To feel irrational jealousy about a woman who my DP has never even met (but is meeting today)

[lucyellensmum]

In answer to my question i shall save you the bother of having to decide. Of course im being bloody unreasonable. So why is it i feel sick to my stomach.

DP is often praising up his mates wives for their achievements (so i know he is impressed by succseful women). I used to be an achiever and i used to be (imo) fairly good looking. That was a LONG TIME ago. Now i'm just fat and frumpy, bad skin, bags under my eyes, greasy lank hair (have anxiety about going to hair dressers so please don't tell me to pamper myself and get it cut!). I'm moody, irritable and basically a non achiever epimomised. I do his accounts for him, but basically that entails putting his receipts in a pile and giving them to the accountant. She SHE then sends them back all sorted with claims back on earnings that i coudlnt even imagine (that is a good thing).

So today, DP has a meeting with a woman who has her own property developing business in London. I've never even met or spoken to the woman, but i have a mental image of a Sarah Beany type, succsesful, but down to earth, smart but casual (tight jeans!) and an air of confidence about her, so basically - fucking sex on legs.

I trust my DP implicitly, i have no reason to question his faithfulness. I have always been 100% sure of him. But now he may develop a business relationship with this woman ( i know how this works, ive had flirty relationships with guys when i had a life worked). I just have a picture of him falling in love with her. And really, i can't blame him. What he has at home doesnt make him happy. Slops around in jeans or slacks bought from second hand shops, never wears make up, doesn't own any sexy underwear because it would just look ridiculous. Moans and whinges and is basically too knackered to talk after putting DD to bed, let alone anything constructive. Which would you choose?? Were you a man that is?

This meeting is really important, and could make a hugely positive effect on our business, but it is eating me up inside. I know im being ridiculous and hate myself for it, but in one way, its perfectly logical, isnt it.

On our very first day of the clinical & abnormal psychology module, our lecturer said "Don't worry if every single day you leave here thinking you have each mental illness we talk about.. there are none of us 'normal'"

And she was right... most days we looked at each other with raised eyebrows & mouthed "Oh my god" LOL

Lucy,
have only read 1st page of thread, and hate to suggest 1st yr psychology tricks, but there's a really simple technique for helping to improve your self esteem.

Can't remember what it is called, and any psychs out there will probably be able to explain it better, but it goes something like this:

Stand in front of a mirror and say to yourself 'I am an intelligent, beautiful and caring person'. Or whatever other words you want, so long as they are positive messages. It doesn't matter whether you really believe the words you are saying, just keep saying it in front of a mirror throughout the day whenever you have a chance, until it becomes a kind of mantra.

Eventually your brain will believe it, you start to feel better, and a positive cycle starts.

You will feel completely ridiculous doing it, but stick with it. It really works

Hugs