Host fell asleep at party 😴

[swappingwellies]

I don’t know how to feel about this! I was invited to a girl’s night get together at a friend’s place, from about 7.30pm til late. I was a little late (I let the group know ahead of time) so got there about 8pm. Turns out one friend was sick and the other had an unexpected online meeting so she couldn’t make it either. It was just myself and the friend host. She wasn’t around when I got there, so I chatted with her DS for a while, and watched tv. She came downstairs about half hr later,
apologised and I made nothing of it. The food was all set up on the table buffet setting, so we got stuck in. I hadn’t even finished my plate of food and I looked up, host was sleeping. Throughout the eve she kept falling asleep mid conversation. I should have just got up and left, I’m still wondering why I didn’t. I felt uncomfortable knowing the host is sleepy and yet I thought getting up and leaving would make it further uncomfortable. For purposes of context, we’re not very close friends, just getting to know a new group of friends.

I fall asleep anywhere and have been known to fall asleep while I've been in mid sentence. I have fallen asleep standing up, at nightclubs, in meetings, etc. I once fell asleep at a dinner party when I went upstairs to check on children (my 5y old staying at host"s), lay down on floor next to DD and woke as everyone was leaving. Obviously I was mortified but they left me there as figured I was tired. I've never been diagnosed with anything (although never questioned it) and don't take drugs although alcohol def makes it worse.

My friends took me to the theatre for my birthday. I only went because she'd paid good money for the tickets but I was absolutely exhausted. My work was very very stressful, I didn't realise tbh how bad I was until this occasion and I feel straight to sleep and my poor friend had to keep poking me awake I just could not stay awake. It was the first time I'd sat down still for a very long time and my body just decided it wasn't going to join in the celebrations!!

Didn't have time to read all responses but wanted to say I think she's probably faking falling asleep to get you to leave. No very nice for you and people saying you should have left, I see why you didn't, I wouldn't want to be the last in a massive line of people who have sacked off the party witjer

Either

If the party involved drink, food and tv, I’d fall asleep, as that’s what I do on my sofa every night given a chance! Did you talk much?

This woman either has narcolepsy, or perhaps she had an exhausting day and decided to still host you. However, keep in mind that she was gracious of her to open her home to you. Keep her kindness in mind and return it to her. Don't hold her sleepiness against her, especially since she can't control that. She could still prove to be a good friend.

@potniatheron everything you've described was me and my friends during menopause. Also at very busy/stressful/awaiting diagnosis (chronic fatigue, anemia, low thyroid, one time a blood clot etc) times in our lives. I can remember wondering what was wrong with me, because I was so sleepy and two days later I got the rash part of shingles, another time glandular fever. I'd been away for the weekend and the combination of strange bed, lots of walking etc and other people outside waking me up, meant that I was dropping off from 8pm. Thankfully my boyfriend didn't think, "she's on smack".

Yeah, menopause is hard. I'm simply describing the red flags I see from my experience.

Also, not having a go at you specifically but I have a real problem with the judgementalism that many on this thread seem to be applying to drug addiction. It is an illness and a health condition like any other. Dismissive comments like "she's on smack" really seem to come from a place of judgement. A lot of people on this thread seem to think that drug addiction is a moral failing, and that therefore any suggestion of drug abuse should be argued against vociferously. I can assure you it is not a moral failing. It carries the same moral value as a difficult menopause. Both are neutral health conditions. Therefore I do not understand why some on this thread seem so shocked at my observations.

I also don't understand why so many on this thread seem to gravitate to heroin as the potential answer. heroin abuse is relatively rare in the demographic OP is describing. The type of behavious OP describes her friend exhibiting would be very applicable to a combination of prescription pain meds and alcohol. Addication comes in many forms. Too many people on this thread really have an outmoded view of addiction.

Don’t be hard on yourself. You stayed to be kind to the host, who seems to have gone to some trouble to prepare a meal for the guests who didn’t appear - you were doing your best to save her face in an awkward situation. Maybe just drop her a text to thank her and wish her a happy and healthy Christmas and New Year.

Epilepsy, absence seizures? Or narcolepsy?

Yeah she'd probably be grateful if you politely excused yourself. I feel bad for both of you hahaha how awkward

YANBU. She should have cancelled. Really awkward for you! Hope she is ok.

I would have tidied the food away, washed up and buggered off making sure the doors were locked. She must have been utterly exhausted and we all know how that feels.

Absolutely! My first instinct would be comparison and support, not thinking “oh well this is awkward. How unreasonable of her”

OP and the asleep woman....that's the saddest party I've ever heard of.

Had the two friends cancelled because the host not well. What were the arrangements to contact OP? Did they or the host not have OPs contact details. When the host discovered that OP had not been contacted she did her best in the circs rather open the door and say it was cancelled.
Has OP contacted the other two to find out what was going on?

I struggle to sleep, I suffer with pain.
i can def fall asleep mid sentence!
I’m not drugged out either

Sleep Apnea, she wouldn’t be aware she was falling asleep!

I fall asleep everywhere. Always have. On the bus, in the office, chatting with friends. It's embarrassing, and I can't help it. Its worse when I'm depressed.

I'm sure she's grateful you turned up, and mortified that she couldn't handle the evening.

I think she was trying to get you to leave

Hopefully you took the hint

As you said now, you should have left.

Believe it or not, I'm not even on opioids. Just Freaking Tired.

@swappingwellies maybe your host has sleep apnoea. She may not know it, so you could read up about it before you see her again and gently suggest she sees a doctor.

Great, now I've got the image back of a giant (for some reason) horse falling asleep at a party 🤣 x

😂
Was thinking of some massive Clydesdale, spent in the corner of the lounge room with a few sleepy drunks cuddled up on it. Hat and feather boa on horse, music blaring, drinks still being taken.

Sigh, still tired here!