DH won't clean his pan

[Saju1]

I know the title might seem strange, but it is literally this.

My partner is obsessed with having a cast iron pan. The issue I have is that he won't clean it! And just leaves it on the side.

I cleaned it with soap and water with a normal sponge, and he went bolistic, saying I was going to cause rust on it. So I said, teach me...

The way he cleans it is by getting a wet cloth and cleaning the contents, then dries it off with a different cloth. He then grabs a paper towel with oil and covers it, then heats it on the hob until it gets extremely hot! Then leaves it to cool. He then covers it again it oil and places it in the oven until it gets really hot again!

I said I don't have time to be cleaning a pan like this, and that we should buy a normal pan, that just requires soap and water! But he disagrees and says these pans are amazing!! I also have a young baby, and literally do not have time to clean it.

He used this pan again, and it was literally left on the side for a month. I decided to wash it with soap and water, dry it off quickly ( so that no rust is created on the pan) and put it in the cupboard. The next day the pan is out of the cupboard and on the side!!!!

When I ask him when he plans to clean, he always "I will deal with it". And never does!!

AIBU by just throwing this pan away?? Or what should I do??

I am desperate here

Sounds unhygienic. I'd be tempted to get rid of it - especially if he only uses it after you clean it

Going to need some of the posters from this classic cast iron pan thread to chime in.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/4365729-I-am-going-to-launch-DP-into-the-SUN-for-this

DP felt like the OP of that thread when SIL took it on herself to wash our teapot. It took weeks for tea to taste right again.

That was years ago and she hasn't been allowed unsupervised access to it since.

My DH has one of these. He cleans it v promptly because he knows otherwise it’ll go in the dishwasher, every.single.time.

This. I know its frustrating, but @Cornettoninja is correct finding a place for it to live so you don't have to look at it seems like the best solution.

I’ve got a cast iron pan that was my mums - it must be 30 years old - it’s never been seasoned, would go through our dishwasher but now it’s broken and I refuse to get a new one (that’s another story tho) so it gets washed with fairy along with everything else!

Put it in a plastic bag and put it in the cupboard….don’t waste any more energy discussing it with him. Then buy your own pan.

The whole point of seasoning them is that you do so occasionally and then just use and clean it in between. He is being totally over the top.

I would use it in the garden as a bird bath or planter.

if it’s left on the side unwashed for more than half a day I’d put it a plastic bag and put it in a cupboard somewhere until he’s ready to deal with it. Repeat every time it is left out

1. wash it your way until he learns that he needs to get there first and deal with it or
2. sling it in a bin bag, tie/ seal the bag and bung it at the bottom of the stack of pans until he uses it. Out of sight, out of mind.

Don't bin a good pan!

But yourself a pan. Tell him if he wants to use/cook with that pan, he'll have to clean it or it's going on his pillow every time.

Reading this and wondering if my dp has a second family. My dp is obsessed with his cast iron pan.
The key thing is for it not to stay wet, otherwise it’s fine, whether or not it’s been re-greased.
I get round his obsession with ‘seasoning’ it by washing it, drying it and putting it away before he has time to think it exists.

Next time, stick it under the nearest hedge for the rats to clean it.

Then buy new dishwasher safe pans.

A cast iron pan makes a handy blunt object. How you clean the blood off afterwards is up to you.

😂😂😂

I'd get him an enameeled cast iron pan for christmas. It goes in the dishwasher. If you shop at Tesco they x clubcar vouchers by 3 which makes it much more affordable.

Ahhh @BarbaraofSeville that’s one of my favourite classic threads! It’s a rollercoaster of emotion - rage, frustration, disbelief, despair, contentment, joy! And everything in between. 😊

I love my cast iron pans.

This is a situation where you need to match your belongings to your season of life. With very young dc it’s normal to put away breakables, small choking hazards, lock up the sharp things and maybe even put foam pads on the furniture. It’s not a stage that lasts forever.

When time and energy are precious commodities it makes sense to use items that serve your needs, rather than ones that demand if you more than you can give.

With a small dc you’re already prioritising your efforts, and it’s absolutely reasonable to feel that faffing around with cast iron isn’t worth your while right now.

clearly it’s not actually a priority for him either and that’s fine. But leaving it stinking on the side for weeks isn’t ok either. I’d be making it clear that if it’s not put away, it’s going through the dishwasher. Using it includes cleaning it - just like changing the bin isn’t completed until you’ve put in a new liner, and putting in a wash isn’t finished if you leave the wet clothes sitting inside the machine.

Or just pack it away in the attic with the other things that aren’t suited to this life season

Everything is better festooned with tinsel and with an added bauble or two.

Peeing myself at this!

😂😂😂

This is the type of daily stressor that would eventually give me a heart attack. Can you put the dirty pan in a box and then leave it outside?

Left on the side for more than a day then in the dishwasher it goes. Make this clear to him and then if that happens he can only blame himself.

This is exactly why I sent a cast iron pan straight back to Amazon, after I read the instructions.
No pan is worth that degree if hassle.