Would I be unreasonable to call his work?

[mindisdoingovertime]

So the hubby left early this morning for work. He drives around all day attending different work calls.

It is very, very icey and the weather was awful when he left at 5am this morning!

Ive tried calling him but both his work phone and normal phone is unavailable. Ive also got one tick on WhatsApp.

He sometimes works in areas of no signal but this is very rare (think once or twice over the last year).

Would I be unreasonable to contact his work and ask them to trace his works van or is this crazy woman territory? I'm so worried, ive been crying all morning, this is not like him at all. Ive checked all the local traffic reports and there was a crash this morning close to where we live and would fit his route at the right time but it says no injuries.

What would you do? Shall I wait a bit and keep trying to ring him?

Exactly @Badgirlriri It would be so boring on here if everyone agreed with each other and thought the same thoughts. There was a book by George Orwell (1984) that had this kind of thing in it.

And this 'everyone who doesn't treat the OP with kid gloves, and like she's a little kitten, is a big old meanie ,and spiteful, and a keyboard warrior' trope is just tedious now. How on earth do people cope in real life, when people give them an alternative view?

I find it bizarre too.

Isn't the most obvious explanation that the op's husband is safe and well? She probably discovered that shortly after the last message and is now too embarrassed to tell us.

I would put good money on that being the case.

@PurpleButterflyWings fair enough 😀At least the explanation is there for anyone who genuinely had visions of cows being watered in the same fashion as houseplants.

For anyone requiring an update: the OP's DH got his signal back about 11am and discovered 35 missed calls and texts from the OP. He was horrified and crashed into a ditch, as his phone would not stop pinging once it was back in range. Fortunately no-one was hurt, but a local farmer was not impressed at having to pull the van out of an icy ditch and had a few choice words about it, mainly along the lines of 'fuck's sake, there's cows out there that need watering you know'.

The OP is now too embarrassed to return to the thread. She has however fitted her husband with a tracker and is currently fretting because that too is out of signal.

The moral of the story, as Mark Twain said, 'I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which have never happened'.

How does "We enjoy each other's company" trump the employer's "I pay you to work"?

I agree with the PP's about the faux concern for the PP.

People are just nosey fuckers.

Own it.

I meant OP obviously!

I can’t believe there’s no update! I hope it’s that OP is just feeling slightly foolish and her husband is fine, was just away on a course that he forgot to tell her about or something. (And OP, I mean foolish in jest as previously I’d have had the same reaction, although I used to suffer severely with anxiety)

I wouldn’t be worried (not just because it’s an unknown person in the internet) but because I expect the reason the OP didn’t come back was because her husband phoned her at 10:46am when he got reception again and she felt silly.

I am actually dying to know the outcome to be honest.

I’m not worried but I am nosey and dying to know what the actual story was!

This seems exceptionally needy, to a point I would be concerned about your mental health. It is not healthy to be ringing each other every hour. Maybe your husband just wants some quiet time to himself. If you carry on like this I fear you will push him away.

He is probably somewhere with no signal. I live in a major city and there are a lot of areas with no mobile signal including my house. It's not rare in the UK unfortunately. It drives me mad.

Four possible explanations.

Troll. (possible)

Sensitive soul scared off by replies questioning her anxiety levels. (possible)

Op was right and husband has had a terrible accident. (least likely)

Husband was absolutely fine and op is too embarrassed to return. (most likely)

I like your level headed-ness.

I do think the OP had a right to be worried. I HNRTFT, but seems that she has got a hard time for her concern. However, hopefully nothing bad had happened and she she can come and update that all is good.

OP - having to make contact with your partner every hour while at work and then getting so upset when unable suggests co-ercive control by your partner.
This is what his employers will conclude.

Thank you @PondintheRain and @WisherWood
I too was wondering why anyone needed to water their cows at 3am

In truth, I still am. I am not sure why cows don't have a sleep at night, and wait until milking time to have a drink, but I'm sure that's for another thread, another time

And this 'everyone who doesn't treat the OP with kid gloves, and like she's a little kitten, is a big old meanie ,and spiteful, and a keyboard warrior' trope is just tedious now. How on earth do people cope in real life, when people give them an alternative view?

Quite

Would it be unreasonable to ask MN to check on OP? I think some of us are as worried about her as she was about her dh. I hope all is well.

Whatever you think thats very mean

I think it’s perfectly reasonable to call his work if you are worried. My husband travels overseas and I usually don’t worry at all if I don’t hear from him but if I am expecting a call and the roads are bad, it’s very late, I can’t get hold of him and have heard something concerning then I would think it’s perfectly acceptable to try to get hold of him somehow to provide reassurance that he is safe. The same for my two, now young adult, sons. I would never forgive myself if there was an issue and I had done nothing. I would prefer to be over anxious in some situations.
I hope all is okay x

Are you going to update us if he was OK or not?

Interesting seeing people's relationship dynamics I go away for work for a week soe times and we don't even speak to each other.