To get anxious going into French shops/restaurants when I can't speak French?

[frenchfail]

I went to Paris for the first time this year, and I'm going back soon. It was my first time going abroad so I'm really not well travelled. When I was in Paris I found myself feeling really nervous going into shops and restaurants. I tried to learn a few phrases but would forget to use them or would feel too nervous to attempt to use them.

I went in a few shops and would say 'Bonjour, do you speak English please?' but I felt like that was rude and like I was committing an awful faux pas.

WIBU do continue to say 'Bonjour, do you speak English please?' or do I need to try and learn more French before I go?

I’d ditch Paris and go to Germany instead. Much nicer people, much cleaner places and much easier language.
Paris is full of miserable sods (I have family there and Berlin. I have to be dragged to Paris). Germans are so helpful if you try, the French sneer.

Yes, which is why I said learning a few phrases would be helpful.

As an able linguist in French & German I have absolutely no idea how I would learn even a few sentences in a very complex language like Chinese, Greek or Russian for example, if I was to visit - although I’m sure I could learn hello, please & thank you etc.
But great that you can - it obviously makes travelling much easier.

Totally agree! I feel quite exposed/rude if I go to a country with no language skills at all. As a minimum I will always learn hello, please, thank you, excuse me etc. That includes China, Hong Kong and Norway, all sorts of places. I was in Iceland last week and a waiter spoke to us in Icelandic and they were enough similarities with Norwegian for me to guess what he asked and answer back correctly. I can do 'taxi instructions' (stop here please, on the left, etc), food, drinks, etc in lots of languages, especially the Scandi ones. You want to ask for a carrier bag in a Norwegian supermarket? I'm your woman. 😂 I really enjoy learning more words and the locals seem happy to teach me (well, apart from those pesky Parisians)

@HundredMilesAnHour Seriously it's a great story and I think it's also the way you are telling it!
I can see the American with the big Starbucks coffee getting all the dirty looks from everyone!
You should explore doing some writing (if you aren't doing it already)! Brilliant!

Honestly you could learn fluent French and speak it very clearly and they’ll still smugly reply in English unless you can do it with zero accent so that you actually sound like a native.

You’re better off learning Spanish/Italian/German but the French won’t engage with you in French, it’s a thing.

I’ve been to Paris six times, with only schoolgirl French and have rarely encountered rudeness.

I do think people appreciate you trying a little bit.

That's never been my experience. When I was there earlier this year, I had quite a long conversation with a lady selling accessories near the Tuileries, who didn't speak English, and she complimented me on my French! I also found a couple of lovely shops in the 14e arrondissement, for example. I've been in several times - they remember me, they're very complimentary and converse with me in French.

There was one embarrassing time when I forgot where I was and started the conversation in Spanish... and the reply came straight back in Spanish...

I love how in Europe so many people are multilingual, and I wish learning languages was encouraged more, from a younger age, in the UK.

Ah, Paris. They can be right pricks there! Just so your best, my French is pretty good and I’ll still get sighs and a switch to English but they do appreciate someone making the effort.
Inwiuld at least ask in French if they speak English!

You've made my day, thank you so much @girlswillbegirls 😘

I find that trying to speak French in Paris will induce looks of mild horror and they will answer you in English anyway.

I live in Paris and would agree that saying Bonjour is absolutely key. Not to say it is the equivalent of not saying please or thank you in English - the height of bad manners. The French say Bonjour before beginning any interaction - Excusez-moi is not an acceptable alternative. Say Bonjour first otherwise they will just think you are unspeakably rude, ignorant and a foreigner to boot. This is a huge cultural difference and really cannot be overstated. And you really can't say it too much - so bonjour when you enter the cafe, bonjour to the person who serves you, bonjour to the wine waiter if that's a different person, bonjour to the person behind the bar if you are asking directions to the loo. If you omit this, you may find the person you attempting to interact with says a very loud and pointed Bonjour before continuing the conversation.

They like to test me still to make sure that I understand the 'secret French rules' (you only learn these by getting things wrong) including testing my wine knowledge (blind tastings where I have to guess the wine) and everything you can think of. I was pronounced "almost French" and "you could be French" so that's a big deal

God how boring. Honestly what a bunch of losers

Parisians can be spectacularly rude to 'Anglo-Saxons'.

How about us Normans ?

I know a few basic phrases, and will always say bonjour/bonsoir when entering a shop or the hotel. I also say 'I don't speak French' in French. It's when people start speaking back to me that I have no clue what they are saying, and no amount of preparing a few stock phrases will help in that situation. I've never experienced someone hearing my very bad accent and swapping to English, they just carry on in French and I have to awkwardly tell them I have no idea what they're saying

Anglo-Saxon is a term the French use to refer to English speaking nations. It's rather patronising (as well as historically and genealogically incorrect) but loses hands down when compared to cheese eating surrender monkeys.

Anglo-Saxon is a term the French use to refer to English speaking nations.

I guess the British don't have a monopoly on knowing fuck all about their own history then.

Of course the "Normans" (men of the North) are really displaced Yorkshre folk. Who happened to subjugate the indigenous "Anglo Saxons" with some brutality..

Still, we're all friends now. Well until Sunday morn.

We had a weekend in Paris a few years ago. Neither of us are fluent but we can certainly get by.

Got in a taxi and asked in French to be taken to the Eiffel Tower. La Tour Eiffel, s’il vous plaît.

Taxi driver went ‘quoi?’

We repeated it.

He made a shrugging motion and went ‘quoi’ at which point we thought wtf.

We repeated it again.

He looked confused.

We repeated it again.

He shrugged and I showed him the e-ticket on my phone. He went ‘Ah! La Tour Eiffel! Oui oui!’ as though I’d previously asked to mud wrestle his grandma instead and took us to the Eiffel Tower.

Like Londoners, Parisians are not representative of France. We go to France regularly but to rural areas and while fewer people speak English, they are much more willing to interact if you make an effort in French.

It’s a bit risky, but you could say je suis croate, assuming they don’t speak Croatian. You’d then impress them with your amazing grasp of the English language and superior accent.

My husband works in Paris so I’m there pretty often. Im also ashamed to say my French is basic. I manage a bonjour, auvoir, merci and that is about it. But im happy to spend a day on my own visiting shops, bars or museums because everyone is so lovely.
The majority speak English and are very accommodating if you greet them with a bonjour Madame.
Please don’t spoil what will be a wonderful trip to Paris by worrying, you’ll be fine. Have a great trip.

I have found that I will be in a shop / restaurant / buying tickets etc in my school French but will be always answered in English (as if I don't look like a Parisian woman!!)

When you speak really fluent French you can tell them to cut that out and that your French is much better than their English. But when you do speak that perfect, grammatically correct French, nobody will ever say anything positive about it. But by then you'll have perfected the gallic shrug.🙍

This may explain why I got on so well! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

You can always just follow the advice of Girls Aloud, and if you don't speak French just let the funky music do the talking

I always spoke French in France. I wasn't good but really tried with the accent and remembered to use manners. They would speak so fast back at me in French 😂

I got myself in a pickle a few times but "plus lentement s'il vous plaît" (off the top of my head) helped if it was too fast.

Sometimes I had to work on keywords as it was that fast. I think they silently appreciate you're trying 😉 yes some half smile at you and others won't. If someone came to England and spoke in French to me, I'd be thinking, ok we're in England, so at least try to speak English.

I think duo lingo and practice as others suggested. It's a beautiful language.

Same here! I thought my French accent was good, well passable. Apparently not.