To find adults that don’t swear …

[notcompletingthetodolist]

Kind of odd?

I’m not sayinh you have to swear every sentence because that’s cringe, I’m just saying it’s ok to say “I’ve had a shit day today” or “fuck sake” if you’re annoyed.

I had dinner today with a friend and her friend and they spoke about a “fuck it list” but only said “f it list” … like we’re all adults who shouldn’t be offended by moderate swearing.

(And yes I understand not swearing in front of children, at work or elderly relatives)

I do swear but as I get older I find myself swearing less frequently. I realised it can sound really jarring and coarse when other people swear a lot and I much prefer talking to someone when they don't pepper their speech with fucks.

@RampantIvy

But you just said you did swear when very vexed... That's very different to people who won't ever, ever utter a rude word no matter what.

Why are you so bothered by what other people do? I swear all the time but don’t think anything of people who don’t swear. There’s a way to communicate your feelings without swearing you know?

We swear all the fucking time in our house. I too find adults that don’t ever swear or get weirdly offended by swearing odd 🤪

Oh dear Felicity, it's back to school you go. Maybe a few swear words would improve your grammar.

Having seen a lot of people that swear every other word whilst swigging from a can of lager and barely stringing an intelligible sentence together, I find this hard to believe.

Hilarious, I love a good swear word and I'm well educated. I'm a senior academic with a PhD and my line manager is a well respected professor, we have some fantastically sweary meetings where we put the world to rights!

I don't swear generally. Maybe in the car in my own sometimes! Dh doesn't swear at home either.

I wasn't brought up with swearing at home. My parents didnt really swear at home in front of us. Obviously it's opened at school, and I did with friends when young.

I teach so made a conscious effort not to do so when I first started as it can become easy to slip up. I've seen it happen.

I then worked for a few years in a male prison. For many of the men (prisoners) I worked with swearing was every other word in a sentence, all day everyday. They'd apologise for doing so, but then continue, it was just their normal way of speaking. Some of the staff would talk a similar way back to them. None of it nasty towards one another, but every day talk. And I hated it. It sounded so harsh.

Hearing others swear a bit doesn't bother me. I'm not offended by it, not when it's just done in talking and non aggressively. I hate to hear people swearing around children though.

I know people who swear a fair amount and some I've never heard swear.

Why do you feel the need to swear all the time @ScrabbleChamp64? Not judging, just curious. Are you stressed all the time?

Interestingly, it is fine to use swear words when playing online scrabble, but not some religious words.

what words particularly?
and you find non swearers odd?
i find your reaction odd

Ha. Great MN thread.

Those who don’t swear are ‘uptight’, ‘cardigan crew’, can’t possibly drink much alcohol and are of lower intelligence. And even worse, might be ‘middle middle
class’.

Those who do swear are ‘rough’, ‘common’, ‘vulgar’ and lack a large vocabulary.

My husband swears a lot. Especially if faced with substandard flat pack furniture. I swear much less. The teens have never sworn in front of us, which I find surprising. They really dislike my husband’s gratuitous swearing.

I suspect that unless every other word is fuck, most people are somewhere in the middle of the swearing spectrum and not judging each other. Some of the competitive swearing on this thread is a bit cringe though.

I swear quite a lot, not at work/in public but don't necessarily hide it too much from my kids (they're going to hear it elsewhere, they may as well have some idea how and when to use it!) but I hate the word fart so much. I really struggle to say it and it just feels horrible. Weird, I know.

My mum didn't allow us to say it though and gave us an alternative word so maybe that's why?!

I don’t swear. I find it odd that someone should find that odd.

My mum has never uttered a swear word in her life (that I know of) and she's had plenty to swear about, believe me! I swear from time to time, but I would say the majority of people outside my family haven't heard me. I prefer 'bloody' to 'fucking' though. I tend to use 'fuck' as a reaction, like 'aw fuck' if something crap happens, rather than as an adjective. I do sometimes shout 'ferf' in place of 'for fuck's sake', but more for my own amusement than anything else.

I really don't think drinking and swearing are linked that way!

Of my friends - one of the Ines who I hear swear most doesn't drink alcohol at all. Another who swears more frequently is pretty health conscious and is very moderate with their drinking. Others I know who swear a lot drink lots. My friends who I don't hear swear are a mix of drinkers and moderate drinkers,
So in my own experience, it has no bearing at all.

One of the appealing things about swearing is that the words can have very distinct and satisfying sounds - FuuuuuK, SHiiiiiiT, CUUUnT (or cunTE if we're going Chauncerian), pRRRIIIIcK, SCHeisssSCHHe, PuTAA, PuTAAIn, butTAAAna, for example.

A lot of 'near swears' are the same words, just in a different language or pronunciation, as well - they're not just minced oaths. As we don't live in a homogenous closed society.

There's a world of difference between somebody swearing in your presence and somebody swearing at you. And, in any case, experience tells me that you're far more likely to get punched in the head by somebody like my mother when they don't use profanity; there's nowhere else for the rage to go - like the dog that's going to bite you is the one that's quiet, not the one that's barking/trying to convince you that it's big and hard and will be too tough to fight by shouting at you.

I mainly had in mind people who come on Mumsnet and boast about how pure they are - eg "I've never sworn and I'm 50"

As I say, it reminded me of the competitive non-eaters and drinkers on here.

Whether what they say on here matches reality, I have no idea. I suspect there is more purity spoken than lived.

Well said @SpicyFoodRocks

No need for everyone to sneer at people who do things differently to themselves.

I swear on the odd occasion. I do say things like shit and funking hell but that's about it and avoid saying it in front of the kids. Dh doesn't swear at all. I find it vulgar when every second word is a swearword tbh.

Depends on the time of year ! Haha

I tend to find during the summer holidays, I’m away from school working, and generally relax with how I speak . Especially with friends.

@RampantIvy we aren’t stressed all the time no! I’m not sure we feel the need to swear we just do, and colourfully. Tbh I wasn’t brought up in a sweary house but FIL swears like a sailor and it rubs off on you. I mostly take umbrage with the fact that “swear words” exist, I think it’s ridiculous that someone can be offended by someone else saying “shit” for example.

I find it odd, can’t remember who asked, when people don’t swear AT ALL for the same reason. I truly don’t understand what’s so offensive about “swear words” and I think people who avoid using them intentionally are usually trying to be pious

@RampantIvy also love a rude word scrabble challenge!

But what is the difference between boasting and answering a question ?

I've never sworn and I'm 50 - boasting

I've never sworn and I'm 50 - answering an op's question

I do wonder if some people have either chips on their shoulders or are projecting some issues

But you can say words which are clear replacements for swear words? I’m a teacher and I wouldn’t use swear replacements in front of young people any more than the swear words themselves. I just self sensor until I leave school
To be honest, I thought I did alright using replacement swear words with the young person who threw boiling water from the pan of spaghetti two weeks ago or the one that was jumping in the roof of my colleagues car and spat at us when we tried to restrain him!!! I dont always want to wait until I get home to swear!🤣

Seems like a strange thing to find weird to me.

I don't swear often. Probably only a few times a year in front of other people. I do swear under my breath occasionally when I'm alone. I know loads of people who don't swear - in fact the majority of people I know rarely swear, if at all. I've never heard my husband swear.

Presumably it depends on what is normal for your social group.

It would be unusual in my workplace to swear too. There was a woman who swore all the time - like, every other sentence - and it was really noticeable. I hated it as it was completely unnecessary and made her sound aggressive.

I grew up in a house with hardly any swearing but can't I have followed that to adulthood. Having said that my children are mid teens now and they still don't swear in front of us. I know DD2 does swear around other people but I have yet to hear it from my 16 year old. Some people just don't feel the need to sear. Don't think it's particularly odd.
When my DDs were about 7 and 9 they came back from my parents house really excited because they had heard grandad swear for the first time.