TA doesn’t like my child and made her really upset today.

[BelleandH]

One of the TA’s quite obviously doesn’t like my child. I’ve had a feeling there is a problem for a while but it’s so difficult to approach firstly because she’s sligh about it and secondly because I don’t want her to treat my DD any worse.
I’ve witnessed it myself, the way she spoke to my daughter so abruptly and then to another child about the same thing straight after ina much kinder way. She avoids any eye contact with me, and will stand talking to other mothers for ages about their children (one in particular who’s children a far more trying than mine)
today it came to a head when she tried to wrestle her coat on and stormed her down the corridor to me - at this point my DD burst into tears.
I contacted the head who was straight away on the defence with his staff rather than listening to the facts.
DD is only 4, she is a lock down child from a shielding family so didn’t do any socialising from around 18 months. She’s not unruly but is strong willed. I’ve had so many compliments about her when she’s out with me so she’s not completely awful.

AIBU so put in a formal complaint about her?

I didn’t say they didn’t want to be paid. You’re arguing yourself round in circles here.

It’s a job. It’s a convenient job that works around school holidays. Pretending that it’s some calling it’s exactly why the system is failing. Same with the NHS. Its a job, and it should be salaried appropriately.

You really need to go and work in a school for a year and then come back and apologize boils my blood when I see ignorant posts like this.

Maybe it’s just our school but believe me, it happened.

ive had another conversation this morning where I had asked a pupil to do something, they refused and I didn’t take it further because honestly? I can’t force them to comply and, as the teacher I work with said -‘if o speak to mum all I’ll get back is how it’s our fault because we aren’t engaging enough’. With that parent the swearing might not happen, but we do get it from other parents who don’t believe that their darling little Wayne could ever do anything wrong, ever.

homestly I’ve very close to quitting because of some parents and certain children who won’t follow instructions. Oh and I got told ‘I hope you die’ at break time by a child - because I said no football as the playground was sheet ice. Nothing will be done about that.

anyway it’s back to the grindstone now after lunch.

Did I say it's a calling. No. No more than accountancy is. Both need a skill. Pretending that we are all just unqualified 'mummies' is insulting. As is pretending we are 'in it for the holidays'. Most people who are actually employed by schools nowadays are employed because they are good at what they do and have skills the school desires. Minimising support staff impact is appalling and it's just a way for you to feel superior.

I mean, I wouldn't have any faith in a teacher who doesn't understand sometimes children need to follow instructions but no doubt you leave all the dirty work to the support staff eh?

I do feel for you. I have some days at work where any level of instruction - from polite request to you absolutely must not do that is just ignored (teenagers at my work) and it is soul destroying. Hope you have a smooth end to your week and restful holiday

I agrée that it should be paid appropriately- and it’s not, not even close!

i des every day with children who need extra input and extra help. I deal with some really poor behaviour, including physical assault on occasion. I keep my temper when 10 year olds say truest terrible things to me (I hope you die / you’re fat and ugly / I hope your daughter dies). i cajole some of the most deprived children into trying hard and trying to better themselves. I give specialist speech and language therapy interventions, run emotional support groups for children needing help with their emotions, I listen to the kid crying because Granny died last night, I confort the child who watched Dad beat up Mum again last night (and try to arrange social services input to help).

the role of a TA is difficult, under appreciated and underpaid. It’s no wonder that teachers and TAs are leaving in their droves.

anyway, whatever, I doubt I can change peoples perception of it being a nice little job to fit around my own Childrens holidays….

I’m a teacher.

Who said TAs were unqualified mummies? You did, and then pretended it was me. Your arguments are so circular. At no point have I minimised the work of support staff. Or claimed children never need to follow instructions. Or said that making a child cry is abuse, or any of the other accusations you’re slinging my way.

Why do you do it? Why not try a private nursery?

Mate I've seen you on here trying to convince people men are women because of outdated stereotypes and that calling people cervix Havers is fine and dandy.
I don't think you are really in a position to accuse people of circular arguments.

No you haven’t. More bollocks from you.

Yes I have. I can't be bothered t argue with you as I usually just watch you tie yourself in knots.
Just feel sorry for anyone you work with.

No, you just accuse me of things you can’t then back up. Still no evidence of me saying any of these things because it just exists in your head.

Nope, I just don't want to trawl through pages and pages of threads for your nonsense.

I recognise your user name because I regularly need to roll my eyes at it.

The unfounded accusations (and the insults) are why your posts keep getting deleted though. It’s all in your head.

Best pop her into a private school then OP.

At least they might be able to teach your high-spirited 'personality' the difference between fact-rich observable data & confirmation bias.

She is used to being spoken to not dictated to by some middle age woman who quite obviously hates her job but is clinging on for her pension!!

I suspect your definition of "obvious" is a bit different from the dictionary one OP.

You're doing a remarkable job of displaying your petty bigotries on this thread, & illustrating the quality of your logistic ability & critical thinking skills.

I trawled through for you - mainly because that wasn't how I'd read the comments and wanted to see if I was wrong. Now I've read through the thread I can see that I wasn't.

Pumper never said anything about child abuse - that was a misinterpretation.

I have made a formal complaint to which I’ve had a reply already; already refusing to take it as a formal complaint. This really speaks volumes already but I’m willing to listen to what the Heads solution is if he will not act upon a formal complaint.
😂😂😂

Best seal up those logic gaskets OP, they're leaking again.

How can you expect the Head to find a 'solution' to a problem he does not recognise exists?

You have been so vague here, no doubt you were equally vague in your thrillingly emotive report to him.
You've described nothing more substantial than:
I dislike this TA
I think I know more about the educational system than professional educators
I want the TA to be disciplined because I am feeling emotional
The TA put my daughter's coat on indoors
I felt the he TA seemed irritable during CoatGate
The TA is at fault because she is middle aged
The TA hates her job
The TA is definitely only still working because she wants her pension

What do you expect the Head to do about any of that?
He can only respond to the 2 in bold, all the rest is conjecture, bigotry & spite.
Well done though: if he wasn't already fully aware, you've now outed yourself to him as That Parent.

Being A TA is one of those jobs, along with midwifes, police force, doctors, teachers etc, where people seem to fall into 2 camps. They either have a calling for the vocation and want to genuinely help people, or, they are power hungry arseholes that are only attracted to the role as they get kicks out of having control out of people at their most vunerable (I.e, a child or in labour, etc).

Thanks Nature, I appreciate that.

@Dinodigger if you're a power hungry arsehole you should definitely avoid being a primary teacher or TA. Almost everyone; press, social media, parents, school inspectors and SMT will be competing to tell you how much you suck. Note, I didn't include pupils there. The kids make it a job worth doing.

1. Instructing a child to put their coat on when it is minus two degrees outside is not “abuse” ffs. In about an hour on Mumsnet we will probably see a thread from another parent frothing at the mouth about why a TA let their child out without a coat and should have instead overruled the child’s demands not to wear one because she is the adult.

2. Four year olds cry over absolutely anything. This is not indicative in the slightest that any sort of “abuse” is going on. My sisters 4-year old cried the other day because the nursery had run out of apples and she was offered a pear. The week before, a 4ish year old boy burst into tears on the bus because the pikachu on his iPad screen was the wrong colour.

3. Everybody knows that TA’s go into the job for the gold-plated pensions.

It was @MadameMackenzie who called it abuse. @Pumperthepumper just said children should never be disciplined in case it makes them cry.

No i didn’t.