To think this is (yet another) bad day for women?

[Livingtothefull]

On the same day that the male perpetrator is jailed for life for the particularly brutal murder of Megan Newborough, the victims of yet another murder in Kettering are named - a nurse and her two young children. A 52-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of murder.

AIBU to be saddened, sickened and angered by this? Will it ever end, this catalogue of male violence against women and children?

Yes this is true. Our society is still very violent because we also still want men capable of killing if necessary. Russia invading Ukraine…where would Ukraine be if there were not men and women (but mostly men), capable of killing other human beings? They’d be part of Russia.

So as a society, we are not truly invested in eliminating violence or the capability for it. We fear that pacifism will make us weak and therefore be conquered again.

So we dont raise boys to be men who cannot kill. We just don’t. And we accept a bit of infighting and murder as the lesser of two evils.

Not saying this is right. But this is our society. And movies still worship the “action hero” where the only thing that has really changed is there are now a good number of “action heroines” racking up dead “bad guys” over the course of a film.

That’s why I and so many simply accept that a certain level of murder and mayhem as part of life.

But it's not part of your life unless you're one of the 0.0003%. I don't accept cancer as part of my life because I don't have cancer.

This is a very telling statement. You’re not female are you?

I knew it wouldn't take long. 😂 Because a woman could never disagree with a feminist (even though over 90% aren't feminists).

I think we do need to start laughing at these male perpetrators. The infantilisation of women is a large part of the problem, yet the elephant in the room is the temper tantrums of many men. The inability to regulate their emotions sufficiently to keep their hands and abusive mouths to themselves.

Exactly.

When posters say 'we' need to do something about the plight of women in Afghanistan/Ukraine/etc, who do you think they mean? Men of course.

TruckerBarbie · Today 10:04
That’s why I and so many simply accept that a certain level of murder and mayhem as part of life.

But it's not part of your life unless you're one of the 0.0003%. I don't accept cancer as part of my life because I don't have cancer.

Well it is, because violence in society affects everyone. It ripples outwards from the victim to their family to friends to colleagues to neighbours and so on.

I knew it wouldn't take long. 😂 Because a woman could never disagree with a feminist (even though over 90% aren't feminists

No, because a woman would share our mutual experience and wouldn’t minimise it as scaremongering. And label women who come together to discuss male violence as ‘feminists’
when nobody has made that claim.

Then had a little strop because we didn’t speak in a way that would centre mens feelings in the conversation.

And who is it creating problems in Afghanistan and Ukraine? Can you bring yourself to say men for that question too, or would the truth there be too mean?

So you have to experience something personally for you to understand the problem and impact of such a thing. Right 😂

Oh how I would love to live so simplistically! Bless you.

And what do men like to do when invading another country? Lots of rape of course, even of 4 year old children.
www.express.co.uk/news/world/1710021/russia-soldiers-rape-sexual-assault-children-ukraine-justice

There's a very deep rooted narrative in human psyches that make us belive that men are valuable not as people but as tools and women are valuable not as people but as child bearers. Therefore men are expendable and women need locked away and protected.

Where is your proof that men are seen as expendable?

Or that men are not seen as people? The over representation of men in media and politics indicates this is not true.

It’s such a vague claim to make, that men are viewed as expendable, without any evidence to back it up.

These threads are always like MRA flying monkey bingo. Women come together on what (at least used to be) a predominantly female site to discuss male on female violence. These days we have the predictable;

NAMALT,

Women, black people, Muslims, (bring in any other oppressed group you fancy) do X,Y,Z for distraction & derailment.

“You are all crazy / hysterical feminists”

“Do some research / educate yourself”

“This discussion isn’t centring mens feelings and that’s a really bad thing”

Women talking about male violence makes them ‘men haters’.

Pretty much a full house today.

@Velvian but these abusive men could control their tempers, if they wanted. they dont assault their mums,sisters or bosses

Abuse stems from control and entitlement, not inability to regulate emotions

Thing is, outside of the approx 0.0003% of men that murder, the rest is less clear. More recent studies suggest that men massively under report DV and that when you ask women if they've ever hit their partner the number is higher than the number of men who'll admit they've been victims.

This was discussed recently at length so I'll try and find the thread.

@OlympicProcrastinator and to add:

It's only 0.00000000000353% of the wonderful male population of a whole who actually murder women so what's the problem?!

Surely “good” men should be onside already . “Good “ men know what the score is because “ good” men live in our communities and see and hear how women are treated and “good” men should be able to recognise abuse when it happens.

So it is not up to women to get “good” men onside, the “ good” men should be doing that for themselves , by calling out the behaviour by other men that they know is unacceptable, by teaching their sons , nephews, pupils about respect, by challenging the “bad” men and making it clear that aggressive language , actions and attitudes towards women are unacceptable wherever they occur be it homes, schools, workplaces, colleges, sports grounds, pubs, transport, places of worship, community and communal spaces.

But it's also situational. You don't have regular heated arguments with your boss like many couples do.

Why? This thread is about male violence, why is that so uncomfortable for you? Why do you need to minimise and pretend women are just as bad? It’s kind of fascinating to watch a woman desperately try to bury her head in the sand over this issue, I can’t help but wonder what drives someone like that. Bizarre.

If ‘couples’ have these arguments, why is it generally men who escalate it to violence and not women? Men are also violent towards their elderly parents, children - any vulnerable parties. Why don’t woman regularly grab a pan and crack their stupid skulls open?

@NeedToChangeName , I agree that there is a definite element of righteousness (delivering warranted punishment) and entitlement. Loss oss of control is perhaps a separate element.

Asking again, why do you feel the need to state this in a thread where women want to discuss male violence towards them?

Why don't you start your own thread about how poor men are being persecuted at the hands of women?

And a separate website, please. Get tf out of here and let us speak our truth in peace.

What's the point of having a discussion based on unnaccurate facts?

It’s based on *inaccurate *type of people. Bye

Please explain what inaccurate facts were in the OP.

@TruckerBarbie

Many people have unreasonable bosses, but dont shout at them, for fear of losing their job. Of course we can all contain our temper when we really want to

You appear to suggest that it's understandable /acceptable for disagreements between couples to escalate to abuse

We may have to agree to disagree on that