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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH won't clean his pan

187 replies

Saju1 · 09/12/2022 10:44

I know the title might seem strange, but it is literally this.

My partner is obsessed with having a cast iron pan. The issue I have is that he won't clean it! And just leaves it on the side.

I cleaned it with soap and water with a normal sponge, and he went bolistic, saying I was going to cause rust on it. So I said, teach me...

The way he cleans it is by getting a wet cloth and cleaning the contents, then dries it off with a different cloth. He then grabs a paper towel with oil and covers it, then heats it on the hob until it gets extremely hot! Then leaves it to cool. He then covers it again it oil and places it in the oven until it gets really hot again!

I said I don't have time to be cleaning a pan like this, and that we should buy a normal pan, that just requires soap and water! But he disagrees and says these pans are amazing!! I also have a young baby, and literally do not have time to clean it.

He used this pan again, and it was literally left on the side for a month. I decided to wash it with soap and water, dry it off quickly ( so that no rust is created on the pan) and put it in the cupboard. The next day the pan is out of the cupboard and on the side!!!!

When I ask him when he plans to clean, he always "I will deal with it". And never does!!

AIBU by just throwing this pan away?? Or what should I do??

I am desperate here

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 09/12/2022 10:47

Don’t clean it
Put it away dirty

BMW6 · 09/12/2022 10:49

Well his way of cleaning it is correct, just as you would with a wok.

BUT his neglect in leaving it dirty on the side is not on. Tell him it gets cleaned and put away along with the other washing up (assuming it's his turn to wash up) or you will throw it away.

If it's your turn to wash up you clean it as he does, which is correct for a cast iron pan.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 09/12/2022 10:49

you don’t clean cast iron in the traditional sense! You’ll ruin it!!!

Yarnosaura · 09/12/2022 10:50

You don't need to season an iron pan every time. And even if it does get a bit rusty you just re-oil it and it's fine. He's being a twat.

3jane · 09/12/2022 10:50

I have a cast iron pan I put in the dishwasher. I know, anathema. Anyway it’s at least 9 years old and it’s bloody fine, if he won’t clean it clean it however you damn well want.

Cornettoninja · 09/12/2022 10:51

Not that I’ve got one, there’s a fan base for this type of pan (cast iron I think). What you described is ‘seasoning’ and no they shouldn’t be washed. They don’t need seasoning every single time either as far as I know.

Talk to him to find a place for it to live where you don’t have to look at it and leave him to it.

Regularsizedrudy · 09/12/2022 10:52

You don’t wash cast iron with dish soap it needs seasoning which is what he is doing. He shouldn’t leave it out though.

Fenella123 · 09/12/2022 10:53

I would be tempted to put it on the driving seat of his car if it's not clean by end of day!

And get a more conventional pan for yourself.

The end goal is, you don't want a dirty pan hanging around attracting germs and vermin. So anything which gets it out of the house if not clean is a potential solution...

Note, it's possible, even preferable, to stay calm and polite through all of this but insist it's not acceptable to leave dirty pans uncleaned for over a day.

BarrelOfOtters · 09/12/2022 10:53

He's right about cleaning it - and you probably do have to season it most times (the oiling and heating) for the first few uses till it's built up a patina. If he's not a complete twat then He could spend a couple of hours one afternoon doing that and then you don't ever need to clean it again. You just wipe it out with an oiled bit of kitchen paper and put away.

MontyDonsBlueScarf · 09/12/2022 10:54

This explains the process
www.vonhaus.com/vh_en/blog/cast-iron-care-guide.html?gclid=Cj0KCQiA1sucBhDgARIsAFoytUs5euWEyjx5ttZ-akxcd1tUzsrfHb2-YHgXDhFKsJRTQT-gzTizjR4aAuGKEALw_wcB
You need to agree between you when the pan just gets wiped and when it gets re-seasoned. But if you keep washing it, it will need re-seasoning more frequently.

ouch321 · 09/12/2022 10:55

All sounds very unclean his way of doing it. Authentic or not.

I don't see how a dish can be clean without coming into contact with water+Fairy.

Brefugee · 09/12/2022 10:55

he's not wrong about not washing it. But all you need to do is heat it up again and give it a good wipe round with either a clean dry cloth, or kitchen paper.

If it has burnt on scraps a bit of oil while heating it up and a wipe round as described.

Better still wipe it round while still hot after being used.

Shemovesshemoves21 · 09/12/2022 10:55

We have a cast iron pan and it was great, but a complete bleeding ball ache to clean and take care of. I'd suggest he cleans it up after use if he doesn't like your method!

StrawberryWater · 09/12/2022 10:56

Just go and buy your own set of pans. Asda and Tesco do some good ones as doe Dunhelm Mill.

Leave his cast iron pan to him. Tell him that if it's up to him to wash it and take care of it but that if it's left on the side unwashed for a month again it's going in the rubbish bin. To leave it that long without cleaning it is disgusting.

All you need to do to look after them properly is wash them in normal water after each use, dry thoroughly and add a small coat of oil (a half teaspoon at most). That's it. What your oh is doing is seasoning and oven repairing his pans because he's not looking after them properly and leaving them to rot after each wash. Grim.

Orangesatsuma · 09/12/2022 10:57

How long does he leave it out for?

Orangesatsuma · 09/12/2022 10:58

Oh sorry a month, that’s just wrong! I’d have thrown it out.

CrownTheTurkey · 09/12/2022 10:58

Just shove it in the cupboard dirty. He can sort it himself when he wants to use it.
problem solved.

StrawberryWater · 09/12/2022 10:58

StrawberryWater · 09/12/2022 10:56

Just go and buy your own set of pans. Asda and Tesco do some good ones as doe Dunhelm Mill.

Leave his cast iron pan to him. Tell him that if it's up to him to wash it and take care of it but that if it's left on the side unwashed for a month again it's going in the rubbish bin. To leave it that long without cleaning it is disgusting.

All you need to do to look after them properly is wash them in normal water after each use, dry thoroughly and add a small coat of oil (a half teaspoon at most). That's it. What your oh is doing is seasoning and oven repairing his pans because he's not looking after them properly and leaving them to rot after each wash. Grim.

*and leaving them to rot after each use.

Doggydarling · 09/12/2022 11:03

Have you got a garden? If you have just bung the pan out there every time he leaves it lying around, say it was starting to smell.

TheYummyPatler · 09/12/2022 11:07

You can clean a properly seasoned pan the way you did. Soap won’t remove the seasoning. Nor will a standard sponge. See here: www.seriouseats.com/how-to-clean-maintain-cast-iron-pan-skillet-cookware

If fact, the way he’s doing it, he’s probably trapping layers of food residue in with his many, many layers of seasoning.

But, just ignore his bloody pan entirely. Put it in a cupboard.

Theunamedcat · 09/12/2022 11:11

To quote my teen yeet it open the door and slang it forth

StrikeandRobin · 09/12/2022 11:14

Doggydarling · 09/12/2022 11:03

Have you got a garden? If you have just bung the pan out there every time he leaves it lying around, say it was starting to smell.

I was coming on to say I’d be slinging it in the garden!

Soothsayer1 · 09/12/2022 11:15

Stop discussing it, let it be his problem, forget about the pan, you've got more important things to think about
If he wants saucepans to be his hobby let him crack on

forrestgreen · 09/12/2022 11:17

Buy and use your own pan.

Leave him to wash his own, even if it takes a month!

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 09/12/2022 11:20

People, it is fine to use dish soap on your cast iron. Dish soap isn't strong with lye anymore so it's not going to strip the seasoning.

OP - get a scrubby brush thing, I find those are best with cast iron (especially for those that won't use soap Hmm). Get him to put a nail on the wall so it can be hung up when not in use if he won't put it away.

Also tell him that it's really grim to not wash a pan and leave it on the side for days or weeks at a time, and if he's not going to take care of it, then he's not responsible enough to use it. Grimy sod.

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