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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think something has happened to my mum?

258 replies

Pippa113 · 06/12/2022 19:10

My mum usually calls atleast once a day, usually more. Every Tuesday she comes here for her dinner and to see her grandchildren.

I spoke to her multiple times yesterday, the last thing she said was that she was going to see her sister today but was quite apprehensive about it because she is off her meds and has been behaving strangely (she has paranoid schizophrenia) and she doesn't like going round when she's like that.

Mum's phone has been off all day, this isn't like mum these days, she's always reachable and always calling. Her sisters phone is off too.

I have a sinking feeling that something has happened to her. I don't know what to do or if I'm being irrational / prejudice or ignorant.

Would I be contacted if something had happened? I can't go down there, 3 poorly DC here and no car.

Would you be worried?

OP posts:
babysoupdragon2 · 06/12/2022 19:12

Can anyone else pop over to check on her? A neighbour?
She's most likely absolutely fine but your mind isn't going to let it rest .

Shayisgreat · 06/12/2022 19:12

Could you call your aunt who she was planning to see today to check if she went there?

Cara671244 · 06/12/2022 19:13

Is there anyone else you can contact to pop in? If not I would do a welfare check and call the police

Shayisgreat · 06/12/2022 19:13

Ah sorry, have just read that aunt's phone is off too. Options are to call around friends to check in on her or call the police.

Stressedmum2017 · 06/12/2022 19:13

Is there any other relatives who can go check or someone to look after your dc while you go?

1234IDeclareAPeanutWar · 06/12/2022 19:13

You need to send someone round.

Or call the police.

Your mums probably just lost her phone.

silverclock222 · 06/12/2022 19:14

Maybe she's fallen asleep? Stress is very tiring. Could you call a neighbour to knock on her door?

Original poster
Pippa113 · 06/12/2022 19:15

I don't have any contact details for either of their neighbours. Ive tried calling her sister several times but the phone goes straight to voicemail like mums. I've got it in my head that mum has been hurt and her sister has been taken into police custody.

Would the police be prepared to do a welfare check or would that be wasting their time?

OP posts:
Newwardrobe · 06/12/2022 19:15

Does she live far away? Could you get another relative or friend to check on her?

Newwardrobe · 06/12/2022 19:16

Why would you think your aunt had been taken into police custody?

LeakyTapTap · 06/12/2022 19:16

Why are you messing about? Phone 101 and ask the police to to a welfare check.

froggybiby · 06/12/2022 19:16

I 🙏your mum is OK. Can you call the police to do a welfare check & state what you put here? That's what I would do.

DarkKarmaIlama · 06/12/2022 19:16

Call the police, with your mothers diagnosis they will absolutely do a welfare check. If she’s off her meds she could be very vulnerable and it’s so cold out there.

twistandscream · 06/12/2022 19:17

Certainly, I would request a welfare check in these circumstances.

Twinklenoseblows · 06/12/2022 19:17

If you can't get anyone to check on your mum I would ask the police to do welfare check. No-one is going to be able to contact you if they don't know about it because both your mum and your aunt are holed up at your aunt's and your mum can't leave.

What time would your mum get home?

Matilda1981 · 06/12/2022 19:18

Apologes but it’s not clear who the paranoid schizophrenic is? Personally, having a family member with the illness myself I would call the police to do a welfare check. Not taking meds is not a good situation.

Ladybug14 · 06/12/2022 19:18

Gracious. Definitely a welfare check

FishandVisitors · 06/12/2022 19:18

One way or another please check up on her and your aunt. Without wanting to panic you I know of two deaths which may have been avoided if people had checked up on them when they didn’t show up as normal (one didn’t go to work, one didn’t speak to family all weekend)

Original poster
Pippa113 · 06/12/2022 19:19

Newwardrobe · 06/12/2022 19:16

Why would you think your aunt had been taken into police custody?

Because she's off her medication, had been behaving erratically and has been sectioned many times including as recently as 6 months ago. Its the police who go to detain her.

I have a horrible feeling that she's done something to mum, she's not in her right mind.

OP posts:
SpicyFoodRocks · 06/12/2022 19:19

Is there a history of violence? What makes you think the aunt with schizophrenia has assaulted your mum?

I am sorry you are so stressed. I think the police would need a bit more information or evidence before doing a welfare check but I could be wrong.

Glassslapper · 06/12/2022 19:19

Pippa113 · 06/12/2022 19:15

I don't have any contact details for either of their neighbours. Ive tried calling her sister several times but the phone goes straight to voicemail like mums. I've got it in my head that mum has been hurt and her sister has been taken into police custody.

Would the police be prepared to do a welfare check or would that be wasting their time?

Seek help for your anxiety if this is genuinely what you think has happened

Original poster
Pippa113 · 06/12/2022 19:20

Matilda1981 · 06/12/2022 19:18

Apologes but it’s not clear who the paranoid schizophrenic is? Personally, having a family member with the illness myself I would call the police to do a welfare check. Not taking meds is not a good situation.

It's my aunt who has paranoid schizophrenia.

I'm going to call and ask for a welfare check. I was hoping people would say I'm being ridiculous. I'm shitting myself.

OP posts:
RedBonnet · 06/12/2022 19:20

I read it as her mum's sister is off her meds hence why her mum was worried about going round there.

Iwantmyoldnameback · 06/12/2022 19:21

Have you checked there isn't an issue with phone signal in the area ? If that's ok then yes I think you need to get someone involved.

lifeisacat · 06/12/2022 19:21

Call local police and ask them to go round. Really hope all is ok and mum is ok. X