Host fell asleep at party 😴

[swappingwellies]

I don’t know how to feel about this! I was invited to a girl’s night get together at a friend’s place, from about 7.30pm til late. I was a little late (I let the group know ahead of time) so got there about 8pm. Turns out one friend was sick and the other had an unexpected online meeting so she couldn’t make it either. It was just myself and the friend host. She wasn’t around when I got there, so I chatted with her DS for a while, and watched tv. She came downstairs about half hr later,
apologised and I made nothing of it. The food was all set up on the table buffet setting, so we got stuck in. I hadn’t even finished my plate of food and I looked up, host was sleeping. Throughout the eve she kept falling asleep mid conversation. I should have just got up and left, I’m still wondering why I didn’t. I felt uncomfortable knowing the host is sleepy and yet I thought getting up and leaving would make it further uncomfortable. For purposes of context, we’re not very close friends, just getting to know a new group of friends.

She was probably just exhausted. Last week I had a night where I'd put DD to bed and ended up going to bed myself (around 8.30pm or so). This time of year is exhausting. I wouldn't worry too much.

I would've just said something like "you seem exhausted, let's call it a night and we can do this another time"

Itwasn'tevensmackpudding

Might have to name change 😂

Yes in fact I'm not sure I would have waited around if she didn't appear within a few mi utes of me showing up!
But I would have said what pp suggested, after she fell asleep first time I would have thanked her, told her to go to bed, and left.
I did have a friend, who was hosting a dinner party, go off to change the music (stereo was in her room - small flat) when we realised she hadn't reappeared after ten minutes we found her asleep in her bed. We just made a joke if it. Early 20s she was just not a night owl!

Poor woman.

I think we have reached the apogee of MN Armchair Diagnoses with the confident assessment that the woman is clearly a heroin addict. We're never going to top that, folks.

😂😂😂😂

I would think she was on medication and would have made an excuse to go home. I hope she's ok

😂😂😂 I hope so otherwise people are really this barmy

I don’t understand why you won’t say how long you stayed for 😂😂😂😂 you got there at 8, she came down at 8:30 how many hours did you stay with her just nodding off every now and again? I assume it was a couple of hours? That’s wild to me

😂😂😂 its been good for a laugh at least. I particularly enjoy that the poster who suggested this was a bit of an extreme reaction was then labelled as "overinvested"

@OnlyFannys

That was me 😂

Same poster also "tagged" me as "itwasntevensmackpudding" which is hardly a typo so I suspect they are just having a laugh.

Everything about your OP and subsequent posts have screamed drugs (downers) but I think it's very kind and sweet of those on this thread who are coming up with other possible explanations.

This sounds quite bizarre.

At the grand old age of 36 I have had plenty of evenings with friends and we’ve had our fair share of stressful news, illnesses etc but they have never fallen asleep while talking to me on multiple occasions during the course of an evening 🙈 I know someone else suggested it but it does sound like she had taken something or maybe an adverse reaction to new medication or been drinking? Was she pretending to sleep so you would leave? It’s very unusual to fall asleep while talking to someone.

And if, as others suggested, she was SO exhausted or SO unwell that she was just randomly falling asleep why would she not just say that? 🤔

I missed that glorious detail, that is some top drawer trolling 😂

Nothing about the OP’s posts scream drugs. None at all. What an incredibly weird take.

They scream exhaustion and illness.

Noooo, what?? There are loads of red flags which get this former user, now addictions specialist's antenna a-twitching.

tried and tested red flags exhibited by us users, alkies, junkies and former junkies everywhere include:

• unexplained absences when supposed to be present at a function ("oh, I was just trying to sort something out on the phone!")
• nodding out over food (normies definitely fall asleep, but on sofas and in armchairs, not over a meal)
• coming to and continuing conversation as if nothing had happened (this is a classic tell. Normies fall asleep and are aware they've been asleep when they wake up, so naturally comment on the fact they've been asleep, especially if the sleeping has occurred in an environment where it wouldbe be appropriate such as a DINNER PARTY. Junkies, on the other hand, nod out and aren't necessarily aware that they've done so, so they just pick back up on their conversation - sometimes even mid sentence. I cannot tell you what a huge and well known and affectionately mocked red flag this is in Addict World "My face was in my plate")
• Closely related to this - repeatedly nodding out and seemingly not aware you have done so, or being too ashamed to acknowledge it. Normies, if they fall asleep somewhere socially inappropriate, would comment on it. And probably be concerned about their medical state, because falling asleep during a meal if very abnormal for a person in good health.

This is actually a good point. Seems odd that she left you on your own for half an hour first. Perhaps the half-hour absence and later nodding off are somehow linked?

We come from very different worlds if you can perceive what I wrote as an attack

Do you mind me asking why, when you found out that the others had cancelled when you got there coupled with the fact that you were left alone for the first half an hour, did you decide to stay instead of saying to the host "Look, it's very clear that you are tired and I don't want to overstay my welcome and as Mary and Jane have decided to cancel, I'll head off too. Thanks for organising it and we'll try and meet up again after Christmas sometime".

Why did you stay???

Further red flags for substance use:

1. Recieving 'stressful news last week' without elaborating. When I was dirnking and using this was one of my favourite excuses for erratic behaviour ("No, I was NOT drunk / high / both last night! I'd just had some stressful / bad news! That's why I was acting funny!"). I'm definitely not the first nor the last addict to resort to this excuse for odd behaviour.
2. The other two friends cancelling - but for some reason not cancelling on the gorup chat, nor did the host think it might be appropriate to inform OP that OP was now the ONLY guest at a supposed 'group' event. My friends used to bail on me too when they suspected or clocked that I was gearing up to using.
3. @Ineedtosleep79 - yes the two things together are a big red flag. Strange, unexplained absences followed by erratic behaviour are well known signs of secret substance abuse.

@LookItsMeAgain bc she had left her DS to welcome the friends as she was sorting out something on the phone. He told me she is in the phone and will be there very soon. We found out soon after that other friends won’t be making it, albeit for separate reasons. If somebody has left a message that they’re on the phone and will be with me soon, why would I have a strop and leave?? She apologised about the phone call as soon as she came down.

😂 I’ve been marvelling about it on and off all day.

It’s your approach on most threads.

When she woke up after nodding off the first time was she not totally mortified and apologetic ???
The only time I've seen people repeatedly nod off and not acknowledge is was if they are drunk or very high.

I'm amazed that out of the hundreds of posters I'm able to even standout in your mind

Why would people cancelling be connected to falling asleep? Is the OP suggesting she’s that boring 🤣