AIBU to think I'm unemployable? Or am I just difficult?

[anerki101]

I have one child in their first year of primary school. DS enjoys school but it's a struggle to get him there. I have posted previously about his various issues. We suspect he may have autism and the school have been observing him. They are going to set up a meeting with me after the Christmas holidays.

I have long suspected that I'm also neurodiverse and DS is almost exactly as I was at that age. I also take medication for generalised anxiety and health anxiety.

I have a DH who works 8am until 5:30pm five days a week and 1 in 3 Saturdays too.

I do the school runs. 840am drop off and 3pm pick up.

I have no family help for school runs or school holidays. The school has a breakfast club but no after school club.

So essentially my work options are 930 - 2pm roughly depending on distance from school, term time only.

I'm well aware plenty of parents work around primary aged DC but for the life of me, I cannot see a way to make it work.

The first job I considered was TA. But all the jobs I've looked at, even they finish at 3:30 but I have to pick DS up at 3. No afterschool Club and I cannot afford to pay for childcare.

I can't afford to okay for holidays clubs in the school holidays and with DS various needs, I really don't think it would be a good idea anyway.

So what am I supposed to do? We desperately need another income. I'm currently at uni and contribute my student maintenance loan to the household Pot but its not enough. My degree also isn't one that will lead directly to a career. I'd be a graduate so there would be more job options but not a direct career path. And those more job options are likely to be unworkable due to DS anyway.

Am I being deliberately difficult here or are there really no answers?

I will add I did have an evening job but DS really struggled with not seeing me all day whilst at school and then not seeing me at all in the evenings.

Sorry for the length.

Do you write in your evenings, have you tried to get anything published? Is this an option?

Another vote for civil service - currently where I work as a single parent, they are very flexible and you could move up the pay band quite quickly over the next 2-3 years if you wanted to. Evenings are also a good shout, you and hubby use annual leave to cover school hols, unpaid parental leave could make up the shortfall

Not if she never works.

Have you been to speak to your university careers service? They should be able to help and many of them have job shops too which advertise jobs for students.

I don't think you're being difficult at all, OP, but you are in a difficult position!

It's easy to say 'just do evenings/night shifts' but you have to factor in how realistic this actually is.

Ideally a WFH role with flexible hours would suit you; if you like writing, would you consider copywriting? You can freelance by signing up to websites, learn about SEO etc and perhaps advertise cleaning services on your local FB page in the meantime with hours that suitable you while you build this up?

A friend of mine is a writer. She writes copy for blogs, websites, newsletters etc. It's taken a while for her to build up a good client base but it's pretty flexible. Which it needs to be as she also has a long term chronic illness and a teenager with ASD and some other issues.

Don't give up on the writing. You're unlikely to make money from fiction, but there are lots of non fiction uses of writing.

I wrote a novel once - I made no money from it but I did get paid a reasonable amount to edit a magazine and various websites. I have a teaching job that brings in a regular income. You could teach adult education perhaps.

I don't qualify for the childcare grant. And sorry, but I said 1500 would be nice and comfortable. I didn't say it would be achievable. I earned 1300 when I was FT customer service before I had DS. I realise 1500 is nigh on impossible. I'd expect to be working 45+ hours a week and hitting regular bonus to achieve that.

Picking a creative writing degree over getting a job when your husbands' income barely covers the bills was foolish at best.

You can't afford to be picky. Get a job warning evenings and/or weekends in a supermarket and your DH can look after DS.

Loads of supermarkets do a 6-11 shift, and then you can do a full day at a weekend to supplement if you need it.

You're ignoring the many people asking you why your DH isn't picking up at least some of the slack with your shared kid.

Will you at least have completed a piece of creative work to a publishable standard by the end of the degree? I presume the course nurtures you through the creation of such work, as opposed to a largely useless theory of how to write?

If you can’t work full time surely it would have to be very high pay for £1500 take home?

Why can’t your husband do bedtimes?

there are loads of jobs where you can pick your shifts. Cinemas, pubs, supermarkets. I do think you are making excuses. Get in somewhere and make it work for you.

My mum worked night shifts in a supermarket when we were young. She took us to school in the morning then grabbed a few hours sleep.

If you could find work in your child’s school I think the wraparound care may be free for staff (at least it is in schools near me).

I'm working on an experimental novel at the moment. But I'm writing a lot for Uni so that doesn't leave a lot of time for personal projects. In the last year I have published in a local magazine and an academic newsletter.

There are a few remote copywriter roles part time on Indeed, worth looking at but you'd really need to put the effort in on CV/application to make sure you hit the requirements.

uk.indeed.com/jobs?q=Remote+Copywriter+%C2%A320%2C000&sc=0kf%3Ajt%28parttime%29%3B&vjk=9640ad3ac4f04665

Oh OP. What was your long term plan for after your degree? Most people don’t have the luxury of just doing a degree because they love it when they have a family to support. Have circumstances changed that mean you now have to work when you didn’t before? What did you do before your DS was born?

Keeping your DS out of wraparound childcare is a luxury most can’t afford even with ND DCs. If you wish to work without wraparound care, the answer is evening work.

But, if you don’t really want to work and your family can get by on one income it would be easier to just make that active decision instead of wondering if you’re being difficult (because, on balance, yes you’re being difficult).

Even if OP does this, writing pay is pretty shit.

.i have spent a commute dreaming of a creative writing degree but...bills!

Anyway, OP, I did a useless degree but did it at evening classes so at least I earned while doing it. I'm sure you can find work to fit round your other commitments. Lots of people work part time to accommodate their DC needs.

I can't help wondering how you ended up here...was the agreement you'd be a SAHM? I appreciate it's hard to give that up.

Most of the assignments are creative based, producing our own creative pieces both fiction and nonfiction, yes.

Do you mind me asking why you don't qualify because, based on the information you've already given on this thread, the only element that could mean you're not eligible is if you're not a permanent resident? Is that the case because, if so, that might impact the suggestions people are giving you with respect to employment.

From what you've said, you meet all the other criteria:

• you’re a full-time student
• your child must be under 15, or under 17 if they have special educational needs
• you get undergraduate student finance based on your household income, or are eligible to
• you’re not getting a Postgraduate Loan
• you’re a permanent resident in England
• the children in your grant application are financially dependent on you
• your childcare provider is on the Ofsted Early Years Register or General Childcare Register - check with your provider
• if your child is cared for at home, the carer cannot be a relative and must be registered with an appropriate body - check with Student Finance England
• neither you or your partner are claiming Tax-Free Childcare, the childcare element of working Tax Credit or Universal Credit
• neither you or your partner receive help with childcare costs from the National Health Service (NHS)

You've said you're a full time student, with a child under 15, doing an undergraduate degree, claiming a student loan, not using any childcare. Maybe you were told you aren't eligible by mistake?

May I suggest not limiting your search to 15 miles & looking for remote working jobs. Increasing numbers of purely wfh roles which are potentially flexible enough for you to work before & after school run but still do a full day or at least work more hours coz you have no commute

Enter every literary competition you can, but bear in mind that many have entrance fees.

Some have a bit of prize money but mainly, do it to make yourself a more publishable author when you finish the novel. Slightly concerned by the term ‘experimental’ but hey, the literary world is always after something fresh.

Don’t rely on potential publication for money though, advances rarely happen and if they do they’re shit (5-10k) for a debut, and the industry takes an age for anything to happen.

You need to be more flexible and get a job.

Your son is only in reception, is it perhaps worth thinking about moving him to somewhere with better wraparound care? Otherwise it seems like you're going to really struggle to work for the next 7 years and it sounds like financially that's not an option.

1 million times this!!!!!!

*many a commute, that should say!

I had a daily writing thread on here but then mum fell ill, so that's that. Most of us will find writing is a luxury we can't afford.

Move schools to one that offers after school club? We chose our DCs primary school purely on the basis that they had an after school club until 6pm.

If you can write copy I see no reason why you can't earn what you want/need to in marketing on 9.30-2.

Term time and school hours would be a bit of a tall ask though.