DH serves himself the best bits

[cherriegarcia]

OK this is a very small thing but when my DH is serving food he always gives me the slightly less enticing portion.

For example, the slightly smaller half of the pizza or the half with less cheese. The part of the avocado that is a little brown. The toast that is a little burnt.

I feel so petty to bring it up with him but it's a constant thing and makes me feel a bit shit. I would always give the person I'm serving the better portion, I think it's just good manners.

Anyone else's partner do this? AIBU to say something about it or do I need to get over it?

My husband purposely serves himself the ropey bits of chicken from the bottom- and he’ll always give my kids and I the best of everything! I love him for this…
But, I’m sure there must be things my husband does that would really grind your gears - like his clothes all over the floor(that I have to collect/wash/dry/iron etc) so focus on the great bits of him - I’d mention it to him too before it eats away at you! Does he have lots of siblings and always got the raw deal growing up? Or maybe only child and is simply used to having the best bits for himself?

I have to confess that I've done this to my husband and hope he doesn't notice 🙈🤣 Maybe you should serve up and tell him which one he's having rather than let him serve up and claim his. If it bothers you then you should tell him specially if it's a massive difference in size.

I ask my dh to pick a plate. Sometimes he picks the nicest looking one, sometimes he picks the lesser one. Same the other way around!

When he goes to get the best portion, tap his hand and say "Oi that one's mine!" But make it light hearted.

When he tries to take the best bit in the divorce settlement you won't be surprised, will you?

If I cook, I will give the best bits to DH, DC or whoever I’ve cooked for. Feel bad otherwise. Think it’s because if I’m cooking, I’ve taken on the responsibility to serve a decent meal.
when DH cooks he does the same. I’ve noticed how he keeps all the burnt bits for himself 🤣 he’s a terrible cook

I would call that being really in mean in spirit.

It's slightly selfish, but then if your not doing the cooking can you really complain. I'd quite happily have the 'not so nice' bits if I didn't have to cook every single meal. But I don't eat dinner anyway so it's not a problem we've faced

If he’s lovely in every other way just start serving yourself the best bits? I tend to give DH the bigger portion but I love crispy bits so he and I always give me any crispy bits. I wouldn’t take it to heart.

Just a thought. If you always give him what you see as the "best bits", do you think he thinks you prefer the bits you get? Best is a personal opinion. I love the crispy edge bits of some things but DH would leave them in the pan if he was serving up (weirdo!!).

If this is your only issue in your relationship then yes yabu, this is such a non-problem 🙄

My mum raised me to always give the best bits to "the men" (and guests if any) first and mum and I would have whatever was left. I do this automatically still but I've started sharing out the best bits if I remember when plating up. DH always gets me to plate up the food even if he's done the cooking though so I don't actually know what he'd do!

You don't eat dinner?

I think there’s something about how you’re raised in this…I was always raised to offer the best bits to others (knowing that would be reciprocated) as well as fairness and equal share being a priority as part of a large sibling group. I used to do the same as you OP. My (only child) husband doesn’t do that, just takes what’s there, thinks nothing of eating more than his fair share of say a multipack of crisps or yogurts, but I’ve noticed my MIL will always take the the biggest/best slice of cake, roast potatoes etc for herself first and my DH does that too. I used to find it hurtful and thoughtless but decided there’s no point being a martyr about it so now just give myself the ‘best’ bits and take what I want from multipacks etc and I expect him to do the same for himself when he cooks. I have raised raised the share of food/snacks thing so he’s now trained not to take the last one of something without checking whether I’ve had any. Not ideal but better than him just scoffing everything and saying ‘well you should’ve eaten it if you wanted it’ 🙄

Chef's priviledge - I would do the same😉

Wow…I’m amazed so many people are so self serving! The mainstay of our upbringing was always to put others first…and I’ve done that with my husband, kids, family, friends etc always….since I was a kid and now a granny….I don’t feel hard done by and enjoy looking after others…I truly am shocked to hear so many say they put themselves first!

If I’m cooking I get the nicer bits, but always give DH much more

No, I don't eat dinner.

Dont ask them about it. Someone who casually ends their post with, "oh, but I dont eat dinner," just wants someone to ask about it. Dont. Ignore it.

I don’t actually know what I do really. DH tends to get a bigger portion (he eats more) but tbh he’d eat anything so isn’t particularly fussed.

I know an elderly couple who went for years each one having the thing they liked least. She liked the chicken breast best, so she served that to her husband as a sign of love, and he like the leg better, but he was happy that his wife got it because he loved her.

It took them years to find out that they were depriving themselves for nothing, albeit out of love. So perhaps it wasn't for nothing.

Chef’s rights

My DH and I share the best bits (the end of the roast for example) but in other ways we complement each other as he likes burnt things and I don’t.

My kids used to do this so we had a rule, the “server” had to give the others the choice of plate. Everything was much fairer then

If I’ve bought it and cooked it I’m getting the best looking bit 🤣 I give him the bigger piece but mine looks tastier.
He never cooks for me though, if he did then I would probably give him a good bit but until then it’s mine!