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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find adults that don’t swear …

257 replies

notcompletingthetodolist · 17/12/2022 21:59

Kind of odd?

I’m not sayinh you have to swear every sentence because that’s cringe, I’m just saying it’s ok to say “I’ve had a shit day today” or “fuck sake” if you’re annoyed.

I had dinner today with a friend and her friend and they spoke about a “fuck it list” but only said “f it list” … like we’re all adults who shouldn’t be offended by moderate swearing.

(And yes I understand not swearing in front of children, at work or elderly relatives)

OP posts:
rainbowandglitter · 17/12/2022 22:52

I absolutely hate swearing and have never said even one swear word ever in my life.

86Emily · 17/12/2022 22:52

I don't really swear, occasionally when alone in the car or once or twice to colleagues, never in front of patients, when I have been exceptionally angry or frustrated about something, the odd swear word has slipped out. I grew up around searing adults. I don't judge others for swearing, I just don't feel comfortable swearing myself. I feel I can express myself perfectly well without the use of swear words.

And I'm afraid I am one of those twee ones with the use of words like oopsie or gosh.

LolaMoon · 17/12/2022 22:53

I do swear but I find it weirder when people swear constantly. If you swear all the time it loses it’s impact and makes you look like you can’t express yourself properly which is a really unattractive quality

harrassedmumto3 · 17/12/2022 22:53

YANBU.

GarlicCrackers · 17/12/2022 22:55

My mum doesn't swear, she never has her in her life.

I on the other hand swear as much as I use the word "the"

harrassedmumto3 · 17/12/2022 22:56

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 17/12/2022 22:11

I do swear and love a good sweary rant but I hate hate hate people swearing out in public during the day around kids. I was on the bus with my 8 yr old the other week and the man in front was on his phone having a really loud conversation with every other word being 'fuck'. It was completely unnecessary and unpleasant to have to listen to.

I'm with you there. It's horrible to listen to in front of kids.
I may swear, but I'm old-fashioned about it. Never in front of kids, randoms on the bus, etc. People who can't self-censor are common and vulgar.

Saltywalruss · 17/12/2022 22:56

BellePeppa · 17/12/2022 22:46

I must admit I drop the f word quite a lot. Not in an aggressive way but just things like fuck it or what the fuck etc. i even find I use the c word far more than I ever used to. I quite like swearing but I don’t approve of people swearing in public.

Isn't it strange that the worst swear words are sexual? As if genitals and sex are really awful things.

Sunbird24 · 17/12/2022 22:58

I don’t swear very much at all except on the Masterchef thread on here, Fuck off Gregggg so it definitely gets people’s attention in real life when I do as they know I’m either really angry or upset. I don’t particularly care whether other people do or not, other than where it’s obviously inappropriate. Probably couldn’t be in a relationship with a guy who dropped an expletive every other word though.

Elerandooo · 17/12/2022 23:01

We have a toddler who is currently repeating every word we say. It’s so bloody hard not to swear! Especially when he’s usually the one making me want to swear!

FurryDandelionSeekingMissile · 17/12/2022 23:10

For those who really don't swear AT ALL, ever, could you answer a question for me? It's not facetious or anything, I really am intrigued and want to know the answer…

Say you've spent three days making an incredibly elaborate and complex cake, in a multi-stage process with expensive ingredients. It's finally finished, and you're carrying it through from the kitchen ready for the special party this evening. You've almost reached the table where it's going to take pride of place as the centerpiece of the party, when you agonisingly stub your toe on some furniture and the cake goes flying, splattering buttercream and crumbs and hard-to-clean components everywhere.

As the hot pain shoots up your leg and you struggle to retain your balance while watching all your hard work turn into one huge cleaning job, what comes out of your mouth?

Herejustforthisone · 17/12/2022 23:10

I love swearing. They’re fantastically emphatic words. Like all powerful things, they can’t be overused or they lose impetus. Nothing beats a choice and well placed swear word. I must admit to finding those who don’t swear to be rather square and mimsy, to use a PP’s excellent word.

Herejustforthisone · 17/12/2022 23:11

FurryDandelionSeekingMissile · 17/12/2022 23:10

For those who really don't swear AT ALL, ever, could you answer a question for me? It's not facetious or anything, I really am intrigued and want to know the answer…

Say you've spent three days making an incredibly elaborate and complex cake, in a multi-stage process with expensive ingredients. It's finally finished, and you're carrying it through from the kitchen ready for the special party this evening. You've almost reached the table where it's going to take pride of place as the centerpiece of the party, when you agonisingly stub your toe on some furniture and the cake goes flying, splattering buttercream and crumbs and hard-to-clean components everywhere.

As the hot pain shoots up your leg and you struggle to retain your balance while watching all your hard work turn into one huge cleaning job, what comes out of your mouth?

Oh heck.

rainbowandglitter · 17/12/2022 23:12

FurryDandelionSeekingMissile · 17/12/2022 23:10

For those who really don't swear AT ALL, ever, could you answer a question for me? It's not facetious or anything, I really am intrigued and want to know the answer…

Say you've spent three days making an incredibly elaborate and complex cake, in a multi-stage process with expensive ingredients. It's finally finished, and you're carrying it through from the kitchen ready for the special party this evening. You've almost reached the table where it's going to take pride of place as the centerpiece of the party, when you agonisingly stub your toe on some furniture and the cake goes flying, splattering buttercream and crumbs and hard-to-clean components everywhere.

As the hot pain shoots up your leg and you struggle to retain your balance while watching all your hard work turn into one huge cleaning job, what comes out of your mouth?

'For god sake' probably

FurryDandelionSeekingMissile · 17/12/2022 23:13

Herejustforthisone · 17/12/2022 23:11

Oh heck.

Show quote history

Really? I'm kind of impressed… does that give you the same sense of relief of tension that swearing would give me in that situation?

GLADragss · 17/12/2022 23:15

It depends. I work with the public and honestly I hate it when they casually scatter “fucking” in every sentence. It feels disrespectful even if I’m not the intended recipient of the swear eg “I can’t fucking remember my address, wait there whilst I check”

My friends/partner/family say “wtf” or “ffs” but there’s definitely not that casual scattering of swearing in every sentence. I couldn’t stand that but probably because it reminds me of work.

Herejustforthisone · 17/12/2022 23:16

FurryDandelionSeekingMissile · 17/12/2022 23:13

Really? I'm kind of impressed… does that give you the same sense of relief of tension that swearing would give me in that situation?

Show quote history

God no. I’m messing. I’d shout, at the top of my lungs, “you absolute fucking CUNT,” and then for good measure I’d launch whatever the stupid fucking twatty bollocking cake had been sitting on at the wall.

FurryDandelionSeekingMissile · 17/12/2022 23:19

Herejustforthisone · 17/12/2022 23:16

God no. I’m messing. I’d shout, at the top of my lungs, “you absolute fucking CUNT,” and then for good measure I’d launch whatever the stupid fucking twatty bollocking cake had been sitting on at the wall.

Show quote history

Grin Now that's tension relief.

RishisProudMum · 17/12/2022 23:19

Eatentoomanyroses · 17/12/2022 22:23

I swear and my husband tells me off. Ironic because he’s usually the one making me bloody swear

🤣🤣🤣

Superfrog3 · 17/12/2022 23:20

I swear and it confuses me when people look down on people who swear. I get preference and people having their own opinions but swearing doesn't make somebody less than. Words are about expression and sometimes a swear word is the perfect word to describe emotion/feelings. Also if you use words like sugar or fudge you mean the same thing so dont see that as any better you might as well have just sworn🤔

I don't do it in front of kids though because they don't understand the impact of words yet. And my 6 year old calling me a c*nt ( which he 100% would) just doesn't sit right with me 😂😂😂

Baguette2021 · 17/12/2022 23:22

www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/science-swearing-profanity-curse-emma-byrne

"...new research reveals that profanity has many positive virtues, from promoting trust and teamwork in the office to increasing our tolerance to pain."

RishisProudMum · 17/12/2022 23:23

WimpoleHat · 17/12/2022 22:05

I think it’s a real class marker. And it’s a subtle knife, funnily enough! Middle middle class people are often horrified by swearing and look down on it as “common”. Yet it then flips when you get to very highly educated people (particularly in City/commercial circles), for whom it’s almost a sign of personal confidence. I think it’s particularly true when it comes to women as well. One of those “tribal markers”.

I’ve also found this!

The not swearing thing has always struck me as very faux genteel. Middle middle class anxiety from the cardigan crew. But also, the aspirational working class manners with the emphasis on being ‘nice’ and ‘ladylike’.

The posher the person, the more creative the swearing, generally. 😂

Bepis · 17/12/2022 23:24

I don't swear full stop, I can't stand it. Also my religion doesn't permit me to use bad language.

Abcdefgh1234 · 17/12/2022 23:27

I never swear. My family never swear. My children also never swear. I have to say sorry for this but people who swear, for me they sounds uneducated.

RishisProudMum · 17/12/2022 23:28

Krakenwakes · 17/12/2022 22:33

Swearing makes me feel scared -it’s like flashing knives and daggers. It’s completely alien to me.

Show quote history

If your DH swears a lot, then it’s clearly not completely alien to you, though. And, you’re saying that every time your husband swears, you’re genuinely frightened as though he was wielding a knife? WTF?!

Bepis · 17/12/2022 23:31

Abcdefgh1234 · 17/12/2022 23:27

I never swear. My family never swear. My children also never swear. I have to say sorry for this but people who swear, for me they sounds uneducated.

I do agree with this. There are far better words to use. I raised my children to not swear and I have never sworn around them but at their ages, they do swear (not around me though). DH swears around me and I don't like it.