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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell him not to send the presents with his name on...

233 replies

Jinglejangle09 · 15/12/2022 16:44

From when my children were born we always said all presents were from Santa - even presents from family were just put in with what Santa had bought. We said this to all family and they were obviously under no obligation to buy for the children as they wouldn't get any credit for it.
Most family were fine with it (or at least didn't say anything to my face!).
Kids are now 7 and 8 and both still believe.
My Dad has messaged this year saying oh we are going to put messages on as we want them to know who they are from. I have gone back to him and said that he should save them for the kids birthdays if he wants them to be from him. Both birthdays Jan and Feb anyway.
AIBU? I just don't really know how I can change the whole gifting from Santa now. I maybe should have thought more about it when they were younger.

OP posts:
greeneyessparksfly · 15/12/2022 17:36

Jinglejangle09 · 15/12/2022 17:14

I agree with you all, I went with what I knew from my childhood before I had really thought it thought then it just carried on each year. I think it was my Mum who said to me something along the lines of 'oh they will say it doesn't matter if I am naughty Grandma will just get it for me'
You are all right I do need to think of a way of undoing it and maybe it's a letter that says as they are getting older santa will bring less.
I really don't think my family have had a big problem with it, my Mum has always said she doesn't buy for the credit.

OP a letter is a great idea, if you have elf on the shelf can they bring it with them “magically” one morning?

I agree with other posters and I think it’s also important that they don’t think everything comes from Santa, especially as they get older, as kids compare at school. Your children have been given lots of lovely gifts from Santa for example but there might be another child that gets hardly anything from Santa due to their parents perhaps not being able to afford things and will wonder what on Earth they did so wrong that one child gets lots and they get so little. A few from Santa and a few from you and family is definitely the way to go I think.

Funkyblues101 · 15/12/2022 17:37

So have your children never sent thank you letters for all their presents?

curiositydoll · 15/12/2022 17:39

YABU.

AlwaysLatte · 15/12/2022 17:39

I really think this causes problems - people don't get thanked properly and children whose parents can't afford much think Santa favours other children more. We've always made just the stocking from Santa. So much easier!

Ballygoforwards · 15/12/2022 17:40

with my MIL it was the other way around, she wanted to say everything was from Santa including all the stuff she gets the DC. I put her straight fairly quickly.

ReneBumsWombats · 15/12/2022 17:40

Kids are now 7 and 8 and both still believe.

No they don't. They won't care as long as they get their gifts.

Blossomtoes · 15/12/2022 17:40

AreOttersJustWetCats · 15/12/2022 16:58

So your DC never send thank you letters to family? It's not a great tradition, is it?

This. I’m genuinely shocked.

MaryKristmas · 15/12/2022 17:40

Really odd way to do it.

Fair enough to give your dc presents from Father Christmas, but it is totally unreasonable for all family presents to be put in as being from him too!

Your family should be able to give your dc presents, if they wish to, and receive thanks for then too.

RambamThankyouMam · 15/12/2022 17:40

That's mental.

Baublesandtinsel · 15/12/2022 17:43

When they get older and stop believing they will never know that actually grandad got them that cool car or best teddy quite sad really.

Noimaginationforaun · 15/12/2022 17:43

We do the same as you and family have never had a problem with it. Probably because our families did the same when we were little! I don’t know any adult that needs a thank you from a small child for a Christmas present? They’re more bothered about the magic and excitement! Seeing them play with the toys and the joy that brings is enough for the adults in our family!
Children are always very grateful and have plenty of other opportunities to say thank you and learn manners during the year! It’s only for such a short time!

amylou8 · 15/12/2022 17:44

In our house stockings were from Santa, everything else from the person who gave it. Otherwise you end up with the elves being expected to knock up 1k iPads because they've been such a good boy this year.

mrsbyers · 15/12/2022 17:44

You are being unreasonable and ungrateful

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 15/12/2022 17:44

Yabvu.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 15/12/2022 17:45

You're being very silly.

Santa delivers them all - other people buy them. Santa only actually gives the stocking stuff from himself.

Tabitha888 · 15/12/2022 17:46

No one does that......

Dreamwhisper · 15/12/2022 17:47

Children all over the world grow up believing in Santa and still receive presents from family. So I think you are being unfair to your family to insist that their relatives (your children) grow up thinking they don't get them a present for Christmas.

Also, I think you are doing a disservice to your children. One day they won't believe in Santa, and I honestly think we should put a bit less effort into "convincing" them Santa is real by attempting to make it more "plausible" in very adult and rational ways. They are children. Telling them about Santa and having gifts from him appear magically while they are sleeping is enough. You're setting them up for either years of suspicion around Christmas shopping or unusually severe disappointment when they find out the truth.

Goldbar · 15/12/2022 17:47

YABU. They'll probably just be pleased about "extra" presents from their grandparents.

Mariposista · 15/12/2022 17:47

This is very precious and will unravel as soon as your kids start talking to their classmates.

Luckyducker · 15/12/2022 17:48

So your family send your kids presents and you nick them all and put them in your big santa pile and let the kids think their grandparents didn't give them anything. CF.

healthadvice123 · 15/12/2022 17:49

Strange but each to their own and its your kids that will loose out

hookiewookie29 · 15/12/2022 17:49

All the presents that came from us were brought by Santa- but we always told our kids that we sent the money for them,along with their present lists, and Santa chose what to bring.
Presents from family and friends were always just that.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 15/12/2022 17:51

YABVU

MysteryBelle · 15/12/2022 17:52

There’s a way to present this to your children without messing up your system, as pp have suggested.

I guess you don’t want them to see presents from others but not from you (because they’re from Santa). I’d give presidents from you too. It’s important for children to know they’re getting presents from the people who love them. Santa can still give presents.

Yogagrandmum · 15/12/2022 17:52

All our presents say from Santa. My child is 26...