DH serves himself the best bits

[cherriegarcia]

OK this is a very small thing but when my DH is serving food he always gives me the slightly less enticing portion.

For example, the slightly smaller half of the pizza or the half with less cheese. The part of the avocado that is a little brown. The toast that is a little burnt.

I feel so petty to bring it up with him but it's a constant thing and makes me feel a bit shit. I would always give the person I'm serving the better portion, I think it's just good manners.

Anyone else's partner do this? AIBU to say something about it or do I need to get over it?

When I cook I try to make sure everything is sort of well cooked anyway - I'd not leave half a pizza without cheese, I'd rearrange the cheese before putting in the oven. I make sure everyone has a decent looking plate so there's no 'worse' option. And I'm the chef 99% of the time. The only thing I'll take dibs on is crispy chicken skin. Would say I can't stand greedy men that don't share - massive turn off for me - after having an ex that you couldn't order one of those sharing plates in a restaurant as he'd eat three quarters or more of it and I'd still be hungry.

Depends I don’t mind burned toast. I like well cooked bacon. He doesn’t.

we usually give each other the best bits according to our own individual tastes.

This is interesting how family dynamics affects it. My mum always served best bits to dad (he was also served first), but as a child, when I saw something tasty, I wanted it, and my mum gave it to me. My dad always gave best bits to me and my sister. I didn't like greasy crepes, so dad always done these first fried on dry pan. I think it's normal that we look after family and want what's best for them. What I noticed, my husband never starts his meal without me, even if he's starving and has to wait for me, because I'm doing some last bits before I can sit down and eat.

I never serve food, I just put it out there and DH and DSs help themselves.

It prevents a lot of angst 😁

Did you just make a joke about someone's dead wife?

We give each other the best bits. I also always give him the bigger bit!

This would bother me too! DP used to pour two glasses of wine and mine would always be smaller than his, sometimes by a lot! It started to really bug me as I noticed it was every single time so I just pointed it out jokingly like "hey, where's the rest of my wine?!", "am I not allowed a full glass??" and he stopped doing it. Now, if he notices he has poured one larger, he swaps them. I always give the best/bigger portion to the other person too so I did find it hard that he was short changing me. I think it harks back to how his family dealt with/served out food etc when he was growing up and there was a subliminal "everyone is out to get the most for themselves" thing going on in his mind.

I'd jokingly point it out every time or say "we're going to do the thing where one person cuts/portions and the other chooses from now on...". See how carefully he evens the burnt/brown bits between portions then! Or say "hey, I give YOU the best bits when I'm serving...!".

I always keep the best bits for myself and DD. Tbh DH eats anything so its wasted on him. With pizzas I make sure he has more mushrooms as I never want loads, so I get the cheesier bit instead.

Why can he only cook half the food properly?

LTB!

Or, you know, just use your words instead of being a pass-agg child.

In our house it always used to be a shour from the kitche of 'Damn, I've just broken your egg.' 😄

Shout, not shour. Obvs.

You're not very funny, you know; and I think an apology to @Bog might be appreciated. Just a thought.

Growing up, penis portions were prevalent in our house, to the extent that DF even had his own bigger 'man sized' plate. He'd get the best of every meal, kids and DM equal second. This continued well into adulthood where retired, inactive DF would be sat with his penis portion struggling to finish whilst I was served a smaller portion despite being underweight with an active job, and always finished.

DF was responsible for pouring the wine too, and when visiting he would pour himself the most. I wondered if it was an accident, but it kept happening. I swapped the glasses around giving DM the bigger class. Funnily enough he'd seem to notice straight away and go to top his glass up 🙄

Pretty sure it's a troll.

I had similar to you. When my ex partner and I used to go to McDonald's he would come back with a medium meal for me and a large one for himself.

I noticed it after a couple of times and I asked if I could have a large one as well. He just said that he will get 2 medium ones then and I was depriving him of an extra bit of drink.

No - I agree with you.

Doesn't care enough to make sure that a man with a physically heavy job got a proper meal sounds disrespectful to me.

God - yes!

A a mother I have to admit I have to lunched off their leftovers when they were little, but that was partly because I was so rushed and partly because I hate wasted food and many a day they would just pick - you know what toddlers/pre-school children are like. One day they LOVE broccoli, the next it's the devils nose-slop and they won't touch it, or anything that has been next to it.

I still preferred my own dinner, though (and I don't eat the leftovers of anyone over the age of three, unless (say) it is an untouched sandwich.

I'm very sorry for your loss Bog, but I'm sure that no unkindness was meant at all.

It was a light-hearted comment and I have to admit I was just as thoughtless as the poster, because I didn't think of any other implications.

I agree that it must be very difficult and very heartbreaking for you and your child.

That's our house, too. 😁

I don’t understand. Why couldn’t he just get two large ones?

I agree OP. The chef should take the "worst" bits for himeself. It's just basic manners.

himself

I do not know, but he was very tight fisted. One reason why he is an ex