To get anxious going into French shops/restaurants when I can't speak French?

[frenchfail]

I went to Paris for the first time this year, and I'm going back soon. It was my first time going abroad so I'm really not well travelled. When I was in Paris I found myself feeling really nervous going into shops and restaurants. I tried to learn a few phrases but would forget to use them or would feel too nervous to attempt to use them.

I went in a few shops and would say 'Bonjour, do you speak English please?' but I felt like that was rude and like I was committing an awful faux pas.

WIBU do continue to say 'Bonjour, do you speak English please?' or do I need to try and learn more French before I go?

This may be very 20th century of me but I still like to get a Berlitz phrasebook when I go somewhere where I can't speak the language. Which is most places. Even having the phrasebook visible on your table shows that you're trying. And that's all you can do. You can't stop yourself from travelling to countries just because you don't know the language. A friendly manner and the impression that you're making an effort will go a long way.

I speak some French. I think Paris is tricky for anyone trying to speak French as it can be very unfriendly. I think you just need to ignore any rudeness. Learn a few useful stock phrases and use them. Ask in French if they speak English.

Actually, I lie. There was one absolute prick (a young, beardy gendarme who seemed to dislike me asking his female partner a question) but there's always one I suppose!

I don't speak French very well but the last time I was in Paris I found most people very tolerant except the person who pretended not to understand when I asked where the gare was. At the time my French was a bit better than GCSE level.

I speak French and on holidays play the farcical game of me, an English speaker, speaking French to a French speaker who is talking back to me in English. We both persist and neither gives in and it's part of the game

I sometimes get this in Germany but I am often with my DH who doesn't speak German very well so I'll give in and speak English.

The thing that really frustrates me about travel articles is that they never say how easy or not it is in that country if you don't speak the local language. For example, if you go to Copenhagen you know everyone speaks English (and no doubt German too) but what is it like if you eg go to Riga or Yakutzt (obviously not the latter at the moment!) or even somewhere like Valencia? It would be really useful to know if you can get by with English, or German or some other language if you can't speak the local lingo.

I still like to get a Berlitz phrasebook when I go somewhere where I can't speak the language yes I find it very useful for French and Italian where I speak a bit but need some help at times!

It does. Getting to point of basic conversation is about 100 hoyrs of learning iirc.

It's good to learn handful, or rather have them on you than learn, like please, thank you, one beer please😁 Most people anywhere will understand if you ask for hospital or police in any language.
Hands and feet language always works

True story: When I launched into a question in French at Charles De Gaulle Airport, the assistant held out his hand in front of him in a 'stop' gesture and said "Stop! Your French is hurting my ears".
I switched to English at this point.
In Paris, you don't get points for trying!

I appreciate what you re saying. I have been to France in general and Paris in particular, many, many times. I do speak French. However, I have noticed that the French often "pretend" they don't understand English. Then they suddenly LOVE you when you try to speak French, no matter how awful! My very best phrase, which I strongly advise you to memorise, is "Je m'excuse de ne parler pas tres bien francais ... je viens d' Angleterre (or wherever)" then launch into whatever you want to say. They really appreciate the attempt!!

Don't you have to pay for Babbel? Duolingo is free (if you don't mind dealing with a few adverts) so is a good starting point.

As a teenager, I tried to speak French phrases in Paris and most people just sneered. I have since taught children of French parents and they told me even the French think parisians are stuck up.

You've stated Paris is not a very friendly place. Of course I can say it's not true.

Everyone was happy to speak English last year when I went to Paris. I do know some French though.

They don't make that extra effort in UK because nearly everyone had some english at some point at schools, but other countries don't really learn when going to non english countries...

Yep, I've been to France, Spain, Portugal, Italy etc. with my Danish in laws and i was the only one who tried to speak anything other than English. Even in Norway and Sweden my Danish husband defaulted to English even though they're really similar languages

I felt like this but we went to France every year so I learnt a bit I’d the language. I went on a course and was rubbish (I was rubbish, the course was good). I googled a lot and read a lot of books. I still can’t understand the replies I’m given! I can ask for things such as prices and if they have anything left and order food. It’s still
embarrassing when I don’t understand their reply.
When they see me googling what I’m asking for they laugh (kindly) and help me out with words and pronunciation.
Had a whole queue in a supermarket crowding round helping me teach my kids the price of what we were paying for. All telling me well done in French

If you speak French in an English accent to the majority of French people they'll talk back to you in English anyway IME

A few basics will help you along. A bright and breezy "bonjour monsieur/madame" when you enter a shop or cafe/bar/resto and a polite "merci, au revoir, bonne journée" when you leave will be enough to show you're making an effort.

It's really not uncommon for Brits to not speak the language and although in Paris especially (!) you'll find, shall we say, a mixture of responses to that, it's really not on you as a tourist to speak the lingo fluently. Just smile and be polite and, if you can, remember a few basic phrases. Practise them before you go and they'll be tripping off your tongue in no time!

They can be so dramatic. I love it

That's absolutely awful, talk about knocking a child's confidence 😐

Yep this!

I can speak French to a reasonable degree but often find somewhere like Paris I get replied to in English.

Towns and villages in more rural France I tend to converse in French.

I think it's obnoxious.

I hope the poster responded to him in the most complex colloquial English she could think of.

Agreed, in Paris they really don't appreciate attempts at speaking French, they are rude whatever you do. In the South of France I have found people to be much more friendly. I don't think the Parisienne's like anyone though, they call French people who don't live in Paris 'provinciaux'.

It's totally normal.
For tourism it's just how it is.

For those saying "this is brits have bad name", it's not that as tourists people don't learn (no one does...) other language. It's being famous for not learning it and having own stuff when living in other country.
Not for visiting Athens for week and not speak Greek

When I go to parents holiday home area most of the locals are friendly in eg Intermarche and local shops etc (strong English presence living there). However in one tabac I went to to buy stamps and have a drink, the French female owner/bar person was very rude in both her language and manner, so much so that my friend with me commented on it. I can’t recall what I said but basically something along the lines of she didn’t have to be so rude and we both left.

I think the people saying ‘oh you should learn some phrases’ etc are being slightly unsupportive, because I wonder how many people if they went to say China or India or Norway for example, would ‘learn a few phrases’ when visiting those countries.

Languages for many people are extremely difficult to learn…even very simple phrases. Even if you learn ‘parlez-vous anglais?’, if they say ‘non’, it’s not going to be helpful anyway.

I’ve been to Paris a fair few times and speak pretty ok French and I know that there are a high number of English speakers in Paris….they often just choose not to speak it.

That being said, if you are able to learn a few phrases such as ‘please could you help me’, or ‘I’m trying to find…’ and ‘I’m sorry but I don’t speak French’, you’ll find someone who will help you. But google translate is your friend. Other than in shops and restaurants, there are really very few times you’ll be stuck unless you lose your phone! In museums and other sight seeing places, there are English speaking tour guides and head sets with English versions of the visit so you’ll honestly find it no problem. I definitely wouldn’t avoid going back to Paris if you love it.

I'm with you. It's useless unless you can understand the replies.

When I started working in France and Belgium regularly - but before my French improved to the 'almost acceptable' level it's now at - I learned how to say, "I don't speak French very well but I do speak it a little bit".

The problem was that I learned the phrase so well, including the accent, that people automatically thought I actually understood the language quite well and was just being modest, so they answered me in rapid-fire French with zero effort to speak slowly or precisely. It was worse than if I'd just stood there looking dumb at them (which I'm a natural at). 😂