DH won't clean his pan

[Saju1]

I know the title might seem strange, but it is literally this.

My partner is obsessed with having a cast iron pan. The issue I have is that he won't clean it! And just leaves it on the side.

I cleaned it with soap and water with a normal sponge, and he went bolistic, saying I was going to cause rust on it. So I said, teach me...

The way he cleans it is by getting a wet cloth and cleaning the contents, then dries it off with a different cloth. He then grabs a paper towel with oil and covers it, then heats it on the hob until it gets extremely hot! Then leaves it to cool. He then covers it again it oil and places it in the oven until it gets really hot again!

I said I don't have time to be cleaning a pan like this, and that we should buy a normal pan, that just requires soap and water! But he disagrees and says these pans are amazing!! I also have a young baby, and literally do not have time to clean it.

He used this pan again, and it was literally left on the side for a month. I decided to wash it with soap and water, dry it off quickly ( so that no rust is created on the pan) and put it in the cupboard. The next day the pan is out of the cupboard and on the side!!!!

When I ask him when he plans to clean, he always "I will deal with it". And never does!!

AIBU by just throwing this pan away?? Or what should I do??

I am desperate here

🤣🤣🤣

Leave his pet pan for him to deal with. If it’s still dirty next time he wants to use it, tough.

You can clean them @whatsup00 - don't be put off.

I've had cast iron pans for 2 decades.
They don't need seasoning every time (the oiled 'blind baking' routine that OP's DH does) - especially if you deal with them immediately & then re-oil.

I even soak mine in water & washing up liquid, sometimes overnight! - which might make the purists fall onto their fainting couches, but a quick scrub & a re-oil & they're good to go. I'll warrant mine are in better condition that the DH's - which have been left to rot & choke up with debris for weeks on end.

That's how you look after a cast iron skillet. Leave him to it. The alternative is a Teflon frying pan, which has links with cancer causing chemicals.

See, I couldn't get het up over DH not cleaning his pan. I'd also sling it in the garden.

What does boil my piss though is when DH washes up his pan/plate/cup/spoon but fails to deal with any of the other family washing up.

If you ever divorce, this will be one of the memories you look back on when thinking about how annoying your ex was and how happy you are to be single. Treasure it for that alone.

I certainly wouldn't want dirty pans left on my kitchen surfaces and I wouldn't put it away dirty either.

Choice is what I'd give him..
He can clean it how he sees fit.
I'll clean it how I see fit with dish soap/water, dry it, and hoping the oven is still warm from cooking shove it in there to dry completely.
Or it goes outside/in the garage until he can be bothered to see to it.

I have a roasting tin which isn’t cast iron (don’t know what it is) but I’ve achieved pretty much the same seasoning thing with it. It’s used almost exclusively for roast potatoes, nothing ever sticks to it and after each use all it gets is a wipe with kitchen roll. I love it. Sorry to derail.

But because it’s so quick and easy to clean, it’s usually cleaned and put away before anything else. Why is he leaving his pan laying around on the side?

My pan is decades old and so thoroughly seasoned that it can in fact be washed with soap without harm. However it is so shiny smooth that it rarely needs more than water. It gets re-seasoned only by me cooking with it.

Most of the stuff on the internet about these pans apply to poor quality pans...

MiL had one of these. Complete PITA. I wouldn’t clean it for him - just leave it for him. Or if that looks too grim, stick it in a plastic bag in a cupboard.

The cleaning of the pan is not really relevant.

Why does he leave it, is because he wants his maid to clean it? If so, leave it. FIL was like that and since late MIL passed away he’s learned he can make a cup of tea and wash pans/plates etc.

My DH uses a small pan for porridge. Always burns the porridge, always leaves the pan to soak. I don’t get involve in the porridge drama so he has to was the pan every morning before he can get his breakfast.

Buy a new pan. Stick his in a carrier bag and shove it in the garage/shed.

I wonder how far you could wang the pan down the garden? You know, with a little bit of a run-up..?

Obviously, try not to aim at the greenhouse.

It's a cast iron pan and that's "seasoning", it's a chef thing. I use one as it released dietary iron into the food and you can cook nice big meals, but I don't have a husband, they are very annoying, and if I did have one he would not be allowed in the kitchen.

Another vote for slinging it into the garden.

How to Clean Cast Iron Cookware

I've not found them a pain at all - just wipe, scrape if food stuck on or very small amount of washing up liquid. I've also had to re-season a pan and that was straight forward of a little time consuming.

There are increasing concerns about non-stick chemicals - it's probably fine in an intact non stick surface but anything else a worn coming away surface then don't use.

Giving due warning - if left on the side for longer than 3 hrs it goes in the bin - (then put it in a neighbours bin so he can’t retrieve it) problem solved.

He then grabs a paper towel with oil and covers it, then heats it on the hob until it gets extremely hot! Then leaves it to cool. He then covers it again it oil and places it in the oven until it gets really hot again!

That's the re-seasoning bit and shouldn't need doing every time though might if you'd taken the seasoning layer off (which I did manage to do so had to re-season)

What an absolute palaver. I have a cast iron Le Creuset pot which I wash in the sink and have had it for 18 years, still great condition. I don't want a load of manky food residue baked into the bottom, thanks.

A4 card..
Make a sign.
This pan has been here since <insert date he left it here >
And ignore it. Totally not your responsibility..

Crikey!

Can you imagine what it will be like in summer if it isn't washed/ cleaned/ serviced/ valeted/ whatever?

The SMELL!

The FLIES!

The WASPS!

The random VERMIN!

Nonononononononononono!

He cleans it and he puts it away. Even if it was an ordinary bog standard pan, he shouldn't leave his washing up for you. If he doesn't clean it, then you can do what you like with it - sling it, scrub it, grind the filth off with a Black and Decker . . . - your job, jour choice!

If it's cast iron you're not meant to clean it... it needs to be seasoned. You basically just ruined his pan.

I have 4 cast iron pans in regular use and several more used occasionally and hung on the wall. Almost all of them have been in my family for at least four generations, one potentially much longer. Anyway- he has no idea what he's doing, he's heard bits of advice but is mixing things up and making it harder than it needs to be. If the pan is decently seasoned, a little soap isn't going to hurt it, and while it's best practice to heat it to dry, you don't need to do it every single time.

How I use mine? Cook with it. Most of the time, I just need to wait for it to cool and then literally wipe it out with a kitchen towel- takes two seconds and for those of you who are grossed out- heat sanitises, and you should actually worry about the cancer chemicals in your zoflora/fabric softener/reed diffusers/etc. Anyway. If I've cooked something with water or acid (tomato or vinegar) or if I've used it to cook in the oven and there's some baked on bits, it goes in the sink and I run some water in it with a teeny dab of dish soap -ideally while the pan is still warm but not screaming hot because the shock of quickly cooling in water has a tiny chance to crack the pan. I scrub it out with a dish brush, and scrape any stubborn bits with the flat scrapy edge of the same brush. Finally I dry it out with whatever cloth is to hand. If it has a sheen and the seasoning looks healthy, great. If it looks a little dry or rough, I heat it up on the stove and pour a little oil in, rub it around with a kitchen towel, and then let it cool. Any kind of oil or fat is fine, really, but some people always use higher heat oils like peanut or grapeseed. And if I am in a hurry or if I need to tidy away before I have time to oil it, I just leave it as is and oil it before the next time I use it instead. It will 100% not rust unless it is literally left for years, or unless there is no seasoning or seasoning only in patches and it's left with water standing in it.

I also totally reseason my most-used pans every few years- not because the cooking surface needs it, but because it starts to get flakey layers of carbon on the bottom and sides from cooking on gas. THAT is a hassle which starts with days soaking in a dangerous lye bucket outdoors and ends with several rounds of heating and oiling in a screaming hot oven. But daily use and care is not the faff that men (why is it always men?) make it out to be.

It would be unreasonable to throw it out, but it's reasonable to make him care for it himself.

Wrap it in a plastic bag so it won’t make anything else dirty and put it in a cupboard. A tied bin bag preferably. Keep putting it back like this if it’s removed and repeat like a broken record you are not looking at a dirty pan everyday, repeat it over and over without saying anything else until he gives up.