To think a mother doesn’t just walk away from her crying daughter?

[Whatlove]

I’m really upset.
My DS is on his fourth stinking cold since September. He’s been coughing all
weekend and none of us got any sleep. He’s 13 but I feel like we’ve gone back in time to when he was at nursery and got every infection going.

We were meant to be going on a family day out today but as DS is unwell my DH and older son went without us. After I dropped them off my mum saw me get out of car (she was walking home past my house after shopping) and asked what was wrong. I clearly looked awful. I said how worried about DS being unwell again I am, how it was overwhelming constantly worrying if he’s well enough to go to school, how he’s had time off already and school aren’t happy etc etc I said we’d been looking forward to our day out and instead we’re stuck at home.

She could see how upset I was (the tears would be a giveaway) but muttered something about giving him vitamins (I already do) said bye and walked off.

I can’t imagine leaving my child (even a grown up child!) visibly upset without saying something or offering to come in & make them a cup of tea or generally offer some comfort. Didn’t even ask or want to see poor DS. She lives round the corner from me & wasn’t rushing off anywhere so not a time thing.

I don’t know why I’m so upset. My childhood was spent with no emotional support, she can only do superficial chit chat, nothing serious. I guess I just want a mum. I really don’t want to see her anymore, what’s the point.

Agree with this.

'Poor'?
He's got a cold. It's cold season. He's 13. I don't see why you're crying over your teenage sons cold, unless there's a backstory here?

Sorry but you do sound very melodramatic.

Some nasty cunts on here tonight!

OP even without your update, you were clearly overwhelmed in the moment and I can't imagine my mother simply walking away from me like that

I'm in my 40s and she would have dropped everything to give me a hug and tell me it'll all be ok. Sometimes that's just what you need

I hope your son feels better 💐

I don’t think you are being dramatic at all and I think some posts have been really mean. An ill child is always upsetting and worrying whatever their age. I would be very upset if my mother treated me like this, really sad and awful. I think about when my kids are older and they have kids and I can’t bear thought of treating them and their kids like this. You are totally right to feel the way you do, if I saw a random neighbor crying I would be worried, let alone my own child! Please ignore the really un kind posters, totally un called for!

Found another one

Oh so melodramatic to worry over a child who has a brain tumour and has been ill with virus after virus for months. I expect you wouldn’t give a toss if it was your kid then?

Whatever.

I say that as a mum to a cancer baby.
It just sounds like too much.

Sadly it does happen and I’m sorry your mum is like that😞

I was severely abused from a very young age by my dm. Mostly emotional . Small
amount of physical but the physical when it happened was severe.

I still see her sometimes, very very occasionally and she would do the same she actually gets pleasure seeing me upset

Your feelings are valid OP!

Please ignore all the snide and vile comments calling you dramatic. Its not nice to see children ill. No matter how old they are. There are some nasty viruses going round, not to mention all the scaremongering for Strep A at the moment. You feel helpless.

To be visibly upset and your own mother not to take notice and just walk off is awful. But, hopefully she just didn’t realise how upset you were. When your already tired and worried it’s easy to get more upset and react stronger to things.

Please don’t take it to heart. Tomorrow is a new day. I hope your son is on the mend soon and you all are able to have a decent sleep.

My child had an actual malignant tumor.

All children are ill for ages now. Both mine are.

Awful attitude. Doesn’t give you the right to berate and be nasty other mothers just because you’re a cancer baby mum.

Ah, the massive dripfeed explains your anxiety.
It's tough when your Mum isn't who you'd want her to be.
Hope your son fares better health wise in the New Year.

Agreed.
OP if it's constant back to back colds, surely you just dose him up and send him in?

Stinking colds aren't nice but they shouldn't stop him going to school. If he is that unwell with a cold then it's probably a flu. Send him in and if he's that dreadfully ill the school will send him home anyway.

Your mum probably didn't want to come in and see a teenager sniffing like it's going out of fashion and catch a cold before Christmas. And as you say If your sons that ill surely he wouldn't appreciate a visit from an emotionally unavailable mother.

There's obviously a back story, but your mum did nothing wrong here.

I agree with you OP I would be hurt if my mum did this to me. It’s natural to worry about your kids and sometimes things get on top of us, for one reason or another. We like to think that someone has our back, and for many people that someone is our mum. So, yeah i think she was pretty shit of your mum to just walk off without even a hug or some words of encouragement or support.

I don’t understand the posters so lacking in empathy and kindness. OP please ignore them. You obviously needed some extra support from your mum and it’s understandable that you felt upset when she didn’t respond with it. It’s perfectly reasonable to feel tired, stressed and upset in your situation - regardless of your sons age. I hope he recovers from his cold soon.

My 3 year old has suffered multiple different illnesses since September, resulting in us missing work because obviously someone has to be gone with him. I’m stressed because of that, but I’m not upset over his health. People and kids get colds, it’s normal. Are you sure there isn’t something else that’s also bothering you? Maybe the extra complication of him being under the weather is just tipping you over?

Are all you nasty twats feeling better now you’ve released some of your venom? The OP wasn’t crying about her son having a cold though was she? She’s overwhelmed due to her son being constantly ill for several months (which is obviously not normal), having to deal with the school absence rigmarole, which is hugely stressful, I’ve been there, and disappointment at her planned lovely family day out ruined. Gods sake, not everyone has a heart of stone you know.
Youre not BU op, I wouldn’t dream of just walking off if one of my daughters were upset, I would have done everything in my power to try and console and cheer them up. I heard a saying once “a mother is only ever as happy as her saddest child” and it rings so true for me.
hope your DS is on the mend soon.

@bendmeoverbackwards no, it's a one off skit about a wife and mother having a bad day who rings her mother and the subsequent conversation. It's very sweet but probably quite dated as it's from a show of which an LP was pressed in 1965 called "You don't have to be Jewish".

ignore the haters OP, we all worry about our children no matter how old they are. It is really hard too when you are drained yourself from picking up the trail of destruction around sickness. You are not being unreasonable to want your mum to have your back. big hugs x

Hillarious!

So I can get slapped in the face with their diagnosis. Pulled it out like a trump card. Wouldn't mention it if I wouldn't be asked how would I feel.

OP asked if she is BU, and I answered. Don't care what YOU think.

That’s really mean.

Its very normal. Do you not read the news? Most people are catching more bugs than in previous years at the moment. Just look at the Strep A and RSV infections now.

God people have started getting really nasty on Mumsnet. You could always just not comment rather than twist the knife in someone who’s already upset.

Op you sound exhausted and drained. Lack of sleep and worry has an awful effect on your mind, I don't have any advice but maybe your dm was just worried about catching something? I hope your boy is well soon, my dd is in her 30s and I still worry about her.

The people here ridiculing and mocking the op shame on you.

There’s constructive and kind ways of saying someone is being unreasonable. Especially from reading the OP, it’s clear she’s exhausted, worried and in need of some support.

YOU are just being plain awful and weirdly argumentative. Not sure what kind of enjoyment you’re getting out of this.