To think I should have to look after her sick child?

[Crunchycooki]

My friend asked if I could pick her child up from nursery as she’s working a long shift. I agreed. Got to the nursery today and they told me her mum dropped her off saying she is sick, so if they need to call they can call her. They tried calling all day and no answer from her even though I’ve spoken to her today.

Shes now at my house, very chesty, she’s been sick, she’s falling asleep and says her tummy hurts. I have a younger child and we have just gotten over a horrible week of illness. Mum doesn’t finish work until 9 tonight despite my texts to say she needs to pick her up as she’s not well she apparently can’t leave 😡

You got proper stitched up

This woman is a terrible mother.

I don’t care how tough times are just now. How skint some people are. How many potential warnings she may or may not have gotten at work.

SURELY a mother’s instinct when they see (potentially numerous if they’ve said they were trying to get a hold of mum all day?) missed calls from their child’s nursery is to return the call and make sure the child is okay? To just ignore these calls is absolutely mind blowing to me.

Worst case scenario? The child could have died and her mother would be none the wiser because she is ignoring the calls because work is more important.

A good mothers instinct is to be with her sick child to comfort them and make them feel better. Then deal with any work/financial issues later.

Poor wee soul in her mums friends house sick and crying for her mum with a chesty cough and feeling awful. It really does sound as if the mum doesn’t actually care? Neglectful at best.

I would be severely annoyed and my “friend” would know ALL about it.

This! I’ve had to take 3 weeks out of the last 6 off, or hugely reduced hours due to DC picking stuff up at school, and yes it 100% is school because she’s been so ill every weekend we’ve not been able to do anything else. I can’t afford to take that much time off but I’m a parent and have no family or friends nearby, not that I’d ever put sickness on someone else anyway. Ignoring nursery calls is nothing short of neglect, poor child. How else is she being neglected, left at home alone because mum wants to go out?

Sadly a world where it actually happens, just read about Casey Anthony.

Complete agree with this, cannot believe some of the responses on here.

Remember your disgust at this post the next time you hear of a surgeon cancelling an appointment at a moment’s notice, or an A&E consultant not turning in for a shift at the last minute.

Many jobs require a certain ratio of staff for safe practice- it’s not always possible to cry off work at the last minute. And to give this parent some grace, children can be seemingly a little bit off, but ok, and then go downhill fast, so it’s likely that the child was alright in the morning- otherwise the nursery would not have accepted her. The mother has not just booted her out of the car puking with a raging fever as some of the responses on here would have you imagine.

We don’t know her job so really can’t assume that she is just ignoring calls and texts.

If you are in that sort of job, you just HAVE to have a Plan B. You can't leave nurseries, schools etc to look after your child when they're ill.

@Divebar2021 I used to live abroad and some nurseries there offered 24 hour opening times 7 days a week. So worked well for those who worked night shifts/latest etc.

I think the nursery should have been contacting SS about that.

I think the nursery should have been contacting SS about that.

And said what? "This child has been left with us qualified practitioners in the hours we're paid to look after her and her moms not answering the phone because she's at work"?

I once had a mom picking up her sick child at my place declaring : since X was safe here with you I decided to do my shopping because looks like I will be stuck at home the next few days.

Hope you’ll all be fine 😘

Terrible behaviour! I am so sick of parents sending their kids into nursery unwell. It’s so selfish and it’s why our kids are endlessly ill. I’ve been through two years of hell with my 4 year old being unwell nearly every week because of selfish parents.

What if the child has strep
needs to see a doctor
then you all catch
it
i would

call police and say child is abandoned

Awful for you. Tbh I would wear a mask and maybe get anyone else to if they’re near. Poor kid

That really is a terrible dishonest thing to do. I would have a difficult time forgiving her for that.

That is taking the Michael. Totally selfish to put you in that position. I don't suppose you'll be agreeing to looking after her child again...?

No dad.

there is a dad somewhere, why isn't he being called a feckless father and bitch by those shouting about how awful this mother is? seems its default to shout about awful mothers

That's awful :( I'm sure the little one would want and need her mother being so poorly :(

Not being funny but how could anyone make themselves uncontactable when they have their child in someone else's care? Like besides the obvious morality of it, putting myself in that position, even if I wasn't horrified at the idea of someone not being able to contact me to tell me my DC needs collecting, I'd genuinely be worrying about what their protocol was if they couldn't get hold of me? Like would they phone the police or SS or something??

The other mum did go too far but I think you've been very kind and the little girl will be all the better for having you in her life and she knew she was somewhere safe and cared for. Everyone needs friends at some point in their life.

The absent parent is a dick in his own way for being absent.

That doesn't excuse the fact that however unfair it is that she is in this position, the mother has acted really irresponsibly.

Battyfumworts that story is indeed awful. I’m not sure the relevance though. On the one hand there is a mother in the US who may or may not have murdered her own child. This thread is about a desperate mother taking her sick child to nursery and not being contactable, relying on the goodwill of a friend and perhaps not appreciating the position she put her friend in. Probably right now feeling quite guilty she had to work to make ends meet and wasn’t there for her poorly child. This woman has been called a bitch, a liar, neglectful, not capable of parenting and probably not even at work but out with “some man”. I am talking about what kind of world we live in where people judge this poor woman to be all of those heinous things. It is nothing like the story you reference. And if people’s reaction is to say she deserves it because they once read a story in the news about a single mother and she turned out to be a murderer (maybe) that’s some leap. That’s like me saying I once read about a baker who poisoned her neighbour so I’ll just judge all the other bakers I ever encounter and say they’re all dishonest and all likely to be plotting to poison people. It’s utterly ridiculous.

Your friend is being unreasonable. She is allowed to leave work if her child is sick by law! She might not get paid, but they can't refuse to let her leave. But even more unreasonable is taking her child to school knowing she was sick in the first place! I'm assuming the child is too young to fake it as you needed to pick her up.

You can't leave nurseries, schools etc to look after your child when they're ill.

that is though how the government have set up the system, this mum may have a choice to make, stay at work or lose the job - which could then mean massive debts, homelessness etc further down the line.

Phone 111 and get some advice. As a single mum myself I'm not going to judge the mum as harshly as other people on this thread are. In my job if I don't work I don't get paid, when my son had covid it cost me a week's wages so I can understand dropping their child off and hoping for the best. Take all the toys and give them a good wash before your child next plays with them.

That doesn't excuse the fact that however unfair it is that she is in this position, the mother has acted really irresponsibly.

the op is a responsible adult caring for the child, not an ideal situation but not irresponsible as the child is safe

I can sympathize with that honestly. I do feel bad for her now knowing she has no support network around her. But that was still very dishonest. She’s burning bridges around her though. If she doesn’t have a track record I would let it slide but it shouldn’t happen again.