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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can’t stop crying - our cat has been killed just before Christmas

196 replies

Brighton5555 · 14/12/2022 19:03

Not that there is any good time to be hit by a car and lay overnight on the freezing road but this morning I got a call telling me my cat had been killed on the road I live on and someone was kind enough to pick her up and take her to the vet who scanned her and call me ..

she was 18 months old. I got to speak to the lady who found her and she informed me she literally found her dead outside my house on the road and now I’m haunted she nearly made it home .

I’ve cried on and off the whole day. Can’t bear to be in the house .

Can’t stop crying - our cat has been killed just before Christmas
OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
America12 · 14/12/2022 20:46

What a lovely cat , so sorry.

MirandaWest · 14/12/2022 20:47

I’m so sorry x

Alanisadick · 14/12/2022 20:48

So sorry OP 😞

My cats are the same age and I adore them and live in constant fear of them meeting the same fate. But I’d never keep a cat as an inside cat, mine love going outside and I think it’s better for them to have a potentially shorter but more fun life being able to go outside and do cat stuff than being cooped up in a house for 20 years bored stuff.

That said I will be devastated if/when the time comes. I’m sure she knew she was loved and had a lovely life with you. I remember when my dog died who was the light of my life, the only thing which lifted my spirits slightly in that awful time was the thought that the pain of losing him was still less than the joy of knowing him, and I’d have gone through it all again in a heartbeat. Hugs OP.

Alanisadick · 14/12/2022 20:49
  • bored STIFF
LavenderfortheBees · 14/12/2022 20:50

simba30 · 14/12/2022 20:44

Can I ask are your house cats male or female? I currently have a 6 month old male who is neutered. I haven't let him out and don't know if I ever will for this very reason. I am so very sorry op, such a beautiful cat

Show quote history

I have two neutered boys and I have kept them inside their whole lives as I dont trust they would be safe outside. They are happy (also very soft and daft) but they also have each other to keep them occupied.

CrownTheTurkey · 14/12/2022 20:50

I'm so sorry op. There's never a good time to lose a beloved pet, but to lose one at this time in particular is devastating.
Beautiful cat.
💐

Lilavanblue · 14/12/2022 20:51

So sorry for your loss.
We lost our dog in a car accident, I know how awful it feels ❤️

ISaidDontLickTheBin · 14/12/2022 20:51

I'm so sorry OP. Such a beautiful cat and far too young. They steal your heart away don't they.

I'm not remotely religious but I find the 'Rainbow bridge' concept surprisingly comforting in times of pet loss.

Motheroftwofeline · 14/12/2022 20:52

So sorry OP, what a beautiful girl she was. I’m sure you gave her a wonderful life x

Stunningscreamer · 14/12/2022 20:54

OP I'm so very sorry. What a beautiful girl.

MadKittenWoman · 14/12/2022 20:57

She looks like our Merlin who had to be put to sleep at 18 months after a year’s battle with FIP (drugs stopped working after the 3rd attempt). I know exactly how you feel. I haven’t even been able to look at pictures since he was pts.

However, when we were ready, we adopted a rescue cat who is completely different in age, looks and sex. She will never take his place and we still miss him so much, but caring for her with her complex emotional needs has helped us and we have started to be able to talk about him.

Your lovely cat will never be replaced, but when you feel ready think about putting all that love into helping another cat who needs it. [Flowers]

Ohyeahbabe · 14/12/2022 20:58

So sorry, what a sad thing to happen. She was a real cutie. Sending hugs xx

KrystynaZ · 14/12/2022 20:59

I voted YABU.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Our sweet kitten was run over and killed in front of our house 40 years ago. They just left her lying there for us to find the next day. I still cried about it up until a few years ago.

Then my brother died, and then my mum, and I realised…

Pets are replaceable. People aren't.

Many cats and dogs have come and gone in our family in those 40 years. Yes we loved them all and every one of them was part of the family. Each one filled the hole left by the previous one.

But nothing can ever fill the hole left by my brother and my mum.

What happened to your kitty is sad. But you still have your children and your husband. And you can get another cat.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh.

CassandraCross · 14/12/2022 21:01

I am so very sorry for you @Brighton5555 Flowers

MadKittenWoman · 14/12/2022 21:02

Our cats have always gone out to live their lives. Please think about whether you want them to live an unnatural life indoors. It’s a chance that we are willing to take.

sweetgingercat · 14/12/2022 21:04

I'm so sorry. Big hugs here. Sometimes cats don't live long lives and it's tragic and really upsetting. But you obviously cared for her deeply and in her short life she must have felt loved and wanted, and that's the best gift you could have given her.

MadKittenWoman · 14/12/2022 21:09

KrystynaZ · 14/12/2022 20:59

I voted YABU.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Our sweet kitten was run over and killed in front of our house 40 years ago. They just left her lying there for us to find the next day. I still cried about it up until a few years ago.

Then my brother died, and then my mum, and I realised…

Pets are replaceable. People aren't.

Many cats and dogs have come and gone in our family in those 40 years. Yes we loved them all and every one of them was part of the family. Each one filled the hole left by the previous one.

But nothing can ever fill the hole left by my brother and my mum.

What happened to your kitty is sad. But you still have your children and your husband. And you can get another cat.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh.

I appreciate that you mean well, but, and I mean this kindly, I don’t think that it’s helpful at this time. You have no idea about the OP’s family relationships. I was devastated at losing my last two cats in the last few years to illnesses. I lost my mother, with whom I was NC, in June of this year and felt nothing but relief.

KimberleyClark · 14/12/2022 21:11

I,m so sorry for your loss of your beautiful cat xxx

LimeTwists · 14/12/2022 21:12

I’m very sorry to read about the loss of your lovely (very pretty) cat. Be gentle to yourself and give yourself time to grieve. It’s a big loss to suffer 💐

LimeTwists · 14/12/2022 21:13

KrystynaZ · 14/12/2022 20:59

I voted YABU.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Our sweet kitten was run over and killed in front of our house 40 years ago. They just left her lying there for us to find the next day. I still cried about it up until a few years ago.

Then my brother died, and then my mum, and I realised…

Pets are replaceable. People aren't.

Many cats and dogs have come and gone in our family in those 40 years. Yes we loved them all and every one of them was part of the family. Each one filled the hole left by the previous one.

But nothing can ever fill the hole left by my brother and my mum.

What happened to your kitty is sad. But you still have your children and your husband. And you can get another cat.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh.

This isn’t about you.

KrystynaZ · 14/12/2022 21:14

I'm sorry you lost your cats. I still miss mine every day.
I didn't mean to offend anyone.

LowbrowVictoriana · 14/12/2022 21:20

What a beautiful cat! I'm so sorry, OP. I know how much I love my cat and dog and how upset I'll be when they go.
Strength and Christmas wishes to all who have lost furry friends in recent months.

userxx · 14/12/2022 21:22

KrystynaZ · 14/12/2022 20:59

I voted YABU.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Our sweet kitten was run over and killed in front of our house 40 years ago. They just left her lying there for us to find the next day. I still cried about it up until a few years ago.

Then my brother died, and then my mum, and I realised…

Pets are replaceable. People aren't.

Many cats and dogs have come and gone in our family in those 40 years. Yes we loved them all and every one of them was part of the family. Each one filled the hole left by the previous one.

But nothing can ever fill the hole left by my brother and my mum.

What happened to your kitty is sad. But you still have your children and your husband. And you can get another cat.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh.

Many people don't speak to their family and wouldn't bothered by their deaths.

nobird · 14/12/2022 21:22

I’m so sorry. Losing a beloved pet in this way is devastating. It happened to me 18 years ago and still upsets me when I think about it.

Hugs for you x

LowbrowVictoriana · 14/12/2022 21:23

KrystynaZ · 14/12/2022 20:59

I voted YABU.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Our sweet kitten was run over and killed in front of our house 40 years ago. They just left her lying there for us to find the next day. I still cried about it up until a few years ago.

Then my brother died, and then my mum, and I realised…

Pets are replaceable. People aren't.

Many cats and dogs have come and gone in our family in those 40 years. Yes we loved them all and every one of them was part of the family. Each one filled the hole left by the previous one.

But nothing can ever fill the hole left by my brother and my mum.

What happened to your kitty is sad. But you still have your children and your husband. And you can get another cat.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh.

No one, including OP, is suggesting that losing a pet is comparable with losing a human loved one.
It's still painful to lose a much loved pet, though, and perfectly normal to mourn.