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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell him not to send the presents with his name on...

233 replies

Jinglejangle09 · 15/12/2022 16:44

From when my children were born we always said all presents were from Santa - even presents from family were just put in with what Santa had bought. We said this to all family and they were obviously under no obligation to buy for the children as they wouldn't get any credit for it.
Most family were fine with it (or at least didn't say anything to my face!).
Kids are now 7 and 8 and both still believe.
My Dad has messaged this year saying oh we are going to put messages on as we want them to know who they are from. I have gone back to him and said that he should save them for the kids birthdays if he wants them to be from him. Both birthdays Jan and Feb anyway.
AIBU? I just don't really know how I can change the whole gifting from Santa now. I maybe should have thought more about it when they were younger.

OP posts:
gluteustothemaximus · 15/12/2022 20:28

I must have been thick as pig shit as a child, because I thought all the presents came from Santa, yet I spent Christmas hols writing thank you letters to various relatives Xmas Confused

reallyhatewinter · 15/12/2022 20:30

Can grandad not give the present early so DC can then put it under the tree until Xmas day.
YABVU - you're poor family giving a gift that the DC never know is from them.

DarkDarkNight · 15/12/2022 20:32

YABU, I think you should have thought about it earlier. It’s unfair to expect people to give presents yet tell the children they’re from Santa. So your children will see other people get presents off friends and relatives but think theirs don’t give presents? They never say thank you?

How do you explain why Santa gives your children way more presents?

pimlicoanna · 15/12/2022 20:33

Yes YABU!

SugarNspices · 15/12/2022 20:34

No you abvu. It's dishonest to your kids also taking it so seriously saying it's all from Santa. If you want to put your gifts from him then fine it's up to you you bought them. Family should have the choice to say it's from them.

blubberyboo · 15/12/2022 20:37

Yabu

presumably if you take this stance then your children have never made nor bought a Christmas gift for their family…. Because all their presents come from Santa too???

you are preventing your children from learning the value and joy in giving and causing them to believe goodness only come from fantasy characters.

they are a good age now to stop this and I don’t agree it will make them naughty if they think someone else will buy them stuff! They don’t get to choose their gifts from people.
they will learn gratitude and to say thank you.
I say by sticking to this Santa story you have actually more chance of turning them into brats

let your dad put the label on

Kitkatcatflap · 15/12/2022 20:52

Ibouncetothebeat · 15/12/2022 16:48

Mmmm, I think YABU. This sounds a bit precious and your children are old enough for you to let it go now. Why can’t they receive presents from family and show some gratitude for them? In the grand scheme of things it won’t affect their belief in Santa to know that grandad sent them a gift. This tradition is all about you at this point, let it go.

This - every word

Heliumburgers · 15/12/2022 21:00

I think you need to buy some Stockings or Santa bags, get them very excited about leaving them out and then any other gifts under the tree.
You could even have an elf (either elf on shelf or one of Santa's helpers) deliver them with a letter about how he's changing it and a Chocolate coins. You can be super surprised and excited about it. Presents under the tree are from family including you. Take each out to pick a gift for the other they can wrap up and put under the tree.
This system you decided is mental and unsustainable

Herejustforthisone · 15/12/2022 21:23

You’re crackers.

Ohhmydays · 15/12/2022 21:26

Brefugee · 15/12/2022 16:57

YABU and if i were your parents i wouldn't ever have given presents under these conditions. It is a bit odd.
How are you going to handle the "i want 2 iPhones an iPad and a designer handbag, it's ok Santa pays for it all" that are going to result from this?

Although my 2 little ones are still young, middle ones just started realising the Santa thing. We tell the kids Santa brings all the presents but mummy and daddy need to go to work to give Santa money so he can buy the stuff he needs for the elves to make the toys so name tags are still marked from x,y,z

Ohhmydays · 15/12/2022 21:27

And a small present from Santa

SpotlessMind88 · 15/12/2022 21:45

Yogagrandmum · 15/12/2022 17:52

All our presents say from Santa. My child is 26...

😂 Not really a child anymore then

LBFseBrom · 15/12/2022 21:52

OP, if you are genuine, I have to say I have never heard anything so ridiculous! What do your children do after Christmas, write 'thank you' notes to Santa?

FabFitFifties · 15/12/2022 21:52

I jad the opposite "problem". I had to tell my family to stop saying santa left this sack at their house. They were spending a fortune and I wanted them to be thanked. I also thought, believing would last longer, if santa only came to our house.

purser25 · 15/12/2022 22:25

Your children need to know that family buy them presents and they need to say thank you maybe send them a letter or draw a picture to say thank you.

Thinkwicebeforeyouleavemylife · 15/12/2022 22:42

You're being ridiculous. If I were your parent I'd never have put up with this utterly precious nonsense

Geppili · 15/12/2022 23:01

Wierd

Original poster
Jinglejangle09 · 15/12/2022 23:11

Thank you all for your responses, some of them very harsh but I guess I deserve that.
Some of the people saying my children are ungrateful and spoilt I really resent that. We tried to make one day of the year completely magical and family were on the same page, the credit wasn't needed.
This November we did a reverse advent calendar where they decided each day to put some of their treats into a box which we donated to a local food bank. They are both very kind, generous kids that just don't question what santa gets them.
As a parent maybe I made a mistake early on but some of the kind responses have made me see it's easy fixable.
Merry Xmas all x

OP posts:
Reigateforever · 15/12/2022 23:32

What a lovely idea re Avent calendar.

Stripedbag101 · 16/12/2022 07:48

I think it’s strange you talk about credit for gifts.

there is a joy in giving. People love buying things for children especially. Seeing their face light up. It’s not credit - it’s a good at of showing a child in your life that you live them; that you have thought about what they would like; that you know them.

I buy things I enjoyed as a child and explain that to the children. I buy Lego sets of worked we have visited together. Science kits with matching white lab coats for me and them so we can dress up and be mad scientists. Your attitude is almost this selfish of me to want the credit for this. Maybe I am - but I want to see the joy in my beige and nephews faces and I want them to know I put a huge amount of thought and effort into their gifts.

your children deserve to know their family think of them at Christmas

jannier · 16/12/2022 08:03

Do your children buy gifts for others like close family members?

elm26 · 16/12/2022 08:12

We had a stocking from Santa growing up with a couple of bits from our list and the rest were from parents, grandparents, aunt and uncle etc. That's what I plan on doing with my DD. YABU.

purser25 · 16/12/2022 08:22

Think your children are old enough now if you can afford it to buy little gifts for maybe their parents and Grandparents.

Booktime · 16/12/2022 08:35

So for me as a kid Santa brought all the gifts but family told him what he should get from them and he delivers all the gifts after he has made them so I always write Thank you cards to my family.

Mabey you could try that? Xx

TrashyPanda · 16/12/2022 09:08

I think it’s sad that children are brought up just to be recipients - not making gifts for Granny and Grandad, or choosing something small to give to them.

let them experience the pleasure of giving a gift to their loved ones and seeing their reaction.

teach them to be considerate of others

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