that’s excellent!

Update: she texted the couple on the other side of her asking them to move a black bin bag that the rain was dripping on because it was keeping her awake. When they didn't answer she messaged again. And again. They're my next door but one neighbours - the wife said she only found the messages yesterday morning when they set off on a long drive to Cornwall for two weeks!

I think she's now targeting them. They need to block now!

They need to block her without replying. And if she approaches them once they are home, she needs to be told very firmly to stop her nonsense.
This woman is totally batshit…

And how on earth did she get their phone number? Honestly are the neighbours all doing this on purpose for entertainment or something? You had silence for months so you started talking to her again! Why on earth didn't you just get the police to tell her to stop harassing you months ago? I don't get it?

Oh good grief, she's making a terrible nuisance of herself.

If all these terrible disturbances get too much perhaps she'll move.........

Rain dropping on a bin bag, I hope your neighbours had left for their holiday before they saw that one, they must think she's batshit

@JoyBeorge Of course nobody is doing anything for entertainment (with the possible exception of the woman next door, maybe). I think we are all too busy with work, family and other things to require entertaining by this.

I left it with the police in March that if there were further incidents of harassment I would ask them to intervene. I'd already seen the landlord just before that. It stopped, and I didn't see her for months after that. If it had continued, that would have been a different tale.

The only reason I spoke later (June, three months later} was because the window cleaner engaged us both in conversation and it was perfunctory on my part, rather than be rude in front of the window cleaner and have her start a conversation about that. It's perfectly clear in my post of 9 June. She asked about the scrap metal I think the next day. I preferred to answer her briefly rather than ignore or tell her to do one in the street. Then she stuffed a note through the letterbox which I ignored. Again, no more problems. If that had continued and escalated again I would have taken it further but it seems small stuff on its own as it wasn't constant. I've learned to ignore it, too.

I don't think I have done anything to encourage her since March, nor has she actually done anything sufficient for me to ask the police to warn her. If she does, then we will look again at that.

As for the neighbours on the other side, I don't know why she has their number, but probably they gave it to her in good faith in the early days the same way I did.

@BanditsOnTheHorizon They saw the messages the next morning when they got up.

@MinnieGirl Yes she definitely is.