Sitting with my dying dad - this is so unfair

[thegreenlight]

Just that - it’s so cruel. My mum and I just have to sit here and wait for everything to fail. He was given 24-48 hours yesterday. It’s torture.

So sorry OP. X

I’m sure it feels like torture, and I get that it must be traumatic, but my dad dropped dead of a heart attack last month and it was 24 hours before he was found. Try to appreciate the fact that you get to say goodbye, and take comfort in the knowledge that he won’t die alone.

I've been there too with my dad in icu in 2007. It's very hard. Looking back now, I think he knew I had to leave briefly to sort my son, and he chose to go then. With the benefit of long hindsight, I think he was waiting until I wasn't there to see the end, it was just him and my mum. I think there's more awareness than the nurses tell you.

It is the worst experience anyone has to go through, watching a loved one die. I had to do this a few years ago. But I am so thankful I had the opportunity to be there and hold my father's hand as he slipped away. I had to fly 8 hours to be with him and glad I made the judgement call to go home. It took days for my dad to pass and it was terrible to watch him suffer. I had a spur of the moment thought as he lie in the hospital bed. I told him when he passes to the other side to give me a sign and suddenly, I thought of a shooting star. I asked him to show me a shooting start and this was in front of my mother and sister. The day he passed, we went home and at night sat outside looking up to the dark sky filled with stars and within minutes we saw two shooting stars go by, one after the other. I would not have believed it if my mother was not with me when we saw the shooting stars go by and when in the hospital asking my dad for this sign. In all my life I never saw a shooting star in my country and I spent many times gazing up at the stars, so it was a real miracle this happened. I truly believe it was my father letting me know he was okay.

Sending love OP.

you are very lucky to have had such a wonderful father. Hopefully that is of some comfort to you when you’re facing what’s to come xx

I’m so so sorry OP.
Not that it helps you in the slightest right now, but I’d give anything to have been able to be there when mum passed. I should have been, I couldn’t be, it’s one of my biggest regrets. I’m so sad you’re in this situation but what a beautiful thing you are doing. Sending love ❤️

So sorry x

It's so hard but so good that you can be with him to the end.

So sorry Op, your dad sounds like a lovely chap x

Your dear dad is so lucky to have you with him right now. I believe he knows you are there and is comforted by that. Sending you love and strength. 🌹

I’ve been in your seat.

Your beautiful dad was with you when you started your life. Now you are with him when he ends his. Amazing circle of life xxx

I’m so sorry you and your family are going through this now. I hope your father’s passing is peaceful and I’m sure he is comforted by your love. You sound like a wonderful family. God bless x

I am so sorry. It's so hard. Sending a handhold - I've been there. I second talking to him about the good times you had as a family.

I am so sorry.

Your dad sounds like a lovely man. It's lovely that you are able to be there with him. I lost my dad 5 years ago now, he wasted away over 6 months and it was awful to see but he faced his own death with such courage. I was glad we had the time to talk in the weeks before he died. Unfortunately he waited until he was alone before he let go so there was no one holding his hand but I think that must have been what he needed.

Sending you so much love, I’m sorry you are facing this 💐

I'm so sorry, my Sister and I were in your position 7 weeks ago. He will know you are there and it will be a great comfort to him. Talk to him, hold his hand. A few weeks before he died, my Dad told me that when his time came, he wanted to die in hospital with his daughters by his side, he got the death he wanted, very grateful for that. Sending you lots of love and strength.

So sorry OP, I did the same a few months ago and it was so awful :( My Dad was such a wonderful person, he was cracking jokes right until the end, trying to make US all feel better :(

I found it a profoundly moving experience being with my dad while he was dying. Sitting by his hospital bed, holding his hand, recalling memories of our family life (perhaps more sour than sweet) and chatting to him (he wasn't responsive - too drugged up on morphine). Myself, my mother and my daughter took turns, so he was never alone in the 5 days before he died. I felt grateful to be able to say goodbye and to have the opportunity to slowly make peace with his dying- something denied to many. It was a painful but deeply spiritual and beautiful expereince.

I am so sorry, it's a horrible situation nothing can make it any easier. I am sure that knowing you were that at the end will bring you some comfort.

Have been there - it's heartbreaking, exhausting & so precious. Just being able to hold his hand is such a blessing. Being on here was really comforting when I was with my daddy, because others had been there and understood all. Sending a hug xx

I'm so sorry. Much love and strength to you and your mum, your dad sounds a great man.

So so sorry

Your poor dad xxxxxxx