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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get anxious going into French shops/restaurants when I can't speak French?

204 replies

frenchfail · 07/12/2022 16:20

I went to Paris for the first time this year, and I'm going back soon. It was my first time going abroad so I'm really not well travelled. When I was in Paris I found myself feeling really nervous going into shops and restaurants. I tried to learn a few phrases but would forget to use them or would feel too nervous to attempt to use them.

I went in a few shops and would say 'Bonjour, do you speak English please?' but I felt like that was rude and like I was committing an awful faux pas.

WIBU do continue to say 'Bonjour, do you speak English please?' or do I need to try and learn more French before I go?

OP posts:
GridRock · 07/12/2022 16:21

I haven't been to Paris in 20 years but not knowing any French totally put me off going back (did German in school)

CoffeeBoy · 07/12/2022 16:22

Do you actually say “do you speak English “ in English?

if so then yes I think you should learn some phrases even it’s just parlez vous anglais?

GettingStuffed · 07/12/2022 16:22

Try Duolingo, it's really easy to use and bon chance

CRbear · 07/12/2022 16:23

in my experience doesn’t matter what you do it will be wrong. Paris is not a very friendly place.

sevenbyseven · 07/12/2022 16:24

I speak French but nearly all restaurant staff reply to me in English anyway so I wouldn't worry oersonallt.

Funkyblues101 · 07/12/2022 16:24

You are very much relying on them speaking English, aren't you? No need to get nervous or anxious, just accept that it's embarrassing being a stereotype of a Brit that expects everyone else to speak English. You either learn some phrases to reduce that embarrassment or you don't.

Cheesuswithallama · 07/12/2022 16:24

would feel too nervous to attempt to use them.
You need to get over that if you want to use the phrases. Not sure why you are so nervous

I am not really sure what the issue is here? If you are tourist you are not expected to learn the local language before holidays.... You have dictionary on a phone, if no wifi you can always carry few phrases around. I do that.

sevenbyseven · 07/12/2022 16:24

"personally" that should say

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/12/2022 16:24

Can you just learn « parlez vous anglais? » ?

That will probably get you a bit further than asking in English.

Have you tried Duolingo to get you a bit of basic French? And some idea of pronunciation. Should be a help.

The main thing I think is to seem like you’re making an effort. People think Parisians are rude and dislike foreigners, which I don’t think is true anyway, but most people you meet in the hospitality industry aren’t Parisian anyway.

parietal · 07/12/2022 16:24

I travel extensively around Europe for work but i speak only English (well, 3-5 stock phrases in each of the other languages). France is the hardest because people do speak English less and seem grumpy at a lack of French. Whereas in the Netherlands / Denmark / Portugal etc, I only have to smile and say "I'm sorry I only speak English" to have the shop assistant immediately switch to fluent English.

Anyway, I just do the same in France. Most shops don't need much talking anyway, and I've learnt to ignore any grumpy looks.

Spendonsend · 07/12/2022 16:25

This is tongue in cheek but my experience of paris is they wont understand you even if you speak really great French that the rest of the counrty understands just fine.
But more seriously a few phrases like 'one of those' or please might be nice.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/12/2022 16:25

Ah, when I started typing that there were no other replies!

underneaththeash · 07/12/2022 16:26

Duolingo is really good if you want to learn a bit more French.
I speak passable French, but I'm not a natural linguist, so it's taken me years to get to an intermediate stage. However, I always speak French on entering a restaurant and get a more friendlier response that others who don't!

MillyMollyManky · 07/12/2022 16:28

Parlez-vous anglais? isn’t hard to learn. After that, switch to google translate.

countrygirl99 · 07/12/2022 16:29

Years ago we took the DC to Paris at Easter. GPs had given them a bit of spending money and 12 yo DS1 wanted to buy a chocolate rabbit. He practiced what to say and went in and asked in French. The assistant haughtily sneered that she could speak perfectly good English. So he asked again in English and she picked up a chocolate chicken. I told her (in French) that her English wasn't all that as she'd got the wrong animal. Took bloody ages before I could get DS to try again.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/12/2022 16:29

We were in Paris recently and doing our best to speak French (Dd and I, less so Ds). We were obviously foreign, but got asked if we were Dutch, which I took as a compliment 😂

RebulahConundrum · 07/12/2022 16:30

You can try to speak French but in my experience they'll just reply in English. I swear they find bad French more insulting than no French at all 😆

Kanaloa · 07/12/2022 16:31

I mean yeah I think it’s rude. I work retail and I’ve never experienced anyone coming up to home and saying ‘hi do you speak Turkish/polish/French.’ Other countries make that extremely basic level of effort so they aren’t seen as ignorant.

How many things do you need to learn to say? How much is this/can I please have x/thank you for your help. Write them down and practice them so that you don’t come across like the type of traveler who thinks everyone should speak English.

Kanaloa · 07/12/2022 16:34

Also, unless you’re Del Trotter, why are you saying ‘bonjour do you speak English?’ There’s no point adding the bonjour - if you’re insistent on speaking only English no matter what country you’re in open with ‘hello’ or ‘hi’ or ‘alright mate.’

Piffpaffpoff · 07/12/2022 16:34

I was in Paris in October and inflicted my 40yo Tricolor French upon staff in many cafes, restaurants and patisseries and I didn’t encounter any rudeness, they were all very patient with me . Some staff switched to English and the rest tolerated my attempts very politely. Google translate is helpful if it gets too tricky, but a cheery Bonjour Madam/M’seur is a good start, even if you then go straight into parlez-vous anglais?

OneFrenchEgg · 07/12/2022 16:35

I wouldn't bother. Most tourist hotspots have people dying to use their English. Travelled a lot, had ridiculous stand offs where I've used my fluent second language and the person has continued to respond in English / pretend not to understand etc. now I don't bother and only use it if we are rural.

Cheesuswithallama · 07/12/2022 16:35

They don't make that extra effort in UK because nearly everyone had some english at some point at schools, but other countries don't really learn when going to non english countries... You take paper with couple of emergency phrases and maybe learn please and thank you.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/12/2022 16:35

Piffpaffpoff · 07/12/2022 16:34

I was in Paris in October and inflicted my 40yo Tricolor French upon staff in many cafes, restaurants and patisseries and I didn’t encounter any rudeness, they were all very patient with me . Some staff switched to English and the rest tolerated my attempts very politely. Google translate is helpful if it gets too tricky, but a cheery Bonjour Madam/M’seur is a good start, even if you then go straight into parlez-vous anglais?

Ah wonderful, Tricolour! Did you tell them you were from La Rochelle? 😁

CoffeeBoy · 07/12/2022 16:39

RebulahConundrum · 07/12/2022 16:30

You can try to speak French but in my experience they'll just reply in English. I swear they find bad French more insulting than no French at all 😆

Dh says this and it puts him off trying French. But in fairness his French isn’t great but I tell him that they’re just trying to be helpful and that they’ll be pleased he tries.

they generally keep talking in French to me, I’m sure I have a shocking accent but my vocabulary and sentence construction is good.

we went to Barcelona once and had the added stress of do we try Spanish or Catalan. We spoke neither and it was before Google translate or even smart phones. We had a dictionary! I ordered an apple juice and got an apple salad 😁. Nobody seemed to speak English which is fair enough

CoffeeBoy · 07/12/2022 16:40

Piffpaffpoff · 07/12/2022 16:34

I was in Paris in October and inflicted my 40yo Tricolor French upon staff in many cafes, restaurants and patisseries and I didn’t encounter any rudeness, they were all very patient with me . Some staff switched to English and the rest tolerated my attempts very politely. Google translate is helpful if it gets too tricky, but a cheery Bonjour Madam/M’seur is a good start, even if you then go straight into parlez-vous anglais?

Bet you can ask for directions to the beach, swimming pool and train station perfectly 👍🏻😁