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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH won't clean his pan

187 replies

Saju1 · 09/12/2022 10:44

I know the title might seem strange, but it is literally this.

My partner is obsessed with having a cast iron pan. The issue I have is that he won't clean it! And just leaves it on the side.

I cleaned it with soap and water with a normal sponge, and he went bolistic, saying I was going to cause rust on it. So I said, teach me...

The way he cleans it is by getting a wet cloth and cleaning the contents, then dries it off with a different cloth. He then grabs a paper towel with oil and covers it, then heats it on the hob until it gets extremely hot! Then leaves it to cool. He then covers it again it oil and places it in the oven until it gets really hot again!

I said I don't have time to be cleaning a pan like this, and that we should buy a normal pan, that just requires soap and water! But he disagrees and says these pans are amazing!! I also have a young baby, and literally do not have time to clean it.

He used this pan again, and it was literally left on the side for a month. I decided to wash it with soap and water, dry it off quickly ( so that no rust is created on the pan) and put it in the cupboard. The next day the pan is out of the cupboard and on the side!!!!

When I ask him when he plans to clean, he always "I will deal with it". And never does!!

AIBU by just throwing this pan away?? Or what should I do??

I am desperate here

OP posts:
Trollsintheforest · 09/12/2022 14:05

KettrickenSmiled · 09/12/2022 13:54

Genius.

Out it goes OP - with a festive poinsettia planted jauntily in it.

Show quote history

Might as well get some use of it 😂

SheWoreYellow · 09/12/2022 14:08

DappledThings · 09/12/2022 13:01

Where do you get dish soap from? And what is it? Sorry if I’m being thick, I did look on Sainsbury’s before asking.
Just another name for washing-up liquid!

Oh how funny! I’ve seen it occasionally mentioned before and presumed it was a different product. Like sugar soap. Is it a regional/age thing I wonder.

Fairislefandango · 09/12/2022 17:05

It's what Americans call washing-up liquid!

stuntbubbles · 09/12/2022 17:12

My husband genuinely uses this as a way of cleaning almost anything! He reckons the wind and sand (we live near the shore) will clean it. I've lost count of the expensive things he has ruined when he has been asked to clean something. First he puts it on the kitchen floor and then he sneaks it outside.
Is he a fucking raccoon.

BarrelOfOtters · 09/12/2022 17:18

stuntbubbles · 09/12/2022 17:12

My husband genuinely uses this as a way of cleaning almost anything! He reckons the wind and sand (we live near the shore) will clean it. I've lost count of the expensive things he has ruined when he has been asked to clean something. First he puts it on the kitchen floor and then he sneaks it outside.
Is he a fucking raccoon.

😂😂

FOJN · 09/12/2022 18:06

Why are you desperate?

His pan, his fucking problem. Move it anywhere you like to put it of the way and ignore it. I'd be tempted to have some fun and move it to a different place in the house everyday it remains unwashed, bed one day, shower the next, on his car seat etc. I'd also be tempted to put the cat among the pigeons and, just for fun, ask if he's considered carbon steel

I can't believe how many people here are giving YOU advice on how to properly look after HIS pan, seriously, fuck that. Your husband is being a prick and you didn't volunteer to be care taker of the cast iron, refuse to have the job foisted upon you. If he wants cast iron he can look after it.

Buy something you're happy to use and is easy to look after. If he complains you can tell him your life is too short to pamper a pan no matter how good it is.

LazyJayne · 09/12/2022 18:19

The dirty man
Won’t wash his pan
I’m not a fan

SheWoreYellow · 09/12/2022 21:15

Fairislefandango · 09/12/2022 17:05

It's what Americans call washing-up liquid!

Ohhhh! That would be why I’ve never heard anyone say it IRL

hennaoj · 09/12/2022 21:23

How odd, I've been cleaning my Le Cruset like it's a regular pan with washing up liquid for over 20 years and it's fine.

Yarnosaura · 09/12/2022 21:50

hennaoj · 09/12/2022 21:23

How odd, I've been cleaning my Le Cruset like it's a regular pan with washing up liquid for over 20 years and it's fine.

Most (all?) Le Creuset cast iron stuff is enamelled, so doesn't need seasoning.

Haffiana · 09/12/2022 21:52

hennaoj · 09/12/2022 21:23

How odd, I've been cleaning my Le Cruset like it's a regular pan with washing up liquid for over 20 years and it's fine.

Le Creusets are enamelled. Completely different from an uncoated cast or spun iron pan.

Fairislefandango · 09/12/2022 21:57

Most (all?) Le Creuset cast iron stuff is enamelled, so doesn't need seasoning.

I have a Le Creuset frying pan. It's enamelled on the outside but plain cast iron on the inside. I wash it normally, but it does stay in better condition with a wipe of oil once it's dry.

Haffiana · 09/12/2022 22:01

It isn't plain cast iron on the inside. It is a special matte black enamel.

Fraaahnces · 09/12/2022 23:21

Honestly, he’d be getting put in his briefcase/golf bag/cycling shorts/car seat/pillow repeatedly until he realised how much it pissed you off being left with it. That, or it would be hurled repeatedly out the back door.

Purple52 · 10/12/2022 10:20

I’d stick it in the garden or outside the front door (in the hope the scrap man might collect it!)

Purple52 · 10/12/2022 10:23

I’ve had enamelled cast iron pans and decided they’re just too damn heavy!

I now have cast aluminium pans with an induction compatible base. And non stick surfaces.
dishwasher or wash up. Job done.

& goes in the oven. So good I have two skillet shape and another smaller & taller!

…. Lakeland.

Blowthemandown · 10/12/2022 10:31

@Saju1 let him use and season ‘his’ pan. Get yourself a pan (we have the scoville non stick, often on 50% offer) that you can clean in seconds. Agree where pans will be kept. Say when it comes to pans you are responsible for your own regardless of whose turn it to wash up etc.

MrsMontyD · 10/12/2022 10:32

I wash mine (in case anyone has cooked meat in it) a quick clean with some washing up liquid and a sponge, dry off fully and a wipe over with some oil and it's absolutely fine. In my experience they only need re seasoning a couple of times a year.

MysteryBelle · 10/12/2022 10:36

Sounds like he’s in love w his cast iron pan. No need to season it every single time once it’s been seasoned after buying it new. He needs to clean it w a wire scrubber and oiled paper towel or similar a few minutes after use. Then put it away. He is putting off the cleaning because he thinks it is so involved but it’s really not. Tell him cleanup should be quick and you don’t want to see that ugly pan on your counter.

Iwanttoslowdown · 10/12/2022 10:36

The problem is the pan is LEFT on the side Dirty.
That is grim. So you either say he washed it and puts it away within a day or you fine a nook bag it up dirty and sling it out of sight.

HelloBunny · 10/12/2022 10:39

Same thing here. Have two of them. Big heavy things taking up cupboard space... He used them a few times in the beginning & did the oil thing once or twice. Then left them dirty. I just cleaned them & applied some oil. I just use all of my normal pans (so does he) & ignore them. He has wrecked a couple of woks, leaving them dirty, which is annoying!

littlepeas · 10/12/2022 10:40

I saw the title of this thread out of the corner of my eye and thought it said 'dh won't clean his penis'. I think I need to go back to sleep!

millymog11 · 10/12/2022 10:45

Haven't read the whole thread so apologies if this has been asked already (but so far as I can see OP has not posted again so if it has it has not been answered) but in relation to your comment OP "I also have a young baby, and literally do not have time to clean it."
Is this young baby your husbands child? Is this a thread about a lack of balance of domestic chores where there are childcare duties.

iwasaterribleteen · 10/12/2022 10:46

Tell hi that if he leaves it there you will put it in the dishwasher or wash it using washing up liquid.

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