Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find adults that don’t swear …

257 replies

notcompletingthetodolist · 17/12/2022 21:59

Kind of odd?

I’m not sayinh you have to swear every sentence because that’s cringe, I’m just saying it’s ok to say “I’ve had a shit day today” or “fuck sake” if you’re annoyed.

I had dinner today with a friend and her friend and they spoke about a “fuck it list” but only said “f it list” … like we’re all adults who shouldn’t be offended by moderate swearing.

(And yes I understand not swearing in front of children, at work or elderly relatives)

OP posts:
LongBlobson · 18/12/2022 08:25

I have a strange history with swearing.

I was brought up in a strict and religious household where even saying 'oh my god' would lead to a telling off. I was once overheard saying 'shit' in a convo with a younger sibling when we were both teenagers and I was called in for a full on shouty lecture. It was mad - as far as I can remember I was being supportive to them and said sth like 'that's really shit' - wasn't like I was being rude or aggressive with it.

It's left me feeling really self-conscious about swearing. I have never been bothered by other people swearing though. I admire someone who can have a good swear tbh. However I do find others notice that I don't, and judge me and think they need to censor their language around me which is such a frustrating misreading of me.

To top it off, my kids now really disapprove of swearing. I recently got told off by a 10yo for describing the house as having 'crap lying around everywhere'. 'Crap' isn't even a swear word to most people I don't think?

I look forward to one day living in a house where I can swear freely!

Marmitepot · 18/12/2022 08:26

I think it’s impossible not to swear when you stub your toe.

Willmafrockfit · 18/12/2022 08:26

when i was 11 or 12 a friend said You Never Swear to me, as if it was a Bad thing,
but @notcompletingthetodolist you are a grown up still making the same accusations

NoNameNowAgain · 18/12/2022 08:29

Willmafrockfit · 18/12/2022 08:26

when i was 11 or 12 a friend said You Never Swear to me, as if it was a Bad thing,
but @notcompletingthetodolist you are a grown up still making the same accusations

Ah! That’s interesting. Too much formality can seem unfriendly.
Did you swear with other friends?

Tuilpmouse · 18/12/2022 08:31

@Krakenwakes

How would that be related to not swearing?

I'm guessing because @GreenEmeraldSea senses, as I do, that those who never swear are generally rather uptight and puritanical in their outlook.

Of course that's a generalisation, but my hunch is that there's a strong correlation between those that don't swear and being restrained generally, whether that's being very careful in how much they drink or not being especially adventurous when it comes to sex. For instance, I can't imagine someone who frequents drunken swingers parties would be coy over uttering the word "fuck".

HavfrueDenizKisi · 18/12/2022 08:32

FelicityFlops · 18/12/2022 01:55

Thanks to my upbringing and education I have a sufficiently large enough vocabulary to be able to express myself in several languages with resorting to expletives.

Yeah bollocks to that.

Anyway several studies have shown searing shows higher intelligence and also helps with pain management.

amp.cnn.com/cnn/2021/01/26/health/swearing-benefits-wellness/index.html

HavfrueDenizKisi · 18/12/2022 08:32

*swearing

Ponoka7 · 18/12/2022 08:33

Grendalsmum · 17/12/2022 22:02

I used to work with someone who said "sugar" and "fudge" - what's the point? It's so mimsy!

I do that because I don't want to swear around my GC, 8 & 5. I swear as a stress reliever. I was very stressed and anxious (often just getting out on tim etc) during the menopause from when my eldest GC was around 1, so I switched the words. I'd got out of habit of swearing because of work. I'd nearly slipped up a few times and it would have been gross misconduct. I hate that supermarket staff now seems to be allowed to swear in work, it isn't nice when shopping with children.

Willmafrockfit · 18/12/2022 08:33

NoNameNowAgain · 18/12/2022 08:29

Ah! That’s interesting. Too much formality can seem unfriendly.
Did you swear with other friends?

Show quote history

not at that age.

in fact i would have to be really riled to say fuck

Tuilpmouse · 18/12/2022 08:34

@RampantIvy

Exactly. All my non sweary friends enjoy a lot more than a thimbleful of sherry.

Perhaps, but I bet they are also very responsible about their drinking too.... they'll of course have more than a "thimble" but no more than a "few".

Willmafrockfit · 18/12/2022 08:34

at the age of 4 dd loved using the word Fuck,
she didnt learn that from me!
it was a tough time trying to persuade her not to

LuciferRising · 18/12/2022 08:34

gogohmm · 17/12/2022 23:45

I was brought up to use a varied vocabulary, I have plenty of options at my disposal other than the limited palate of swear words you mentioned

This is a load of crap. People say this but when the moment calls for a swear word, they don't spout poetry, they say 'oh sugar' or similar. Perfectly fine BTW.

I have plenty of options at my disposal too, as do most people, but I prefer to say fuck when needed. Clear and concise.

Spendonsend · 18/12/2022 08:34

You have to keep swearing a bit taboo or it ceases to work. It just becomes a word.

Baconand · 18/12/2022 08:35

I swear like a sailor but not at work.
DH is also sweary although has worked in broadcasting so is also able to switch it off easily.
I try very hard not to swear in front of DD although the odd one has slipped out in the car. Eg whole herd of deer ran out in road in the freezing fog yesterday. How we didn’t crash in to them I’ve no idea. Several Fucks were uttered instinctively.
I think most of my acquaintance are sweary, and DH’s too. His side has aristocratic history so he’s of properly posh stock and went to well known public school. My origins are more typically lower middle class. Both well educated though.

RampantIvy · 18/12/2022 08:36

Marmitepot · 18/12/2022 08:26

I think it’s impossible not to swear when you stub your toe.

So true Grin

those who never swear are generally rather uptight and puritanical in their outlook.

So untrue. I stated earlier that it is just habit, and one that can be broken. I used to swear a lot at school to fit in. When I left school I was socially aware enough to realise that most people don't swear all the time at work (not in any of the jobs I had anyway), so I learned to moderate my language, so now I only swear when really vexed.

Willmafrockfit · 18/12/2022 08:38

i agree @RampantIvy
swearing at school to fit in, hence my friend accusing me of never swearing at the age of 11/12

Willmafrockfit · 18/12/2022 08:38

i dont like swearing from colleagues or family or friends.

loislovesstewie · 18/12/2022 08:39

We weren't allowed to write what a customer had said to us. We could say that 'they swore profusely' but not the actual words.

Greydogs123 · 18/12/2022 08:42

I Never swear - even as a teenager I didn’t swear. I was brought up in a religious family, so I didn’t know anyone who swore, those words were simply not on my radar and in secondary it simply felt unnatural if I tried swearing. The occasional “shit” to
myself is about as much as I’ve ever done. In fact, as an adult I still don’t actually come into contact with many people who swear casually in conversation. Nothing religious, though, now.

NoNameNowAgain · 18/12/2022 08:42

Spendonsend · 18/12/2022 08:34

You have to keep swearing a bit taboo or it ceases to work. It just becomes a word.

Yes. Stephen Fry and Brian Blessed demonstrated that its pain relief effect wears off if you swear too much.

Willmafrockfit · 18/12/2022 08:43

i stopped watching billy connolly because he said Fuck all the time.

NoNameNowAgain · 18/12/2022 08:45

Greydogs123 · 18/12/2022 08:42

I Never swear - even as a teenager I didn’t swear. I was brought up in a religious family, so I didn’t know anyone who swore, those words were simply not on my radar and in secondary it simply felt unnatural if I tried swearing. The occasional “shit” to
myself is about as much as I’ve ever done. In fact, as an adult I still don’t actually come into contact with many people who swear casually in conversation. Nothing religious, though, now.

Some people are really bad at swearing and make me cringe. If it doesn’t come naturally it’s probably best not to bother.

Tuilpmouse · 18/12/2022 08:46

getalifesonny · 17/12/2022 23:55

Trust me language is more colourful when you don't swear. You can insult someone in many creative ways that can hurt them to the dept of their souls without swearing.

So it's fine to hurt someone to the depths of their souls (wtaf!?) but wrong to say "fuck" when you stub your toe.... some very warped sensibilities there!

WickedWangoCard · 18/12/2022 08:47

notcompletingthetodolist · 17/12/2022 22:20

That’s exceptionally weird that you’ve never once said a swear word. Have you lived a very sheltered life?

Show quote history

Weird comment. Have you just started a thread so you can have a pop at people? Are you always this unsatisfied with what's going on in your own life?

LuciferRising · 18/12/2022 08:49

Tuilpmouse · 18/12/2022 08:46

So it's fine to hurt someone to the depths of their souls (wtaf!?) but wrong to say "fuck" when you stub your toe.... some very warped sensibilities there!

Show quote history

I swear. Can't say I'd use it to someones face as an insult. I don't swear that way.

Swipe left for the next trending thread