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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think something has happened to my mum?

258 replies

Pippa113 · 06/12/2022 19:10

My mum usually calls atleast once a day, usually more. Every Tuesday she comes here for her dinner and to see her grandchildren.

I spoke to her multiple times yesterday, the last thing she said was that she was going to see her sister today but was quite apprehensive about it because she is off her meds and has been behaving strangely (she has paranoid schizophrenia) and she doesn't like going round when she's like that.

Mum's phone has been off all day, this isn't like mum these days, she's always reachable and always calling. Her sisters phone is off too.

I have a sinking feeling that something has happened to her. I don't know what to do or if I'm being irrational / prejudice or ignorant.

Would I be contacted if something had happened? I can't go down there, 3 poorly DC here and no car.

Would you be worried?

OP posts:
Sixsmith · 06/12/2022 19:58

NameChange1718 · 06/12/2022 19:57

Ask a neighbour for help. You need to know about your mum tonight

We all need to know!

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 06/12/2022 19:58

Choconut · 06/12/2022 19:41

But people with schizophrenia are 4-7 times more likely to commit violent crimes than the average person so the OP is right to be concerned if her aunt isn't taking her meds.
I hope it's all ok and you find out soon OP.

Show quote history

Those stats are very heavily skewed by substance misuse. People with schizophrenia who don't have substance misuse problems are less likely to be violent than people with other mental illness or PD.

Of the people with schizophrenia who do commit serious violence, they are overwhelmingly young men.

Sadly the rates of self-harm are high amongst schizophrenics, but the chances of the OP's aunt having harmed anyone other than herself are very, very low.

Redglitter · 06/12/2022 19:59

Icanflyhigh · 06/12/2022 19:53

But not as many hours as waiting and reporting to 101, which could be tomorrow or the next day before anyone goes out to check.

Show quote history

But it doesn't matter whether you call 999 or 101 once the calls made. I appreciate the OP can't get through yet on 101 but when she has the call will be treated the same as if it was called on 999. 999 gets the phone answered quicker but once it's on the system how it was received has no bearing on how fast its dealt with. She could phone 999 & if its really busy it could still be hours & hours before anyone goes out.

AelinAshriver · 06/12/2022 19:59

I would go, OP. Sods law dictates your'll just get in the first bus and your mum will ring apologising that she left her phone at home by mistake and everything went well today.

abcdefghijkml · 06/12/2022 19:59

999 gets the phone answered quicker

So 999 is quicker then

Emmelina · 06/12/2022 20:00

I hope it all turns out okay op. You’ve every reason to be worried!

Zone2NorthLondon · 06/12/2022 20:00

before requesting welfare check call round A&E ask if she’s been admitted
a welfare check is after you’ve exhausted other checks

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 06/12/2022 20:01

I hope you get it sorted OP,.

101 is the non emergency number and the number you should be calling for a welfare check, ideally it would be the mental health crisis team you should be contacting.

101 is busy and you will be answered as soon as a call handler is free.

As a previous poster said, your call would only be answered quicker not that a police officer would be sent faster.

Cocopogo · 06/12/2022 20:01

I would get the two buses than mither the police. Then again I would assume her phone had died.

Pippa113 · 06/12/2022 20:02

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Zone2NorthLondon · 06/12/2022 20:02

Call the crisis team in the MH trust who deal with your sister, flag up concern she’s erratic and unmedicated

Icanflyhigh · 06/12/2022 20:02

Redglitter · 06/12/2022 19:59

But it doesn't matter whether you call 999 or 101 once the calls made. I appreciate the OP can't get through yet on 101 but when she has the call will be treated the same as if it was called on 999. 999 gets the phone answered quicker but once it's on the system how it was received has no bearing on how fast its dealt with. She could phone 999 & if its really busy it could still be hours & hours before anyone goes out.

Show quote history

Ok.
You're obviously not a despatcher anywhere local to me as this isn't how it works here.
101 is for routine non-emergencies. 999 is for things that need dealing with now i.e. emergencies.
Local SNT have always said if it is urgent and cannot wait til tomorrow 999 it - and its always be dealt with super fast, despite living on the edge of the border for the local police force.

Lsquiggles · 06/12/2022 20:02

You must be out of your mind with worry. I hope 101 pick up soon or you can go and check on your mom yourself asap, hopefully it's nothing...

Mummapenguin20 · 06/12/2022 20:04

hope there both ok

Icanflyhigh · 06/12/2022 20:04

abcdefghijkml · 06/12/2022 19:59

999 gets the phone answered quicker

So 999 is quicker then

Exactly. Thank you!

MichaelFabricantWig · 06/12/2022 20:04

I hope your wee mum is OK.

do you have a pal who could take you round there? I’d do that for a mate. Or I’d sit with the kids so they could get a bus/cab

TempyBrennan · 06/12/2022 20:05

This is the sort of thing police welfare checks are for. Hope you get through to someone (anyone!) who can help you or check in.

Flamingogirl08 · 06/12/2022 20:06

How far away does she live? Kids or not just get round there and stop messing about in the Internet

Someo · 06/12/2022 20:06

I hope you manage to speak to your mum soon OP.

GrazingSheep · 06/12/2022 20:06

I'll need 1 bus to my mums (35ish mins) or two to my aunts (an hour away

Can you get a taxi? Would be much quicker.
Hope everything works out ok

morbidd · 06/12/2022 20:06

I hope everyone is okay and it's just been an issue with their phones.

Glassslapper · 06/12/2022 20:08

Icanflyhigh · 06/12/2022 20:02

Ok.
You're obviously not a despatcher anywhere local to me as this isn't how it works here.
101 is for routine non-emergencies. 999 is for things that need dealing with now i.e. emergencies.
Local SNT have always said if it is urgent and cannot wait til tomorrow 999 it - and its always be dealt with super fast, despite living on the edge of the border for the local police force.

Show quote history

Once the call is logged it doesn’t matter which route you went down.

If I call 101 wrongly to report an emergency it would still be dealt with in the same timeframe as if I had called 999 and those handlers had taken the call instead.

FatEaredFuck · 06/12/2022 20:08

Hope you can get through by 101.

If she's out of the area it might only be your force with long delays answering rhe call, can you ring a number for local to her police?

RiderOfTheBlue · 06/12/2022 20:09

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abblie · 06/12/2022 20:09

Get of mumsnet and take action ffs why are you wasting time talking to strangers!!