Sydney or Edinburgh, to live?

[Cathy31]

This will be long. The question is AIBU to want to move to Edinburgh, not Sydney?

YANBU - move to Edinburgh
YABU - move to Sydney

I'm married with 2 DC, 3rd on the way. I'm from the Scottish Highlands, DH from Sydney but with British citizenship. He's lived in the UK his whole adult life. We live in a smallish town in midlands England. It's nice enough, we know some lovely people, DC are settled in a fab school/ nursery, and we have no mortgage. But we have no family nearby, and no old friends here.

We're here because of my job, but it's a temporary contract in a very niche sector, which requires regular moves (sometimes to different countries). Since having children, we've decided that it's best for us as a family if I change career. We're both happy for me to be a SAHM for a few years while our children are young.

So - we had to decide whether to stay where we are, because life is fine here, or to move, because life could be better elsewhere.

We've decided to move. But where should we move to? DH is arguing for Sydney.
Reasons:

• His mother is there. She has no other family, and has said she'd be glad to help out with childcare.
• Health service/ public services generally are well funded, reliable.
• DH has some wonderful friends, that he's known for 20+ years. I get on really well with these people too.
• THE WEATHER

Problems:

• Expensive, so we'd both have to work to afford a flat in a decent area. Even now, PT with two DC here, life feels busy, and sometimes overwhelming, so it feels big to have the financial burden.
• So far from everyone I know and love.
• I'd need a visa for work, which would mean we'd have to move out and live there for a while before I could start looking for work.

I'm arguing for Edinburgh. Reasons:

• My relationship with my parents isn't great, but DC love them, and my wider family is wonderful, including some lovely cousins for DC.
• I'd love DC to grow up speaking Gaelic, playing traditional Scottish music etc etc. It's hard to put the value of this into words, but it's very important, and DH recognises that it's something Sydney can't offer.
• We're able to afford a flat, the same size as our current house, in the centre of Edinburgh, on a mortgage small enough that I wouldn't need to work.
• Some of our oldest mutual friends live there. Most of our other mutual friends live in Britain, so we'd continue to see them a fair bit.

Problems:

• It's freezing. We couldn't afford a bigger place than we currently have unless we lived far from the centre, which isn't a problem in a hot climate, but in Edinburgh, it seems important to have living space...
• So far from the people DH feels closest to.

We feel quite sure that we could have a better life in either Edinburgh or Sydney than we do where we currently live. But which one would be best? Which one will our children be glad they grew up in?

@emmathedilemma budget for housing is pretty good, around £300k mortgage free, though we will get a mortgage wherever we move.

www.edinburgh.gov.uk/school-places/start-primary-school

Looks like you may be too late - cut off date was 18th Nov but does say can take application up to 24/12.

If your child doesn’t get a place in P1 they must have knowledge of Gaelic to join thereafter.

Id give them a call.

oooh £300k is not a big budget in the areas of Edinburgh you've mentioned! My 2 bed flat has just been valued at £280k. For 3beds, even in a flat you'll be looking at well over £300k in a nice area and for house around £450-500k.
Also bear in mind that in Scotland properties are advertised at "offers over" and this often means a lot more than even the valuation price.

24th dec is fine, the earlier date is just if you can.

I doubt the OP will be able to get an in catchment address by 24th though?

@emmathedilemma she said £300k mortgage free, plus a mortgage, so budget is more than £300k I think

they'll have no option but to take one @ReluctantLondoners unless the housing market does a spectacular crash!! If you could get 3+ beds for £300k i'd be living in it myself!

Definitely getting a mortgage! Budget with mortgage is around £500k if I'm not working, £600k if I am.

Our 3 bed 2 reception is 20 mins drive outside the centre (opposite end to Leith) and was just under £500k.

It’s too late though as they won’t live in Edinburgh/Lothians by 24/12 I’d assume!

@Doidontimmm @SheWoreYellow I could use an address in gracemount, and get an application in by 24th. But worried gracemount is too far from the school, and it's definitely not where we'd move to for the longer term, it would just be a holding place while we got somewhere more central.... But the school doesn't seen to have a catchment area...?

If your eldest turns 5 between 1st jan and 31 July you will have the choice for them to start school in either 2023 or 2024 in Sydney.

I am Australian living in Sydney married to an Englishman who has been here for about 25 years (moved as an adult).

We recently visited Edinburgh and absolutely loved it, including our teenagers. However it was October and the weather was mild, none of us has any desire to visit during winter! Since moving to Australia DH refuses to visit the UK in winter, we always go in spring or autumn.

Sydney weather is definitely better and that opens up a lifestyle that you don’t have in the UK. But you need to want to embrace that. If you are going to always feel like your kids are missing out on their Scottish heritage then there is no point in moving to Australia. The people I know who are happy here have embraced our lifestyle. DH is outdoors every minute he can be. He revels in the fact we have a pool in our backyard. He walks in the bush whenever he can.

Sydney housing is expensive but I don’t think general living costs are higher than the UK? Heating bills will certainly be way lower! Petrol is much cheaper in Australia too. Groceries are cheaper in the UK but I would say eating out is cheaper in Sydney.

PP are right though, if you move here and divorce you would not be allowed to take your kids back to the UK unless your DH agreed. Not sure why anyone would expect anything different??

Ultimately if you’re willing to embrace a different kind of life then Sydney could be a great option. We have loads of friends who have settled here and would never go back. But if you will always feel that Scotland is better and that your DC are missing out on ‘culture’ (we do have it too, just a different kind) then I’d opt for Edinburgh.

It doesn’t have a specific catchment area as it’s a specialist school. They ask to see proof of address/council tax letter so you can’t just use someone else’s address I’m afraid.

Ps you probably should have applied for a place where you currently live incase you stay there?

Exactly right. Only European history seems to count for white Brits. If there's no high grade 18c architecture, renaissance art or a theatre showing a season on Ibsen plays there cannot possibly be any culture.

There are 5000 original aboriginal art painting sites around the Sydney region alone dating back over 60,000 years. I was awestruck by the aboriginal cave paintings in Ku-ring-gai National park. Animal paintings, childrens and adults handprints. It take a a bush walk to see it in with but again, unless it's behind a velvet barrier in a 'stunning 18c architectural city gallery' it's not art apparently.

In Edinburgh. would there be Gaelic Saturday schools if your children couldn’t gain a space at the Gaelic medium school. Could DH’s mum come for a long visit every year, or come to live with you if the new house could accommodate he, pension kept, and she could be registered on the NHS?

There are 5000 original aboriginal art painting sites around the Sydney region alone dating back over 60,000 years. I was awestruck by the aboriginal cave paintings in Ku-ring-gai National park. Animal paintings, childrens and adults handprints. It take a a bush walk to see it in with but again, unless it's behind a velvet barrier in a 'stunning 18c architectural city gallery' it's not art apparently.

I would love to see that. 😍

I know a couple, English/Australian, who moved from Edinburgh to Australia- sold up and intended to live there forever. Within a year they’d realised how much they missed Edinburgh and that they were far too hot, have now been back in Edinburgh for a decade and not intending to make another move.

@Doidontimmm we're in England atm so eldest has been in school since Sept. I rang the bun sgoil this morning, they were so nice, and I think if we're in gracemount soon, even if it's after the Christmas deadline, there's a fair chance we'd get a place there. Thanks for your responses, they've been so useful.

@Remaker I didn't realise my eldest could wait a year to start school in Sydney, this is really helpful information, as ideally she'd start when other kids are also just starting. I think a pool in Sydney is out of budget for us, but we'd definitely embrace the outdoors lifestyle. And I know some of the public swimming pools in Sydney are amazing!

Thanks so much to everyone for taking the time to share your thoughts/ experiences, answer my questions etc. It's been so helpful.

@HairyMcLarie fully agree with this too.
@Ericaequites mil would come out for a month or so every year, but wouldn't consider moving out here. Saturday Gaelic classes is a great point!

I'm not sure anyone's actually said that? Of course that's ridiculous, and I've loved learning about Australian history, guided art walks etc in my 30 years in Sydney. But I think there is a difference in the sheer breadth and depth and variety of history and culture in Europe, and living in London I get easy access to it. I never would have dreamed I'd end up living back in London and loving it!

That’s great news!

There are some great junior pipe bands in Edinburgh (my son was in one many years ago) and my Grandad used to run one :)

Something I've noticed when visiting Edinburgh is it's very grey. The buildings are grey, the weather can be grey, and it's just dreich. I'm from Glasgow originally and I find it quite drab in comparison. I've never been to Australia but I know 100% I'd rather live in Edinburgh, it's a great city for all its greyness! Not helpful, I know!

Nowt wrong with 50 shades of grey 😉

Compromise and move to Melbourne, absolutely fantastic city with a more bearable climate than Sydney.