To think this is (yet another) bad day for women?

[Livingtothefull]

On the same day that the male perpetrator is jailed for life for the particularly brutal murder of Megan Newborough, the victims of yet another murder in Kettering are named - a nurse and her two young children. A 52-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of murder.

AIBU to be saddened, sickened and angered by this? Will it ever end, this catalogue of male violence against women and children?

In terms of murder, men are 3x more likely to be murdered than women in general.

Exactly! So why aren’t men up in arms about male-on-male violence?

Why do we stop our daughters going out and not our sons?

I've explained this multiple times.

The above is fine. What's not fine is using it to stereotype allmen.

Same with black on black violence. It's fine to name it. It's not fine to stereotype black people.

Usually the response on here is something like 'aw, poor menz'. Average bloke is just going to switch off and that's not a good thing.

@TruckerBarbie NOONE is saying it's ALL MEN. You have peddled this nonsense from the start. It's a lot of men, too many men. Much more so than women and it's a problem.

I'm thinking you're a man.

Laziness would be worse for humanity in general. Violence as a trait has it's uses to society, which is probably the root of the problem.

As long as violence is required in society then there will be overspill that results in murder.

Do you have children Trucker? Presumably you aren’t bringing them up with your mothers values.

How do you talk to them about violence, about keeping themselves safe, about red flags to look for in partners ? Is there a difference between how you would talk to female children about violence than male children? Would you for example tell a male child how to ask for help if they thought they were being followed, or harassed in a public place, and how would this advice differ from the advice you would give a female child.

Murder is tragically the end result of many layers of verbal , intimidating and physical acts of violence that women are subjected to, often from a disturbingly early age. For most women the violence and aggression stops well short of murder, but as several horrendous murders have show us this year there is little protection against random attacks when a violent man selects a victim based solely on proximity. And it appears that many of the perpetrators of these crimes have a long history of”lesser” abusive offences which have often been ignored or dismissed , an observer from another planet might conclude that women in our society are seen as valid targets for male aggression.

Because the statistical risk of being one of those 0.0003% is almost non existent. Most women only worry about it because of scaremongering. Really, we should be far more scared of driving to work.

My grandpa on my father’s side told my father he needs to smack my mother nice and early in their marriage so she knows her place and doesn’t become on of those ‘confident, outspoken wives’. 2 of my sisters were beaten by husband / boyfriend repeatedly, with hospitalisation needed. One of them had her head shaved and locked naked in a balcony in the winter. My cousin and I were dragged to a slow running car in an attempted kidnap in the afternoon aged 13 while we were having ice cream on the way home. The guy who intervened was stabbed. I could continue for pages and I don’t know a single female who hasn’t had a violent experience caused by a male. It’s not isolated cases and as few others said it’s not about murder.

Average bloke is just going to switch off and that's not a good thing

Its ok. Not all discussions need to centre mens feelings.

People don't just start murdering others because their mother forgot to tell them it was wrong. 😂

Well, men are literally “up in arms about male violence” which is why the cycle of violence continues. What we need is for men to not be up in arms about male violence. Much violence is of a retaliatory and escalatory nature.

Indeed

the common factor is the sex of the perpetrators of violence - men are attacked by men, women are attacked by men

it’s men

Most women only worry about it because of scaremongering

This is a very telling statement. You’re not female are you?
No most of us worry because we’ve grown up with a constant, steady stream of harassment, intimidation, sexual assault and sometimes violence. The ‘drip drip’ of misogyny that affects our daily lives. Our lived experiences. Not ‘scaremongering’ 🙄

Do keep up. This was covered on page 1 of the thread. The conversation had moved on to fear of men.

So you'd rather actively make the problem worse than try and get good men onside?

That's sadly the impression I get from most people heavily invested in hating on another demographic.

So women talking about male violence are bigoted? Are you fucking serious? It’s not only murder, it’s violence, rape and sexual abuse too. But no, you keep caping for violent men and calling women bigoted to shut them up 🙄

That's sadly the impression I get from most people heavily invested in hating on another demographic.

A 'selection' of that demographic.

Are you suggesting women have to be ever so kind and sweet to get the GOOD men to give a shit about violence men use against us? Wow.

Well tbh it is a bit of scaremongering too. The media doesn’t publish reports of murder victims in porportion to actual demographics. Men over 18 are hardly ever mentioned and they are the #1 demographic of murder victims. The way they report it is also biased, implying every stabbing or shooting is of a criminal man in a deal gone wrong situation.

There is also a well studied “white woman” bias where white women are over-represented in the media in terms of murder (or missing person) coverage. So if you go years of only seeing the faces of women like you, then your “gut instinct” is going to be affected by this. The logical mind which says you’re not most at risk despite being most reported on by the media gets overwhelmed.

So you'd rather actively make the problem worse than try and get good men onside

Now you’re just projecting and making a straw man.

That's sadly the impression I get from most people heavily invested in hating on another demographic

Speaking with other women about the way male violence is affecting us isn’t ‘hating on a demograph’

Posting ‘black men are criminals and Muslims are terroists’ in the middle of that discussion to shut it down definitely is.

Because the statistical risk of being one of those 0.0003% is almost non existent. Most women only worry about it because of scaremongering. Really, we should be far more scared of driving to work.

You are getting your own stats mixed up, because earlier that 0.0003% referred to something else.

Also I’m talking about men as victims. Why aren’t they more scared?

The fear-mongering, where does it come from? From feminists or the sensationalist press? Or fathers who stop their daughters but not sons going out for fear of what other men will do? Who teach their daughters to be afraid of life but their sons to stand up to it?

Who is mongering the female fear?

Why do horror movies show attractive naked women running scared, not men?

No one said they do. My point is that in our society, and in many societies globally, there is a culture of violence against women, ranging from unwanted cat calling in the street aimed at 13 year olds to murder. And just as I assume you are bringing your children up with different values than your parents because you want them to behave in a different way than the way you observed as a child, unless we recognise and acknowledge that this attitude exists, and who it is emanating from, there is little we can do to stop it.

Because on a societal level it's expected and acceptable that men will be killed.

There's a very deep rooted narrative in human psyches that make us belive that men are valuable not as people but as tools and women are valuable not as people but as child bearers. Therefore men are expendable and women need locked away and protected.

This leads to us viewing the murder of a woman as an awful act of violence and tragedy whereas the murder of a man is just another statistic.

Mine came from my father, but that’s because he sexually abused me. The one man in the world that was meant to love and protect me, but I could even trust him not to hurt me.

Men taught me not to trust them, he wasn’t the only one.

Exactly.

Sadly it happens time and time again on these threads where women want to talk about (not all 🙄) men harming women. Always the same type of poster pops up with NAMALT. And not just murder, it trickles all the way down to things like cat calling in the street. But we continue to get shut down.

@TruckerBarbie is scoring an own goal in my eyes.

How would you suggest we get men onside?