Anyone else just want to weep?

[CrapBucket]

I don't have time or energy for anything, am I the only one?

Home is a disaster- I have lost control of the basics like meals (although I'm always at bloody lidl or aldi or asda), laundry, walking the dog....

Behind on everything at work, need to delegate stuff and don't have time to explain anything properly to anyone

Teens are being really meh about everything and need me to set the tone of the family - I just don't have the mental energy

My friends need me and I'm flaking on them left right and centre

Parents want to know what kids want for Christmas.

Can someone please pause the world? Just want to crawl under duvet but then tomorrow will be even further behind.

Obviously I need to stop wasting time on mums net too.

Waaaaaaahhhhh

Money is stressful. Basically ove not been paid and there's only my income.

I'm wondering what I can wrap that looks like a lot under the tree....I have some charity shop bargains.

Same. The world has gone mad.

Wondering how my life became all about a big list of jobs that start before anyone else gets up and finish when everyone else is in bed. WTF!

Where did all those jobs go during lockdown? I remember thinking I had so much time on my hands and that I will never over fill my life again. And yet here I am. Here we all are.

@MistressoftheDarkSide Sending hugs, so sorry about your DP. 🌸

I remember when everyone on mn used to bitch about posters who’d suggest a spa day and getting a cleaner in to sort the place out. It’s all I can think of lately- just one spa day and one day of someone outside the house helping!!!

Totally with you, I run my own business and I’m based from home so it should mean I have time to do things like the laundry but I don’t. I have a toddler who I can supervise while working which is ideal but in the end up what happens is I’ll set an alarm to get up before him to work, he hears me and wakes, we have to go through the whole faff of milk then breakfast then taking off the weetabix-soaked clothes, looking for a new outfit, fighting with him to get a clean nappy on, then clean up the entire kitchen and high chair, then the dishes are overflowing in the sink so I need to put the dishwasher on then think I may as well quickly throw a washing in, put away yesterday’s, by the time I’ve done that I realise the floor really needs hoovered before I start working so he can play on it, by that point time is getting on and I feel like a slob if I sit down in my jammies so I go to get myself changed then we both need teeth brushed, the dog actually needs walked and somehow it’s hours after I was meant to start work… 😩 this same pattern is happening day in day out. I still have a tax return to do that I’m just never going to get to and a list of peoples Christmas presents that aren’t bought. Totally want to pause it or split myself in two for the next month!

Last week I was on holiday and by Day 4 I didn't want to be there. But I didn't want to be home either. Then I realised I just didn't want to be. I can't even cry.

I hear you…. It’s all
just never ending. I don’t have any magic answers but don’t be hard on yourself, and moan away! Hope things get better for you soon xx

I think you need some " me" time and proper rest. I know it sounds nearly impossible with everything going on. It feels that so many people depend on you daily and that you are doing so much for them.

Maybe just an hour for you? Do you think you can delegate anything?

I am in the same boat. Was working and studying like mad whilst having a small baby. Now have got a chronic condition because of it. Please put yourself first. We are not used to doing it but even an hour for you ( be it a walk, going to the movies on your own or having a nice coffee somewhere) it will bring a bit of calm and much needed rest for you :)

Big Hug!

Any room under that duvet for me? Fed up to the back teeth with everything and everyone apart from the dog. I actually arghed out loud today and I think I scared him.

I should have so much time to do things, but being menopausal it feels like I'm wading through treacle every day. OH suggested putting the Christmas tree up yesterday, I could have wept. There's a work situation that I need to ring ACAS about, but I need to get the timeline down beforehand. One of my health conditions is getting worse because of the stress, but because it's getting worse, I don't have the energy. I've got so much to do that I honestly don't know where to start.

And now it's bedtime, I'll be up again at 06:30 thanks to the dog wanting his breakfast. Such fun 🙄.

ALL OF THAT

with bells on

Perimenopause?

I feel exactly the same at the moment - months of renovation work, life just totally none stop, no time to do anything with work/housework. Friends feel equally as stressed. Im wondering if its the effects of life slowing down abit for Covid and now we’re back to normal, everything feels so hectic, stressed and expensive!

Strangely reading everyones comments actually makes me feel slightly better we’re all totally overwhelmed together! 😅

Reminds me of childhood Christmases when my mother would plan and execute everything very very perfectly beforehand , but when time arrived to entertain family etc grief overcame her and she went to bed. Every parcel wrapped perfectly and chosen carefully , decorations home made beautifully, never really made up for her absence. I haven’t done anything about Xmas for years, got over feeling guilty. Your families will survive and learn how to do what they need to do without relying on you for everything. May you all get through this without sacrificing your own well-being. Difficult with little one but write lists of jobs and just leave it. Don’t do the work.

yes, frequently.

Yes, me. I am just juggling too much and I am completely exhausted and overwhelmed. Peri menopausal and feeling crap. My work is very demanding. I am also trying to run a house to make it a habitable place for a teen dd that also has a huge amount on her plate. Have been doing it alone for too many years and it’s all got too much.

I’m joining you all under the duvet. Completely hear everyone and agree.

it makes me so annoyed that so many people are stressed out and exhausted.

I don’t have enough energy to do what I need to do, so I procrastinate it all, then it builds up, and I don’t have the energy, and then boom! It all needs doing.

i could do with booking a weekend in a hotel, alone, so I can enjoy a hot bath, a book and a giant bed to just sleep.

I feel exactly the same. Can’t get motivated to do anything and feel overwhelmed by everything.

The asking for present ideas really fucks me off. My kids are teens, they have mobile phones, ask them yourself! It’s hard enough trying to figure out what to get them myself without having to give you lazy fuckers a list! Put some fucking thought into it! Argh!

I’ve had just about enough of everything as well. 7 month old is actually asleep but I’m not because my picc line is sore and I’m stressing about chemo on Wednesday because I finally feel well again after the last lot and I want more days of feeling just normal levels of tired and nothing else. Older dog seems to have regressed back to a naughty puppy and rolls in fox shit every time we’re out and the younger one has taken to barking at thin air. I’m worried about my husband who looks like he might drop down dead with exhaustion. Also I was supposed to be going back to work in Jan and can’t now because I’m ill, but was planning to send DD to her lovely nursery that we were so thrilled to get a place at anyway (figured it’d be more fun for her and also gives me a chance to rest) but now I’m stressing out that she’s going to pick up a load of the usual bugs which she’ll then pass to me and I’ll end up in hospital, or she’ll get strep A and die. FML. I know it could be worse but I’m so bloody fed up of things being so hard.

A lot of Christmas stress actually comes from that classic combination of Fear Obligation Guilt (FOG). We take on stress because we are scared that our children will "miss out", we are obliged to "be with family" or "buy them nice things" and we feel so guilty about it all. The FOG is putting is into fight or flight mode. Fight mode is that overtime-get-everything-done frantic energy; Flight mode is that hide-under-the-duvet energy. Let's just recognize that this comes from actual fear.

But that fear isn't real, well at least not for half the population. Men just don't feel this fear at all. It doesn't register for them. If they're not bothered, I don't need to feel fearful or guilty or obliged either. Just be like a man, and Christmas stress will melt away.

Actually, a good rule for life is "are the blokes doing this?". If they're not, I don't either. It's really worked out for me, I have a nice life. We are going to a restaurant for christmas lunch this year and the nephews are getting $50 in a card. DH isn't sorting it, I'm not sorting it, no worries.

Everybody else is on strike, so why not the Xmas faeries?

I took the big box out and put the tree together, but if people want it fluffed, lights and baubles, they can do it themselves. Had friends over and joked about how I feel about it, they did a bit to the tree and I cooked them Chilli and enjoyed the evening chatting. I'm only doing things I"ll enjoy this year, and I'm not gonna spend anything on anyone but me, and not a lot then.

Well it's 3.30am and I have been awake for an hour and I get up in 2. I am actually weeping as life does feel so overwhelming. But what can we actually do?

Anyone got ideas for health/sleep/menopause/relationship/housekeeping/christmas despair? If I could follow some instruction manual on how to avoid burnout I would, to the letter and with commitment. The standard life coaching advice I see is so unrealistic without childcare/cleaners/personal assistants/trainers/chefs and psychoanalysts. Hence why wine is my go to. It's cheap and close by! But again, not healthy. Answers on a postcard please!

Amazon.

I know they are evil but it's the easiest way to send gifts and they will even wrap them for you.

For everyone - you do need a break.

If you can afford it get a week's worth of ready meals and let the teens microwave them.

Give yourself some time, even if only an hour. If it's warm enough wrap up and have a cup of tea outside, if it isn't head for your bedroom and put a 'do not disturb' sign.

I know it's not that easy with small children.

I feel this, it's so hard. I do think pandemic hasn't helped, just the general disruption to routine makes it hard to get back into things. I remember feeling a bit frantic then too, and thinking to myself "why are you stressed, there's fuck all to do"- I put it down to feeling a lack of control. And that's continued now, for me, as Xmas looms and the expectations are all around to make it magical/buy all the perfect gifts/best Christmas ever blah blah.
In the thick of it single parenting young DC but reading some of these it doesn't sound like it gets any easier..
@TheMoth I'd like to sit by a window like an old cat too 😊 that sounds so peaceful.

This sounds ideal.

Yes I'm struggling to keep on top of the basics. Need to tidy my bedroom, like a teen!

The tree is up but other decorations still waiting, lying about.

Healthy meal planning out the window.

Sleep routine out.

Feeling down at lack of daylight. Not exercising enough. Corresponding weight gain. Then that knock on effect on self esteem.

Laundry spilling out of large bin. Have decided to put a big load in launderette to re set.

Feel like I'm always nagging DC's/ DP.

There's stuff everywhere.

Days disappear.

Tired all the time.