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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think something has happened to my mum?

258 replies

Pippa113 · 06/12/2022 19:10

My mum usually calls atleast once a day, usually more. Every Tuesday she comes here for her dinner and to see her grandchildren.

I spoke to her multiple times yesterday, the last thing she said was that she was going to see her sister today but was quite apprehensive about it because she is off her meds and has been behaving strangely (she has paranoid schizophrenia) and she doesn't like going round when she's like that.

Mum's phone has been off all day, this isn't like mum these days, she's always reachable and always calling. Her sisters phone is off too.

I have a sinking feeling that something has happened to her. I don't know what to do or if I'm being irrational / prejudice or ignorant.

Would I be contacted if something had happened? I can't go down there, 3 poorly DC here and no car.

Would you be worried?

OP posts:
Shannny · 06/12/2022 19:21

When my mum suddenly stopped receiving or replying to messages I thought something was wrong … turned out her phone battery had completely died and wouldn’t charge up again.

in your case though, I would:

call the police and ask for a welfare check
call the hospital and ask if they have anyone recently taken in with that name
ask the police if they have your aunt in custody (I have experience with this)

Thatiswild · 06/12/2022 19:22

Definitely call the local police and explain they sometimes have had to intervene, this is a situation where a welfare check is sensible and it is safer for them to go than you. Otherwise you need to get someone to watch the kids while you go over or take the kids in a taxi sick or not. You won’t be able to rest until you know she’s ok, she’s probably fine but I understand how worried you must feel,

LemoncHello7 · 06/12/2022 19:23

How worrying for you Pippa. As you e already been advised, call the police for a welfare check, given the circumstances.
hope alls well and there’s an explanation for this x x

Ylvamoon · 06/12/2022 19:23

Get off MN and call the police to do welfare check at your mums and your aunt. Given the history, they will be taking your concerns seriously.

SpicyFoodRocks · 06/12/2022 19:24

Try not to panic OP. One more likely possible outcome is that your mum persuaded her sister to go to A and E or she called an ambulance and they are stuck waiting somewhere with dodgy phone reception and long waiting times.

Remaker · 06/12/2022 19:24

Your post makes it sound like it’s your mum who has schizophrenia but I assume it’s actually your aunt who does.

A couple of times I was worried about my mum and got friends to go round and it was something innocuous like the phone wasn’t working. But one time I jumped in the car thinking I’m going to be so cross if she’s fine when I get there (she’s terrible about keeping in touch) and I found her close to death on the floor. I would call to ask for a welfare check.

KrystynaZ · 06/12/2022 19:24

Pippa113 · 06/12/2022 19:20

It's my aunt who has paranoid schizophrenia.

I'm going to call and ask for a welfare check. I was hoping people would say I'm being ridiculous. I'm shitting myself.

Show quote history

You're doing the right thing OP. I hope your mum is okay.

LickYouLikeACrispPacket · 06/12/2022 19:24

I think a police welfare check is totally appropriate in this case as you can’t check yourself and you have no other option really. Hopefully all is ok.

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 06/12/2022 19:26

I imagine that you would be contacted if your aunt harmed your mother and police were involved. However I would be concerned and contact the authorities due to your mother not calling like she always does, your mother expressing some concerns regarding her sisters behavior due to being off of her meds and neither having their phones on. Good luck OP.

Doliveira · 06/12/2022 19:26

The police will be glad to help. Fingers crossed It All Turns Out Alright In The End.

Pinkbluebells · 06/12/2022 19:26

I would be concerned in your case and ask for a police welfare check right now without any second thoughts. If something has happened with your aunt they may already know something.

InFiveMins · 06/12/2022 19:27

Hoping she's Ok, OP. I agree with someone else that she may have taken your aunt to hospital for help, and neither of them have signal in there which is why both phones are going to voicemail.

PennywisePoundFoolish · 06/12/2022 19:28

Do call, they can make an assessment of priority.

Fwiw I have rang police because I couldn't reach my mum and I lived 400 miles away. It was the right call

Badger1970 · 06/12/2022 19:30

I'd absolutely call for a welfare check. What an awful worry.

TokyoSushi · 06/12/2022 19:30

Oh goodness, yes I'd check. Was she planning to come to yours and hasn't turned up?

Timeforachangeisitnot · 06/12/2022 19:31

Just clicked on your thread. Hope you are proven wrong OP and your mum is fine, but thinking of you 🤞

Favouritefruits · 06/12/2022 19:31

People with schizophrenia are more likely to hurt themselves than other people, I would be more worried your Aunt is in hospital that your mum.

Daniki · 06/12/2022 19:33

Ring the police and get them to do a welfare check, nothing will put your mind at ease otherwise. Hoping it's something silly and everything's ok!

Icanflyhigh · 06/12/2022 19:33

Definitely ask police to check. Look forward to your update which says her phone was dead/lost and how relived you are. Sending love x

TabithaTittlemouse · 06/12/2022 19:33

If your aunt is known to the police I would imagine that they will take it quite seriously.
Hope everything is okay @Pippa113

Fleurdaisy · 06/12/2022 19:34

The police never mind doing welfare checks. If all is ok that’s a good outcome for them. If something is wrong they can often help or prevent the situation getting worse. Ask for both of them to be visited. I hope all is ok.

TicTacFrenzy · 06/12/2022 19:35

Had you spoken about dinner tonight?

ArrrrrghStopLickingTheDog · 06/12/2022 19:36

Try not to worry but I'm so glad you are requesting a WCheck. You can't really do anything else at this time

PonyPatter44 · 06/12/2022 19:36

Favouritefruits · 06/12/2022 19:31

People with schizophrenia are more likely to hurt themselves than other people, I would be more worried your Aunt is in hospital that your mum.

But occasionally they DO hurt other people, and OP knows her aunt and how she behaves, hence her concern.

OP i hope your mum is OK, and has just had a mishap with her phone.

Pompom2367 · 06/12/2022 19:37

Call local police for them both and ask for welfare checks