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AIBU?

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Original poster

Can't cope with constant intrusion by new neighbour

407 replies

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 18/12/2022 19:56

Earlier thread below for context and latest missive from neighbour.

I was not feeling well yesterday and went to bed. When I got up I went out to a friend's house to watch Strictly, a film and chat. I left 2.30am and had to scrape the windscreen. Home in the wee small hours and went to bed.

Neighbour had texted me saying she'd come to ask me to move my car because it was in the way. It wasn't and as I went out it was immaterial anyway.

Today I get another text from her about me allegedly banging my door. I do not slam doors. I arrived home in the early hours and closed the door of course but I don't slam it.

She told me when she moved in that her neighbours slammed the doors. It's odd that the common denominator is her.

I've lived here for years and since she moved here in September I'm anxious all the time.

I think she thrives on attention so I'm not replying to her.

Apart from being considerate with noise what would you do?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4661796-next-door-neighbour-and-normal-volume-of-household-noise-sorry-a-bit-of-a-saga?page=5&reply=122372236

OP posts:
Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 16/03/2023 13:22

Tonight @MinnieGirl. However ... a neighbour across the street and three doors down contacted me earlier this week about some work and asked me how I was getting on with the new neighbour, because she found her overbearing, intrusive and nosey, having collared her twice on the doorstep. She said she avoids her, and my NDN told her that she has a list of everyone on the street - their names, numbers and where they work. She actually said something similar to my other neighbour, who contacted me to see if I was OK after she heard her shouting at me out of the window.

OP posts:
MinnieGirl · 16/03/2023 15:11

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 16/03/2023 13:22

Tonight @MinnieGirl. However ... a neighbour across the street and three doors down contacted me earlier this week about some work and asked me how I was getting on with the new neighbour, because she found her overbearing, intrusive and nosey, having collared her twice on the doorstep. She said she avoids her, and my NDN told her that she has a list of everyone on the street - their names, numbers and where they work. She actually said something similar to my other neighbour, who contacted me to see if I was OK after she heard her shouting at me out of the window.

Very odd behaviour and an excellent reason for not giving out your number to your neighbours..
Make sure you give that information to the police too…
Crazy woman.

Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 16/03/2023 15:14

I've got a small business, mobile cat care, and have a sign on the car (basically a large fridge magnet!) with my number, Facebook and Instagram details. I've just thought I need to block her on those platforms. Not that I'm connected to her but you never know what she's going to do next!

OP posts:
Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 16/03/2023 20:41

Police have been, just left. They advised me it's harassment. She pushed a note through the letter box about parking today. They agree the common denominator is her and I'm not doing anything wrong or being inappropriately noisy. We've left it that they'll confront her if there's any more contact from her. Her lights went on, so I'm sure she saw the police and heard me talking to them outside about parking. I now have to get the cat inside and it's past her bedtime!!!

OP posts:
MinnieGirl · 17/03/2023 08:30

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 16/03/2023 20:41

Police have been, just left. They advised me it's harassment. She pushed a note through the letter box about parking today. They agree the common denominator is her and I'm not doing anything wrong or being inappropriately noisy. We've left it that they'll confront her if there's any more contact from her. Her lights went on, so I'm sure she saw the police and heard me talking to them outside about parking. I now have to get the cat inside and it's past her bedtime!!!

Well at least they have agreed it’s harassment. So if she leans out of the window and yells again just call them straight away. She needs to be told to wind it in.
Did her other neighbours speak to the police too?

Rosula · 17/03/2023 08:40

Have you spoken to the landlord? The fact that the police say she is harassing neighbours is likely to be a breach of the tenancy agreement.

Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 17/03/2023 09:05

@MinnieGirl No just me. @Rosula I'm planning on doing that over the weekend.

OP posts:
MinnieGirl · 17/03/2023 09:42

Rosula · 17/03/2023 08:40

Have you spoken to the landlord? The fact that the police say she is harassing neighbours is likely to be a breach of the tenancy agreement.

Oh good point! Yes I would be contacting the landlord today to advise and update on the situation. I’m sure the landlord won’t want that sort of headache anyway and with a bit of luck will give her notice.

Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 17/03/2023 16:05

@MinnieGirl I've had a very good conversation with the landlord and his wife. I gave them the chronology I gave to the police. The neighbour had contacted the landlord last week to put up a shelf (not sure she should be but he went to sort it) and she said "it's been quiet Saffron hasn't banged her door once".

I've explained about the police and also the council got back in touch to advise me to contact the landlord and they'll catch up with me on Monday.

I've explained that she's been over the top with other neighbours too. They said I should have not been afraid to contact them sooner and to let them know if she pushes any more notes through the letter box.

OP posts:
MinnieGirl · 17/03/2023 17:23

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 17/03/2023 16:05

@MinnieGirl I've had a very good conversation with the landlord and his wife. I gave them the chronology I gave to the police. The neighbour had contacted the landlord last week to put up a shelf (not sure she should be but he went to sort it) and she said "it's been quiet Saffron hasn't banged her door once".

I've explained about the police and also the council got back in touch to advise me to contact the landlord and they'll catch up with me on Monday.

I've explained that she's been over the top with other neighbours too. They said I should have not been afraid to contact them sooner and to let them know if she pushes any more notes through the letter box.

That sounds very positive. Did they say anything about ending her tenancy? At least now the landlord, police and the council are all onboard. And you have been reassured that you are not doing anything wrong.

So what happens now? If she complains or puts a note through the door, do you contact the police straight away?

Bunnyishotandcross · 17/03/2023 18:49

Glad you are being listened to op.

XanaduKira · 18/03/2023 09:41

Glad you spoke to the landlord Op.

Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 18/03/2023 10:11

MinnieGirl · 17/03/2023 17:23

That sounds very positive. Did they say anything about ending her tenancy? At least now the landlord, police and the council are all onboard. And you have been reassured that you are not doing anything wrong.

So what happens now? If she complains or puts a note through the door, do you contact the police straight away?

Show quote history

Yes, I'm to mention it to the police and the landlord. The landlord is going to be keeping a distantly watchful eye on her going forwards.

OP posts:
Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 18/03/2023 10:15

Just for the hell of it, I am going to ask my friend's husband round on a weekend when I know the NDN is going to be around, hopefully a nice sunny weekend day, to look at the front door. He installed all my windows and doors including the door she says that I slam (this is his job, he owns a company fitting doors, windows, conservatories etc) and we are going to do this quite stridently, and if she grumbles, then he can explain what he is doing and why 😏

OP posts:
iknowimcoming · 19/03/2023 00:51

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 18/03/2023 10:15

Just for the hell of it, I am going to ask my friend's husband round on a weekend when I know the NDN is going to be around, hopefully a nice sunny weekend day, to look at the front door. He installed all my windows and doors including the door she says that I slam (this is his job, he owns a company fitting doors, windows, conservatories etc) and we are going to do this quite stridently, and if she grumbles, then he can explain what he is doing and why 😏

That's just antagonising her OP - why would you do that? Maintain the higher ground!

PortiasBiscuit · 19/03/2023 00:54

Buy a drum kit and a saxophone.. take lessons!

MinnieGirl · 19/03/2023 11:01

iknowimcoming · 19/03/2023 00:51

That's just antagonising her OP - why would you do that? Maintain the higher ground!

Show quote history

Yes I agree with that. You have got all the backup you need now, and have been officially told it’s her that’s the problem not you. You don’t need to do anything else at all, and why antagonise the situation. As others have said, take the moral high ground.
Just sit back, live your life and wait for the next batshit comment, note through the door or shouting fit. Then simply inform the police and the landlord. Let them deal with her. I suspect she will get a massive shock when the police knock on her door and tell her she’s been harassing you.. because in her mind you are the villain. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before she does it again….

I do actually have a tiny bit of sympathy for her… as someone else said, if you’ve lived with horrendous noisy neighbours it really does take its toll. But there’s a massive difference between people being total twats and considerate neighbours living their life…. If she wants silence a terraced property is not for her…

NewBootsAndRanty · 19/03/2023 11:06

PortiasBiscuit · 19/03/2023 00:54

Buy a drum kit and a saxophone.. take lessons!

Nah, self-teaching is the way to go here.. maybe focus on freeform jazz?

MinnieGirl · 26/03/2023 14:26

Any updates?
I am far too involved in this post 😂

Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 27/03/2023 10:47

@MinnieGirl No, I haven't heard anything since the note stuffed through the letterbox when the police called. I am still checking myself and panicking I'm too noisy (worried I'd banged the door when I came in from a concert at midnight on Saturday, turned the radio down yesterday afternoon as I could hear it upstairs and thought she would too) but hopefully this is the end of it. I live in hope!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 27/03/2023 10:48

@MinnieGirl Oh, Victim Support contacted me, and gave me some links to some resources.

OP posts:
CaroleSinger · 27/03/2023 13:38

It won't be the end of it unless the police have actually spoken to her. Have they yet?

Verv · 27/03/2023 13:56

Wishihadanalgorithm · 18/12/2022 20:45

Block her. Ignore her when you see her in the street/garden. Do not engage. Ever.

this.

Tiani4 · 27/03/2023 14:23

Yes, I'm to mention it to the police and the landlord. The landlord is going to be keeping a distantly watchful eye on her going forwards.

I think the LL will want to end her contact when s/he can

Deservedly so

She's harassing you and upsetting other neighbours. All over nothing ... just normal living sounds. You must carry on as normal . I suspect the LL will be unhappy you've reported yourself as an alleged noise nuisance - much harder to sell his house in future even if it's unfounded, now that is on record.

LLs often just want good tenants that pay rent, treat houses well AND are respectful to their neighbours, which is not this woman on the third criteria.

Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 27/03/2023 15:23

Tiani4 · 27/03/2023 14:23

Yes, I'm to mention it to the police and the landlord. The landlord is going to be keeping a distantly watchful eye on her going forwards.

I think the LL will want to end her contact when s/he can

Deservedly so

She's harassing you and upsetting other neighbours. All over nothing ... just normal living sounds. You must carry on as normal . I suspect the LL will be unhappy you've reported yourself as an alleged noise nuisance - much harder to sell his house in future even if it's unfounded, now that is on record.

LLs often just want good tenants that pay rent, treat houses well AND are respectful to their neighbours, which is not this woman on the third criteria.

The council said there is no noise nuisance to actually report or deal with as all I am doing is living normally so it wouldn't be on record.

OP posts: