To think this is (yet another) bad day for women?

[Livingtothefull]

On the same day that the male perpetrator is jailed for life for the particularly brutal murder of Megan Newborough, the victims of yet another murder in Kettering are named - a nurse and her two young children. A 52-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of murder.

AIBU to be saddened, sickened and angered by this? Will it ever end, this catalogue of male violence against women and children?

No I wasn’t. You just don’t know history. 🤷‍♀️

I think @TruckerBarbie and the Cuppasoup poster on the FWR thread about the same murder must the the same person with a name change. The same (nonsense) stats thrown about and endless NAMALT and whataboutery.

If we can ditch the NAMALT bingo cards, yes, it's a horrible tragedy and I think that short ad campaign calling out male agression was far too little to bring things to public attention.

If men (and their handmaid apologists) feel uncomfortable when we point out the actual facts of murder, violence and sexual abuse perhaps they could direct that discomfort at the members oif their cohort standing bywhile it happens, not the women shining a light on it.

Couldn't agree more @HiccupHorrendousHaddock

I agree @OlympicProcrastinator ALSO, and I think I speak for many women here. .. MOST women, (the VAST majority,) HAVE experienced some kind of trauma/bad experience/sexual assault/sexual harassment from an entitled, aggressive, misogynistic, violent man at LEAST once in their life. So I think this individual you are responding to needs a fucking reality check, because MOST WOMEN have the right to be very fucking angry towards men.

And the very idea that all the women on here complaining are middle class white feminists, makes it more obvious the poster you were responding to is a man. No woman I have ever seen/known/known of/met would ever speak like this person.

I am not naming the poster. They are not worthy of me mentioning their name.

I also agree with @HiccupHorrendousHaddock With your whole post a couple of posts up ^ AND about THAT poster!

As usual, she is absolutely spot on.

@PurpleButterflyWings thank you for your solidarity. I agree with everything you’ve said.

😘

MA's quote is brilliant isn't it? And so apt!

I am not a man hater thank you very much. With a DH and a DS (I am the only woman in my household) and a DF and DBs, it would be very difficult for me if I were.

I know that most men aren't violent. But there is a significant minority of men who are, and tbh a further number who have problematic attitudes towards women.. that is apparent from my lived experience and that of every other woman I have spoken to. So I have no choice but to be wary of all men because unfortunately, the threat lies there.

It is distasteful to read certain posters claiming that only 'man-haters' and 'privileged white women' on MN think like this. It is even more distasteful to have it compared with racism - racism is grounded in irrational prejudice whereas women's wariness of men is grounded in fact.

I would much rather not think like this however am forced to do so due to my memories of countless negative and scary experiences - together with the regular news headlines announcing that yet another woman has been killed or victimised.

4w.pub/society-prefers-dead-women/

Interesting read.

Indeed @Charley50 that is a really good article, the premise though is chilling.

www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2022/03/08/sheryl-sandberg-says-female-leaders-dont-go-to-war-heres-what-research-says/?sh=52d89aed1fa7

Authors of the book Why Leaders Fight analyzed every world leader from 1875 to 2004 and statistically examined gender differences in military aggression. They found that 36% of the female leaders initiated at least one militarized dispute, while only 30% of male leaders did the same. The authors say, “This does not mean that women are generally more aggressive, however. Men were responsible for 694 acts of aggression and 86 wars while women were responsible for just 13 acts of aggression and only one war (Indira Gandhi).”

Thanks for the link @AdamRyan . I don't see why we should have to have our intelligence insulted by claims that women are just as aggressive as men. We all know it is not true.

Now we have Jeremy Clarkson making vile comments about Meghan Markle and the vicious things he dreams about happening to her. Why is it even acceptable to print misogynistic hate speech like this, fantasising about degrading and demeaning a woman?

It increases the risk both to MM and to all women imo, at a time there is an epidemic of real life violence against women.

Ugh. I just read it. So offensive. And as if MM has that power of the RF.

Personally I think JC hates her because he can't stand the thought he can't attract women like that. He's horrid.

Jill Barclay from Aberdeen..... Another horrific case. She was targeted by a stranger, followed on her way home from a night out and murdered.

I just thought the same. He wants to humiliate her because she is above him in every way - wealth, status and sex appeal so he knows he can't have her. Desirable, inaccessible women enrage men like Clarkson.

I've no idea who that other poster is.

When you talk about men 'standing by', I'm not sure how you think any male is going to be able to intervene or prevent a violent incident that happens behind closed doors.

If my partner is sitting watching a film with me he has no control over the guy three streets down who's about to attack his wife. With millions of men in this country alone its impossible to police what they all do in the privacy of their homes. Furthermore, no man is responsible for the actions of another.

Alcohol is also a big factor in DV and in many cases the violence is bidirectional. I've had neighbours before that used to have violent arguments. I remember one couple that would come home most fri/sat nights with bags full of booze.

Without fail the shouting would start a couple hours later. Almost always the woman first but then eventually the bloke would lose it and start smashing things sometimes. I'd not have been one bit surprised if he'd seriously injured her one day.

But at no point did I feel that either me or my partner had any responsibility for them for sharing the same sex. It's an absurd idea to me personally.

Of course, it’s always the woman that starts it 🙄

Meanwhile, the police discover another woman killed by a man, in Hackney, London. 🙁

Why would it surprise you? A fair few studies have found that non reciprocal DV is more commonly perpetrated by women - 70% in two studies I've read.

There are loads of violent women out there. Certainly more than there are male murderers.