to ask for my money back?

[CanStopWillStop]

I lent my sister’s partner £500 for an engagement ring so it would go undetected (joint bank account) which he said he’d pay back after he popped the question.

that was a month ago and he hasn’t mentioned repayment once since they’ve been engaged. Truthfully, I’m not desperate for the money and i know Christmas is around the corner and things are tight for them. However I would like it back soon and was hoping he would be more proactive in trying to repay me.

I was happy to help but I feel I didn’t set clear enough boundaries as I was excited for my sister and I also assumed he would want to pay me back as soon as possible, and that assumption was wrong. I know if I owed someone a large amount of money I would at least want to explain when/how I will pay that person back.

AIBU asking for the money back? And how do I go about asking for it back without making this awkward? Or should I wait until after Christmas?

I hope he did turn up Op, but remember that if he didn't, that's on him & not you.

You're right to expect your money back (& shouldn't have had to ask), so it's all his fault / responsibility whatever you decide to do from here.

Personally I'd tell your sister as she deserves to know the kind of person she's marrying. Good luck though as what a horrible position to be in when you were trying to do a nice thing to ensure your sister got a lovely surprise!

I don't think he came back with the money.

Me neither @stonebrambleboy - so upsetting for the Op.

Oh don't worry about it, shit happens. I'll text DS and ask her to transfer it, that's probably easier, isn't it? Accompanied by a smile emoji.

Love that response @Bigdamnheroes

Please tell your sister about this. He lied to you to get you to pay for her engagement ring. If I were her I would be furious that my DP had been begging from my own family behind my back, just so he could make a seemingly expensive gesture.

It would be the first thing he would do surely if he was genuine. He has lied to you in order to get 500 quid from you and he won't give it back because he is banking on you not wanting to tell your sister.

I think you’re overreacting abit and it isn’t helped by some posters egging you on as they enjoy the drama.
How long has it actually been since he borrowed the money? You said yourself you don’t need it, maybe he thought you were quite casual about it?

Did he show up with the money at the weekend op?

Did he show up, OP? @CanStopWillStop

Any update OP?

Ten a bet you’re the type who borrows money and takes forever to pay it back or conveniently forgets to pay it back altogether, justifying in your own mind that you need it more. Ugh.

He gave me the money yesterday, so I had to wait quite a while with a few excuses thrown in. I'm not sure about him now tbh, but I'm just going to keep a close eye.

So glad you got it back. Hopefully, he’s just more casual about these things than you are.

Did your sister find out in the end?

If not, she may well find out in the future if she ever suggests they ask you to lend them some money!

Glad you got your money back. I wouldn't be lending to him again to be honest. I do wonder why he did not wait a few weeks until he could afford to pay you back. I suspect he was hoping you would not ask for it back.

@CanStopWillStop I think you need to talk to other family members in case he has borrowed money from them to repay you.

Glad you got your money back but a pity it's taken such a sour turn.

Nope, I never ever borrow money from anyone

So did he give you the full amount OP, or still just the £300, with the rest to come after Christmas?

Glad you got your money back
Did he give you the whole amount?

Hopefully you received the full amount OP

Exactly ! My thoughts too.

OP is the CF still with your sister? Any more money issues?

Please let me know too, one of the best MN threads of 2022, imo ought to be in classics